1) Sure you did.

2) Give a try? Neither. Those are not savory things.

3) Sure you did.

4) You got us. We just build castles out of chairs, sheets, comforters and pillows.

Also, you said biologically compatible, but…

5) I don’t know everything about humans, but I know enough.

If you look at an Equestrian History book, it’s got all kinds of stuff. Taming the land, farming techniques across the decades, the progression of magic, progression of weather control, foreign trade, development of our nation’s security, and yes, sometimes the defense of our nation.

You sit down with any given human history book, of any given nation, and it’s just war after war after war. As a species- no. As a society humans aren’t content unless they’re killing and stealing from each other. And there’s nothing efficient about that.

They will never have peace, because deep down they don’t want it. Humans don’t belong in Equestria, and if you think their way of life is anyway to live, then you don’t belong here either.

You started this conversation under the notion that you were different than the changlings that attacked us, and you just keep saying it. But you’ve given me no reason to believe you were ever sincere about that.

1) And… And when you say right path, do you mean… wholesome things? ‘Cause if so, I’m not really seeing the evil part. I mean, I’d never join; that cyborg bugpony sounds unsafe to work around. I’m just curious.

2) Aw phooey.

3) What a very human way to think.

4) I LY-ED!

5) Iunno. Is that their legal names or just what they go by?

6) You mean Neightendo? Granted Sony just goes by Sony, but they did change their system to PlayStable. Anyway, I don’t know. Probably not.

1) Everypony’s gotta front now and again. But you gotta lot of nerve playin’ that in my hood. You’d best step off, sucka.

2) Quite a range. I don’t claim to like everything, and I know better than to say “everything but blank, blank, and blank,” but quite a range.

Before you or anypony else starts, dubstep is not among that range.

3) Wouldn’t you know it, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I don’t care if your people are going through a drought, famine, pushed off your own land, there is no excuse for it. Ever. If you have a problem, you communicate it. That includes war declarations.

I’ve been watching ponies get hurt and worse for most of my life and I’m sick of it. Ponies that never wanted to fight. What I saw that day was a military force attacking civilians. Nothing you, or anypony else says will ever, ever justify it.

And don’t even try pushing some “ponies attacked first” crap, because I have access to 200 years of military documents that say otherwise.

But hey, if you want to try and convince me, you’re welcome to it.

4) Against, personally.

5) Is a statement. What were you wanting me to say in response? I saw that you hugged another one recently.

6) I’m not that fluffy!

7) Hey kiddo!

1) I don’t think so.

2) I say a lot of things.

3) This isn’t a forum for your extremest views, human.

4) Yeah… I was afraid of that. I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do for you. Just make sure you don’t allow yourself to ever be part of a situation like that when you grow up.

5) I wonder who this was supposed to be sent to?

6) Why? You think it’s funny too?

“A bear and a pony! Oh wow! How does that even work?!”

…

You blink absentmindedly and try your hardest to think. Event after event crosses your mind, but try as you might, you have no recollection of ever using the bathroom since this adventure began.

… That’s impossible! Surely this must be some kind of oversight! A gap in your memories, something! It’s been almost a day and a half!

You casually ask your friends when the last time they’d gone was, to which they reply just before you woke up this morning. Amy goes as far as believing she accidentally woke you up when she walked past you after coming back. Princess says she thought you’d gone before they left too and asks why you’d bring this up so suddenly. After all, moments before you reminded everypony about the possible dangers in here.

Hanging your head in embarrassment, say you have to go to the bathroom. Amy relays her belief that his building may have been an old school. If so, there should be a number of bathrooms, or at the very least one set. You’re about to excuse yourself when Amy takes the lead and waves for everypony else to follow.

As the group heads to the right around the circular T-intersection, you become aware that viability is deteriorating and the humidity is raising. You take your blanket-cloak off before it gets too wet and sweaty and put it away; the others seem to have already done this. You wonder if maybe leaving the door ajar was a bad idea. If this “fog” gets much thicker, you’d never see an attacker coming.

At roughly the quarter mark of the circle, Amy waves again and points to a doorway that appears to lead a public restroom. You nod in thanks and take a few steps inside. There are urinals present, so this must have been a male bathroom. Or possibly a unisex bathroom, though you’ve never seen one of those before, outside of a Porta Potty anyway.

Of course the stalls have no doors. The only doors you’ve seen were the outside ones. What is with this place! Why are all the doors gone?! Who steals a bathroom stall door?! What good is it?! I mean, of all the insensitive, inconsiderate-!

…

It occurs to you that the extreme humidity is beginning to negatively impact your judgement, making you incredibly irritable. You’re going to have to be careful with your thoughts for now.

1) No. Because we were attacked without warning. If a group starts a war, they let the group they’re attacking know there’s a war with official documentation. There’s no excuse for a direct, unannounced attack against another nation. Civilian lives were put in danger.

But we don’t just hate; not generally. And I never said a changling wouldn’t be welcome here. But things would become complicated.

2) No thank you, but I appreciate the sentiment!

3) Fiesta Dog, if I had to pick one. But I prefer Pikachu downing a 40 on a skateboard (after the break). I know Natazilla (Sometimes NSFW) drew it, but I can’t find it on her tumblr. There’s no music or spacey background for it; it doesn’t need any.

4) No. No it is not.

You might want to visit the hospital now.

5) Well.

6) True justice will wind up getting easily saved ponies killed on ideals alone.

Keep reading

Thanks! Been a while since I’ve had some fan mail!

Though, to be honest, I can’t tell if you’re saying wow or abbreviating an MMO.

Well, if you want to do something for me… You can.

1) Hehe, is this a Disgaea reference?

2) I don’t know. Kermit and Puppet Pal Mitch always did right by me.

3) Front, back, side to side.

