Lyra: Well, we talked it over with her mother-
Bon-Bon: And with careful supervision-
Lyra: I’d like welcome the newest question answerer to AskLyra: Tootsie!
[Pause]
Lyra: I mean Liza!
Liza: Thank you! It’s an honor to officially join in!
Lyra: Looking at the screen though, you don’t think maybe I could just call you Tootsie on the computer, do you? Liza and Lyra look an awful-lot alike.
Tootsie?: Hmm… I’ll think about it.
1) Lyra: Well?
Bon-Bon: Eh.
Tootsie: PaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
2) Me neither…
1) If you’ve having the same trouble I did (after I finally figured out how to kill the adds on a melee character), it’s with its headbutt. I could never I-frame through it head-on. I found that you have to run to one side and roll perpendicular to its charge.
If it makes you feel better, you have to solo it. So you’re not at any disadvantage playing offline.
2) Outside of concept art and a toy, I’ve only seen a side view. And… he looks okay to me. Splinter always looked a little weird live-action.
You know, I’m usually pretty cynical when it comes to “negative publicity” (that 9/11 poster was completely intentional to keep media coverage up, and that’s despicable), but I didn’t make that connection. It makes perfect sense, though.
3) Okay. Enjoy!
4) Um… No? … No~… No.
Sorry, Strawberry, but B really doesn’t like much of anypony. I mean, he only really tolerates Krastos. How do you even do that? How do you not like Krastos? He’s so nice!
…
5) Scientists can’t decide if this is due to increased humidity making the air feel heavier, or cold and dry weather making the air literally heavier.
Some believe it may even be the askbox’s vertical location, relative to sea level.
[Door open]
Ribbon: Oh.
Lyra: Nice to see you too.
Ribbon: Bon-Bon isn’t here?
Lyra: Not right now.
Ribbon: Well, I’m here for Tootsie.
Lyra: I figured. She’s cleaning up some toys.
Ribbon: I see.
[Lengthy pause]
Ribbon: So… How much time have you spent with my daughter?
Lyra: Little to none.
Ribbon: … Really?
Lyra: Ask her yourself.
Ribbon: I’m… Just a little surprised, is all.
Lyra: Believe it or not, I do try to adhere to your wishes regarding Tootsie. She’s your daughter; not mine. I’m not going to disobey you just for petty revenge.
Ribbon: That’s… very admirable of you.
Lyra: I still have a sense of honor. I still try to respect the opinions of others.
Ribbon: Valuable virtues to instill in future generations… I suppose my husband was right again.
Lyra: Listen. We’ve both said some things to each other that could probably have been worded better. If you’re willing to let all of this go, so am I.
Ribbon: … I’m… sorry.
Lyra: I’m sorry too. Hug?
Ribbon: Let’s just stick to cordial conversation and go from there.
Lyra: Fair enough.
Liza: I’m ready!
Ribbon: Oh, Tootsie! It’s good to see you again. Let us be off.
Liza: Bye, Lyra!
Lyra: Have a good one, Liza!
1) I’d have probably been more impressed if I hadn’t been with another player doing all that live.
Also, no. I mean, if you ever meet me in a relaxed, casual environment, you’ll quickly find that I talk a big game. But even I know better than to cross a dragon.
Finally, buy the Jester Gloves from Magerold in Iron Keep. And get the Nahr Alma Hood and Robe by killing Titchy Gren in Undead Purgatory. There’s more than one way to get the trousers.
2) You know what I think? I think she’s jealous. I think she believes that, because I’m poor, I don’t deserve what I have.
3) … We just… sort of fell out of touch…
4) Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash would probably be pleased. Rarity and Rose would probably kill you.
5) Lyra: Bon-Bon says he’s some kind of executive in some kind of wine company.
Bon-Bon: Chief, Lyra. Chief Executive Officer.
Lyra: … I’m not-
Bon-Bon: He owns the corporation!
1) Near as I can tell, in a regular run, you tend to get them all in close succession, with either Duke’s Dear Freja or The Rotten being the longest stretch between any two. So far, Old Iron King was my first on NG and NG+, and Duke’s Dear Freja was my last.
