Lyra: So… I take it the exterminator visit went well.
Bon-Bon: They said they’d already been informed by Applejack and were prepared, but I didn’t see 40 ponies on duty. They’ll be the first to fall.
Lyra: Wow! That’s… dark. Coming from you.
Tootsie: Do we really have to sit here with all the lights off?
Bon-Bon: Sorry Liza, flyders are attracted to light. It leads them to prey.
Lyra: Everypony else has their lights on.
Bon-Bon: Get away from the window!
Lyra: Geez!
Bon-Bon: If they see us it’ll already be too late!
Tootsie: Aunt Bon-Bon, you’re kinda acting more like I’d expect Lyra to be acting.
Lyra: Hmm… I’d take offense to that but I can see where you’re coming from.
Bon-Bon: You two have never even seen flyders before!
Lyra: Wait a minute, are you… afraid?
Bon-Bon: Are you… insane?
Lyra: I mean, I’ve seen you upset, confused, angry, worried, but afraid? I didn’t think you were afraid of anything.
[Pause]
Bon-Bon: Is this going somewhere-?!
Lyra: Do you have a phobia?
Bon-Bon: H-… How can you have a phobia about something that will actively try to kill you?!
Tootsie: The CMC said they went camping over the weekend.
Bon-Bon: Well that’s nice and wholesome.
Tootsie: Yeah, except they said they were attacked by a swarm of Flyders?
Bon-Bon: [Coughing][Sputtering] FLYDERS?!
Tootsie: Ye-
Bon-Bon: Where were they?!
Tootsie: I-Iuh… W-Winsome Falls?
Bon-Bon: That’s not far from here… Close all the windows! Call Lyra and tell her to get back here ASAP! I’ve got to contact the town exterminator! They have to prepare for this!
Tootsie: Bon-Bon! Wait! What’s a-…! What’s a Flyder?
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Bon-Bon: What?
Lyra: What?
Bon-Bon: You can’t be serious.
Lyra: Hey, I’m not saying I don’t like Vanilla Strawberry Cream. I’m just saying it’s not always the best.
Bon-Bon: That doesn’t make any sense. You love Vanilla Strawberry. It’s your favorite ice cream, it’s your favorite cake. It’s your favorite ice cream cake. It’s your favorite cookie, it’s your favorite candy. If I knew how to bake it into a bagel, it’d be your favorite bagel. And you don’t even like bagels!
Lyra: Shows how much you know. I love strawberry bagels!
Bon-Bon: This is exactly what I’m talking about!
Lyra: I’m talking about Vanilla Strawberry Cream! They put it on everything!
Bon-Bon: Of course they do! We make what sells! And your conveniently deniable obsession with Vanilla Strawberry drives the entire market!
It can’t possibly be overused!
Lyra: [Scoff] Well I think Vanilla Strawberry Cream is overused!
Bon-Bon: Hmph!
Spike: Yes! Fighting! [Pause] Uh… I mean, what seems to be the problem?
[video]
[video]
Bon-Bon: I can’t stay here, I have work in the morning!
Lyra: This is ridiculous. We’ve been out here for like fifteen minutes. They can’t just hide in there! We have valid questions that need answering!
Berryshine: Yeah! It’s like they think they can just sing a song and it’ll solve everypony’s problems!
Lyra: Oh that is so Twilight too. Just sing a song and walk away.
Rose: There she is! They’re coming out!
[Ravenous uproar]
Twilight: Everypony please! If I can have your attention!
Reporter Pony?: Princess Twilight-!
Twilight: I am so sorry, but we will not be taking questions at this time-
Reporter Pony?: My pencil…
Twilight: Everypony, we would like to let you all know just how thrilled we are that The Friendship Journal was such a hit among so many ponies! So much so that you’ve taken a break from your everyday lives to gather here. It is for this reason, and many others, that I invite you all to return to your homes and reread the work! But this time, do so at a slower pace. Reflect upon the many lessons found within, but only one-at-a-time. Maybe only read one lesson a day!
Rainbow Dash: But mostly just go home!
Reporter Pony?: And what if we don’t?!
[Cries of approval]
Twilight: That is a very good question! And if I could just direct your attention to the center of Ponyville-! [Zap] Which is where you now are. For those of you remaining, I can’t promise you you’ll all end up in the same place if you stay, but I can assure you it won’t be here.
[Pause, Grumbles of Dispersal]
Twilight: Thank you! Thank you for reading! And if any of you find your way to Sweet Apple Acres on your way back, be sure to let everypony there know they are trespassing on royal land, gifted to the Apple family, who have the sole authority to prosecute!
