Anons don’t follow rules, you seem to be forgetting this.
I guess you need to travel around town with an adventurer team. Everypony knows that adventurers always go everywhere together! Even the grocers!
Anonymous asked: No, it is not true.
Oh yes. You’re all terrible lovers too, and penniless bums.
And you smell.
I think I’m enjoying this too much.
That’s good against one or two anons, but say, 5? Wouldn’t work. They’d outnumber me.
Rule of RPGs, Carrot Top: Don’t try to fight them all at once, single a target out until they’re down!
Or, you know, you could be realistic and beat one, then use its body as a shield.
iamonlykidding-deactivated20150 asked: Don't go through with it. Anons are terrible at supporting a family.
I know, they’re liable to just up and disappear for days on end with no excuse.
askcarrottop replied to your post: Well, I’ve got news for you! You are mine now! You belong to me!
This makes me realize that if a couple anons wanted to beat me up I’d be pretty defenseless without magic.
You’re a terrestrial pony, Carrot Top. Shatter their shins with your superior might. Or the chins!
Anonymous asked: Well, I've got news for you! You are mine now! You belong to me!
Spectacular.
I’m sure you won’t mind paying for my food, insurance, medical. Hey! Why don’t I just retire and stay at home all day on tumblr while you work for the both of us and still don’t get any! After all, I’m a magical unicorn, I could beat the poop out of you if you dare refuse any whimsy that happens to cross my mind!
I get the strangest sense that you didn’t think this through.
The waifu thing is unfunny enough. If you’re going to start making it a chore to respond to these, I’m just going to start deleting them.
If I had a bit for every time I’ve had to censor an anon…
Anonymous asked: Are you going to help me now, or not?
I have no idea to what you refer…
Any pony out there that can just talk normal? Dialogs start at the beginning, not the middle.
Anonymous asked: Waifu?
I remember a time when I could just direct you to Twilight…
Anonymous asked: Me llamo T-Bone, la araña discoteca
Look, you know I only speak Unified Equestrian. Can’t you just ask in that language, or toss that through a translator?
Anonymous asked: What are you afraid of?
She stays alo~ne.
Never sheds a single tear~!
Edit: Too obscure?
ask-rainbow-scoots asked: He says: Where. Is. The library.
Oh.
I’m not very good at directions. I’m sure Twilight could get you there pretty fast!
Anonymous asked: I know your secret. You have been exposed.
Apparently you did not know about my latest technology to get the red out.
Anonymous asked: Donde. Esta. La biblioteca.
Uh…
What?