Ask Lyra

Aug 22

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askcarrottop replied to your post: askcarrottop replied to your post: askcarrottop…
Anons don’t follow rules, you seem to be forgetting this.

I guess you need to travel around town with an adventurer team. Everypony knows that adventurers always go everywhere together! Even the grocers!

Anonymous asked: No, it is not true.

Oh yes. You’re all terrible lovers too, and penniless bums.

And you smell.

I think I’m enjoying this too much.

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askcarrottop replied to your post: askcarrottop replied to your post: Well, I’ve got…
That’s good against one or two anons, but say, 5? Wouldn’t work. They’d outnumber me.

Rule of RPGs, Carrot Top: Don’t try to fight them all at once, single a target out until they’re down!

Or, you know, you could be realistic and beat one, then use its body as a shield.

iamonlykidding-deactivated20150 asked: Don't go through with it. Anons are terrible at supporting a family.

I know, they’re liable to just up and disappear for days on end with no excuse.

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askcarrottop replied to your post: Well, I’ve got news for you! You are mine now! You belong to me!

This makes me realize that if a couple anons wanted to beat me up I’d be pretty defenseless without magic.

You’re a terrestrial pony, Carrot Top. Shatter their shins with your superior might. Or the chins!

Anonymous asked: Well, I've got news for you! You are mine now! You belong to me!

Spectacular.

I’m sure you won’t mind paying for my food, insurance, medical. Hey! Why don’t I just retire and stay at home all day on tumblr while you work for the both of us and still don’t get any! After all, I’m a magical unicorn, I could beat the poop out of you if you dare refuse any whimsy that happens to cross my mind!

I get the strangest sense that you didn’t think this through.

The waifu thing is unfunny enough. If you’re going to start making it a chore to respond to these, I’m just going to start deleting them.

The waifu thing is unfunny enough. If you’re going to start making it a chore to respond to these, I’m just going to start deleting them.

If I had a bit for every time I’ve had to censor an anon…

If I had a bit for every time I’ve had to censor an anon…

Anonymous asked: Are you going to help me now, or not?

I have no idea to what you refer…

Any pony out there that can just talk normal? Dialogs start at the beginning, not the middle.

Anonymous asked: Waifu?

I remember a time when I could just direct you to Twilight…

Anonymous asked: Me llamo T-Bone, la araña discoteca

Look, you know I only speak Unified Equestrian. Can’t you just ask in that language, or toss that through a translator?

Anonymous asked: What are you afraid of?

She stays alo~ne.

Never sheds a single tear~!

Edit: Too obscure?

ask-rainbow-scoots asked: He says: Where. Is. The library.

Oh.

I’m not very good at directions. I’m sure Twilight could get you there pretty fast!

Anonymous asked: I know your secret. You have been exposed.

Apparently you did not know about my latest technology to get the red out.

Anonymous asked: Donde. Esta. La biblioteca.

Uh…

What?