Since you’re strictly offline, make sure you’re using soul boosting equipment when clearing enemies. That’ll help loads.
2) In here? Here like where? Oh well. That doesn’t sound at all foreboding. I wouldn’t worry.
3) No. Noooooowah. No. I have no intention of fighting that thing ever again. At least not without fire defense of around 900 or so.
And while impressive, he’s using the Vanquisher’s Seal from the Company of Champions. He’s actually hitting really hard.
Ribbon: You can’t be serious! You’re going to risk Tootsie winding up like… like that?!
Lyra: For the record, this is why I hate you.
Champagne: Ribbon, you love me, don’t you?
Ribbon: Ugh. Yes, but-
Champagne: Would you love me as much if our marriage had been prearranged?
Ribbon: … Uh-
Champagne: If we force Tootsie into this, she will hate it and resent us for the rest of her life. I’m confident that she will make the right decision. And that decision will be whatever she chooses. It is our place to guide her to a better future; not drag her kicking and screaming.
Ribbon: I… suppose so.
Lyra: How adult of you.
Ribbon: You are still to stay away from my daughter!
Champagne: Ah yes. Lyra. How is that bear friend of yours?
Lyra: We… actually haven’t spoken in a while…
Bon-Bon: You never told me that…
Champagne: Sorry to hear. When last we spoke I believe you were working in early education. I found that somewhat strange, considering how… crass your language can become. You must have considerable control over your lexicon.
Lyra: Well, yes. Of course.
Champagne: Be sure to exercise that control when in my daughter’s presence.
Ribbon: No!
Lyra: Sir, yessir!
Ribbon: I will not allow that wretched thing near my daughter!
Champagne: Bon-Bon, my apologies for the brevity of this visit. We should gather again soon. Perhaps during the holidays?
Bon-Bon: Certainly!
Ribbon: Are you listening to me?!
Champagne: We will take our leave for now. Well wishes.
Lyra: Have a good one!
Bon-Bon: Take care!
Ribbon: Are you ignoring me?!
Champagne: Of course not, my dear. Shall we talk about it on the way home?
[Door close]
Lyra: … Wait a minute. Wasn’t this supposed to be about Ribbon treating you better?
Bon-Bon: Let it go.
Champagne: Tootsie, have a seat.
Liza: Yes sir.
Champagne: Let me make one thing perfectly clear. Your mother and I will not support you financially forever. We couldn’t if we wanted to. And we don’t. We have meticulously plotted out your course, from education to business owner; president of a major floral production corporation. You have a very bright future ahead of you. Your mother and I have assured that.
Liza: Yes sir…
Champagne: But… None of that amounts to anything if it’s not what you want.
Liza: S-sir?
Champagne: You will not abandon the path we have set for you. Not yet. There are opportunities available now that cannot be wasted by indecision. You will continue your studies, as we have assigned, until you graduate from high school. After that, the future is yours to decide. The only thing I require is that you stand on your own four hooves. I will not have my only daughter scraping to make ends meet. Do you understand… Liza?
Liza: Yes sir! Thank you, daddy!
Champagne: I love you. Now run along and play.
Bon-Bon: … Picking out the asks for today?
Lyra: Well, I was gonna, but somepony sent me a video. I should probably watch it first. It’s a video game, so…
Bon-Bon: Right. I’ll go get a snack or something.
Lyra: Hmm… Unarmed. Must be using that ring…
Bon-Bon: Oh Celestia, he’s here!
Lyra: What? Who’s-?
Bon-Bon: Tootsie’s father!
Lyra: What?! What do we-?
Bon-Bon: Hello! Champagne! Ribbon! It’s good to see you! Welcome! Ah…
Liza: D-dad?
Champagne: Bon-Bon, I would like to speak with my daughter alone.
Bon-Bon: Of course. Lyra, come on.
Lyra: But, he can’t- This is our-
Bon-Bon: And-he-could-buy-it. Move-your-hooves.
Champagne: Dear, that includes you.
Ribbon: W-What?
Champagne: I believe you’ve already had time to speak with Tootsie.
Ribbon: I-… Alright.
[Door closes]
Lyra: … By your own husband.
Bon-Bon: Lyra!
Ribbon: You are filth.
Lyra: Get out of the way.