4) Yeah, alright.

5) How so?

6) Okay. I’m sure you’re familiar with my financial situation. Is there anywhere you’d like to go or anything you’d like to do that doesn’t cost anything?

1) Well, I can’t speak for everypony, but I do. Most ponies are vegetarians, not vegans.

2) Probably not. I remember stealing one of those old Tiger Electronics games from a dentist office. I gave it back.

3) Not generally, but everypony is different. Really, what it comes down to is properly preparing food and not eating too much junk. When it comes to you humans, you generally feed your pets and livestock what’s best for them. On the other hoof, you generally eat junk all the time, or at the very least food that isn’t optimal for your digestive system. Ponies are no different than humans in that regard. If we eat too much junk or an incorrect dietary balance, it can be harmful to our lifespan, even fatal.

But from the minimal research I’ve done after receiving the question, I believe the myth stems from tomatoes and potatoes being classified as nightshade, which often have poisons parts even if some of it is eatable.

4) You’re not a horrible pony for finding something funny. You can’t control what makes you laugh. And you aren’t a horrible pony for fetishising something either, so long as it’s not harming anypony.

No, you’re a horrible pony for bringing it up in general public, especially around others that you’re fully aware have been negatively impacted by the act. Out of everything in the world, murder, rape, and by association all forms of torture are three things that no pony should ever be desensitized to. And by constantly bringing it up and joking about it, that’s exactly what you’re attempting to do, whether you mean to or not.

And make no mistake, rape is torture.

1) Please no. Nopony knows where that blood has been.

2) New like as soles? New-like as soles? New-like, such as soles? Souls maybe? What I’m basically saying here is, “Huh?”

3) Left or right side?

4) I’d be delighted, but shouldn’t I do something for you? I mean, I know you’re not really a father but… I don’t exactly know how this works.

5) Huh, I guess that thing makes a lot more sense in your world where it would just appear to be a crossover. Here it’s just Sci-fi, apocalyptic ponyland based upon a video game that takes place in Sci-fi, apocalyptic ponyland.

6) In essence the concept of commitment, in all aspects of life, shows respect toward all parties involved. I suppose the greatness of commitment would come from receiving that respect back from others in turn.

7) Most ponies feel about the same way I do; we were attacked, unprovoked, not by a diverse army, but by a single species that saw no problem in wiping our kind off the face of the planet for their own selfish end. A number were hurt and most of us have lost our sense of security, assuming we still possessed it.

We don’t want to kill changlings; that’s not our way. But we’re anxious and uneasy and however unfair it may be, you can’t rationally blame us for feeling this way. Micro evolution designed your species to all look the same specifically so other animals couldn’t tell two changlings apart. If we stumble upon a changling, we would have no way of knowing whether or not they were in the very force that attacked us.

1) I did bait a bunch of changlings that were attacking others into chasing me during the attack on Canterlot. So I guess you could say I wasn’t born yesterday.

2) Well, that shortens this conversation considerably. Glad you recognize that.

3) Thank you very much!

4) Always a pleasure to hear from you, anonymous.

5) Considering the impossibility of the matter, I’d be pretty shocked and confused.

6) That’s not true. It’s very easy to hate hate, it would just make you a hypocrite. However, don’t confuse that with disliking hate.

nerdbowdash:

This must be why I’m not a clever pony. Obviously, I must need more exercise.

I could give it a try.

1) Considering the following question, this one is suddenly strange and unnerving.

2) Sidebar. Link. Been there for like ten months.

Not sure who Dolphin Wishes is, but yes I’m acquainted with Sea Swirl.

3) Here’s a handy spelling tip, dissect the word. Mustache. Must Ache.

4) I direct your violent tendencies here. And we don’t hate changlings; we hate being attacked.

5) Aid is beyond me.
For to speak is to relive.
Cry not; I carry on.

Or would carry be two syllables?

6) Does sound like a setup for a sitcom, doesn’t it? But with how common sitcoms are, would it really be that awkward?

7) Uh… They’re alright, sure.

Edit: 8) If you want to. I understand there’s only so many hours in the day.

1) Tell you what…

2) Time consumes all. If you consider that judgement, yeah sure.

3) Well, let’s be realistic. Some ponies aren’t made to weather the storm. That’s why not all ponies are soldiers.

4) Pfft. I wish.

But I’m not going to force him to do something he doesn’t want to do. He does plenty for me.

5) Don’t I turn into a Godzilla monster or something? I forget the gag.

6) This must be a guide on how to fail at assaulting a capital because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut.

7) Moan a tonin? Da [omitted] am I reading?

Edit: Oh, and I’m behind again. Still got questions to get through.

1) While I appreciate the relationship advice, aren’t you supposed to ask me questions and then I give an answer?

2) I haven’t and am not, no. Wicked beat, though.

Outside of kart racers and Super Hang-On, the only racing games I’ve ever played were from the Need for Speed and Grand Turismo series. Never been too terribly fond of racing games, but hey, if it’s a good game it’s a good game.

3) Uh… I mean I understood what you said, I just don’t know why you said it.

4) As far as I know. I guess they die. Since their legs structure resembles a pony’s, I imagine they die like a pony. Probably not; though I have no idea if that would limit their shapeshifting ability. It would most definitely be illegal to test them.

5) Even if I could remember that far back, how would the orphan know?

6) Historical records indicate nothing that resembled a systematic rule during Discord’s reign of power. The further you were away from any social gathering, the better the odds of being safe, further invalidating your argument about fairness.

7) Flexibility, I imagine.

8) And it only goes downhill after that.

9) No. In fact, since he wouldn’t have stood out in anyway, I may never have started paying attention to him in the first place. I love him because of who he is.

10) Didn’t click that link, did you? I’m feeling generous, here’s a more specific one.