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(via iamonlykidding)
Lyra: No doubt about it, Lisa, you were right! Applejack is the best!
Tootsie: Thanks!
Bon-Bon: I’ve always felt welcome on Sweet Apple Acres, but I’ve never just… you know, relaxed before!
Tootsie: You should relax more often!
Bon-Bon: Maybe I should!
Applejack: [Pant] Sorry the… the plate’s empty… All the other guests already… Do you fillies need anything?
Lyra: We’re fine over here, Applejack!
Bon-Bon: Thanks a bunch, Applejack!
Tootsie: We love you, Applejack!
Dinky: And how! Yee~haw~!
Applejack: [Dejected Sigh]
Lyra: Did that sigh sound, I don’t know, dejected to anypony else?
Bon-Bon: Those don’t sound like relaxing thoughts.
Tootsie: Hey everypony! I’m-
Lyra: Say what again, filly! SAY WHAT AGAIN!
Bon-Bon: Rarity is a selfish, self-centered, manipulating-
Tootsie: totally not surprised…
Bon-Bon: -with an ego only rivaling Rainbow Dash!
Lyra: Oh yeah?! Well guess who’s an eccentric, hyperactive, stalker; and at least three times more controlling than even Twilight Sparkle?! Knock knock, it’s Pinkie Pie!
Bon-Bon: [Gasp] How dare you take the Ponk’s name in vain?!
Lyra: You’re just a-!
Bon-Bon: I’ll have you know-!
[Unintelligible Yelling]
Tootsie: “Say, Lisa, who gave your favorite friendship lessons?” Oh, I really liked Fluttershy’s because I know what it’s like to feel small and anxious about speaking out. I found her lessons to be the most relatable. “Gee, Lisa, that’s so mature and adult of you!“ Thanks, but my favorite lessons were Applejack’s. You know why? Because she actually CARES ABOUT FAMILY!
[Door Slam; Pause]
Lyra: Um… Lisa’s home.
Bon-Bon: You don’t say?
Bon-Bon: Oh, so you got a copy too?
Lyra: Huh? Oh yeah. I wasn’t gonna, but Twilight was literally just giving them out.
Bon-Bon: That’s funny, I got two. One for me and one for you.
Lyra: You could give one to Lisa.
Bon-Bon: I’ll be surprised if she doesn’t already have a copy by Monday. Rumblings I’ve heard is that The Friendship Journal’s selling like cider all across Equestria.
Lyra: I guess it’s not every day a princess publishes a book.
Bon-Bon: It’s not everyday you actually read a book either.
Lyra: If you can call Fluttershy’s entries reading. Make an ant squint. And Rarity’s might as well be wrote in Saddle Arabian.
Bon-Bon: You mean Arabic. You know, if you’re having trouble, I could always read to you.
Lyra: Get off me ‘fore you break the stool!
Bon-Bon: Lyra! Lyra! Look!
Lyra: Pear jam? You’re about a consonant away from-
Bon-Bon: Yes! And you’ll never guess where I got it!
Lyra: Was it the market?
Bon-Bon: No! I-I mean, technically… Why are you like this?
Lyra: It’s jam, Bon-Bon. What’s the big deal?
Bon-Bon: Grand Pear is back!
Lyra: Is… is that code?
Bon-Bon: No! You’ve seriously never heard anyone bring him up? He used to own a pear orchard next to The Apples. My parents used to talk about him all the time, both in Canterlot and when we moved to Ponyville. If you’ve ever had pear jam, its his. His was the smaller business, but before he moved away to Vanhoover he went blow for blow with The Apples right here in their base of operations. And for years! He’s an entrepreneur juggernaut! A living legend!
Lyra: Oooh. I thought this was a food thing. This is a business thing.
Bon-Bon: [Gasp] What if he lets me make candy out of his pears? Lyra! No pony’s ever been allowed to make candy out of his pears! I need to prepare! Where’s my stationary?!
Lyra: So then she said “Pfft!“ And I was all “Pfft? You can’t just end a story with pfft. You didn’t really just say pfft and walk away. So what did you-“
Blues: Don’t turn around- woah uh-oh.
Lyra: What are you-Discord is behind me isn’t he?
Blues: He hasn’t seen us yet- woah uh-oh.
[Extended Pause]
Blues: Alright, he’s gone.
Lyra: Phew… So anyway, I was all “What did you really say?“ And she said-
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