Ribbon: What are you-? Are you eavesdropping with your phone?
Lyra: Voice recognition program. You don’t want to see what they’re saying?
Ribbon: … Scoot over.
[video]
1) Yeah. I read that you can raise your fire defense so high that you’re immune to his breath attacks, but he’ll still kill you if he lands on you. I only won because somepony else knew the fight and locked him into the pattern while I just fired lightning arrows from a bow at a distance/stayed out of the way.
First run through I was a 40/40 dual Caestus build with enough intelligence to cast Soul Arrow as a ranged attack. I had heavy armor, a bunch of health, and just dodged everything I could.
NG+ I’m in the process of switching to some slightly lighter armor in order to have a wider range of weapons at the ready. Also I boosted my intelligence up and now use Soul Spears, which I can easily cast with my dual Blue Flames. But I only just got the four great souls so I still have a ways.
2) Maybe?
3) B: Yes, bottled liquids. That was obviously the only issue.
4) Well, we don’t want her to go. But at the same rate, something’s got to give.
5) I’m not nearly that creative. I’ve just been working on the same old same old. Don’t have anything posted about it yet, but I’m working on how the different weapons behave differently without there being a strict progression of one type being better than another.
Lyra: You lying, two-faced, disillusioned, irresponsible, ungrateful, overpriced piece of undisposable rubbish!
Ribbon: How dare you speak to me that way?! You’re-You’re nothing more than an utter waste upon civilized company!
Lyra: The most civilized company you’ve ever “embraced” was some dirty pony behind a Hoof and Hock!
Ribbon: Did you just-?!
Lyra: You bet I did!
Bon-Bon: Girls!
Ribbon: You rancid, disease-ridden vermin!
Bon-Bon: That’s enough! Ribbon, this is about you not appreciating the lengths I go through for you! And Lyra! What the heck?! I thought you were supposed to help!
Lyra: Sorry. I got carried away.
Ribbon: In a perfect world, you’d be carried away!
Lyra: What was that, you-?!
Bon-Bon: Stop it! Stop it! [Sigh] Ribbon, I’ve spent most of my life helping you. It wasn’t so long ago that you owed more money than you could afford to pay back. I know you haven’t forgotten what those days were like.
Ribbon: Of course not, Bonnie. You know I am forever grateful for your generosity. And I know it’s not just about the money, but the timing. That’s why I’ve been paying you to look after Tootsie.
Lyra: Instead of what? Expecting it to be done for free?
Ribbon: Instead of hiring a professional to work out of our home. Does she really need to be here for this?
Bon-Bon: Yes. And you shouldn’t need to hire anypony to help raise your own foal. At least not full time. She’s your responsibility. Lyra was right, you didn’t even know her age. That is not excusable.
Ribbon: I work. I study. And when I’m done I want some time to unwind. Champagne and I give Tootsie everything she could ever want. We’ve meticulously planned out every financial hurdle for her future. She will grow up to be twice as successful as I or you will ever be. I give her my all! Why should she need anything more?
Bon-Bon: Because your all is just money! She needs your time!
Ribbon: I don’t have time for time!
Lyra: Too busy sending innocent ponies to prison.
Ribbon: For your information, you uncouth peon, I am a Public Defender. I’m the one trying to keep poor ponies out of prison.
Lyra: So you’re defending criminals.
Ribbon: Insufferable! Depraved-!
Bon-Bon: Ribbon! Lyra, I swear to Celestia-!
Lyra: Alright! I’m sorry!
Bon-Bon: If you really feel that somepony should look after your child, then you need to be more appreciative. Not just throw money in my face.
Ribbon: I cared enough to go out of my way and search for somepony for you to spend your days with!
Lyra: That wasn’t for her! That was for you! You treat your own sister like an object to accessorize and boost your social standing!
Ribbon: That’s absurd!
Bon-Bon: But that’s exactly how I feel, Ribbon. You’re not helping me.
Ribbon: I’m trying to elevate you away from that… thing. She’s toxic! Even she knows it!
Bon-Bon: She’s my friend! She’s helped me more than you ever have! And she actually shows me she’s grateful!
Ribbon: I see. I’m sorry you feel that way, sister. However, this whole ordeal has proved to me just how toxic this environment is. I’m afraid Tootsie won’t be returning.
Lyra: Her name is Liza!
Ribbon: She is my daughter! I birthed her! I planned her future! And I will not hear of her referred to by such a… common name! Go fetch- Ugh, I’ll do it myself! Tootsie! Get your things we are leaving!
Liza: No!
Ribbon: Tootsie! H-how long have you-?
Liza: I listened to the whole thing! You’re not taking me away from my role model!
Ribbon: Role model? It’s you isn’t it?! You corrupted her with your ignorance! I told you to stay away from my-!
Liza: It’s Miss Cheerilee!
Ribbon: Who… Who is?
Bon-Bon: Her teacher.
Lyra: You’d know that if you were ever around.
Ribbon: Tootsie, my dear, don’t be ridiculous. What about your uncle?
Liza: I don’t want to grow flowers!
Ribbon: Bu-But your cutie mark! The flower farm! Your uncle is giving it to you when he retires! You’ll have your own flower named after you! You’ll be rich! A household name!
Liza: Miss Cheerilee says that cutie marks are open to interpretation. And that your job doesn’t have to match your cutie mark.
Ribbon: That’s preposterous!
Bon-Bon: Ribbon, your cutie mark is a bow! You’re an attorney!
Ribbon: Ah-… I… [Pause] We will discuss this at length with your father, when he has the time. For now I need you to-… [Pause] Very well. You may remain here for the moment. But don’t be surprised when your father comes around and drags you back home once he finds out. Tootsie, please behave. Bon-Bon, a good evening to you.
[Door close]
Lyra: That took a lot of guts, to stand up to your own mother.
Liza: [Sniff]
Bon-Bon: Oh, Liza. Come here. Shhh. She’ll come around.
[video]
Haha… I found the messages you sent. The ones I thought I answered. I never answered them.
I don’t know where they went, or how I missed them. Anyway…
Thank you, state of Michigan! This calls for a soda! … Oops.
—
In other news, I’ve received five notifications today saying I had a new message, only for nothing to be in my inbox. As of now all messages received have been answered. So, if you sent something and I haven’t answered it yet, I never got it.
Bon-Bon: It’s good to be back. Minuette’s place is nice, but it doesn’t really have the charm of home.
Lyra: Huh, yeah! I’d hate to ever have to leave this place! Ah haha…
Bon-Bon: … So, what now?
Lyra: … I don’t know. I still want to tell your sister off.
Bon-Bon: Please don’t.
Lyra: Bon-Bon, she has no respect for you. She can’t treat you like that!
Bon-Bon: Nothing you say is going to change that. It’s just going to make things more hostile.
Lyra: Have you ever tried? Have you ever tried pushing her back? All she does is manipulate and attack you! You’re more then in the right to attack her negligent flank back! She has responsibilities too! In fact, she has a huge one that she’s been shrugging off on you! She doesn’t even know how old her own daughter is!
Bon-Bon: She doesn’t plan. She doesn’t think ahead. It’s better that I do take care of Tootsie. She’d just screw it up.
Lyra: If that’s what you believe, then she needs to know that.
Bon-Bon: I don’t know…
Lyra: That’s why I’m going to help you.
Lyra: Bon-Bon, I’m sorry!
Bon-Bon: No, you had every right to be upset. I let my emotions get pent up and I took it out on you.
Lyra: No! I was so used to having full control of my tumblr that you posting in my absence scared me. Plus I was a little embarrassed…
Bon-Bon: What I said was deliberately in attempt to make you feel guilty, and it was wrong.
Lyra: And I was trying to make you feel bad! I was wrong too!
Minuette: Hey! That’s great! You were both wrong! Super! But can you do this somewhere else? I’m kinda with a patient right now.
Rose: Yeah! I don’t have all day!
Lyra: Sorry. Let’s go home.
Bon-Bon: Of course. Thank you, Minuette, for letting me spend the night.
Minuette: Sure thing, Bon-Bon! But no seriously, I have other patients after this.
Bon-Bon: Right, leaving now.
Rose: Finally.
Minuette: Now where were we?
[Drill revving up]
Rose: The horror!