Ribbon: Hello, Lyra. How’s it going, Lyra?
Lyra: Ribbon? B-
Ribbon: I know Bon-Bon isn’t here. My revenge is against you, not her.
Lyra: W-what?
Ribbon: It’s a funny little thing you run. Your blog. You don’t always say the nicest things on there, do you? Hmm? But maybe that was just me. So I got to thinking, ‘Gee, perhaps I’m being unfair. Maybe I should ask for a second opinion…‘ Don’t quite follow yet? Some ponies who might feel like your image reflects their own?
Lyra: No…
Ribbon: No?
Lyra: Please.
Ribbon: Please?
Lyra: I’m begging you!
Ribbon: It’s too late for begging.
Lyra: [Gasp]
Ribbon: You’ll go into work tomorrow to a pink slip! I only came over see the look on your face! That’s what you get for crossing-…
Lyra: [Sob]
Ribbon: That’s… not quite…
Lyra: [Crying, fading into the distance]
Ribbon: I don’t… You were supposed to be angry… It’s just some lousy job you hated… Isn’t it?
no shut up
Lyra: Ugh… I’m home…
Bon-Bon: Hi, Lyra!
Lyra: Hey, Bon-Bon…
Jacques: Bonsoir, Lyra.
Lyra: Hey, Ja-oh what the [omitted]…
Bon-Bon: Sit down and eat this.
Lyra: What is it?
Bon-Bon: It’s food. You put it in your mouth? I’m told sometimes you use a utensil to do this. … Well?
Lyra: I mean, it’s pretty good.
Bon-Bon: How good is pretty good?
Lyra: Not as good as last night.
Jacques: But of course.
Bon-Bon: But better than what you usually eat, right?
Lyra: Yeah, sure.
Bon-Bon: Jacques, tell the mare how much that cost to make.
Jacques: Three bits; as much as one of your microwavable freezer-burns.
Lyra: This? This only cost three bits?
Bon-Bon: Scaled down per portion, yes. We made more than just that. And in only twenty minutes.
Lyra: That’s… incredible.
Bon-Bon: That’s the mark of a real chef. When you have only the best ingredients, the food speaks for itself. It takes skill and experience to make do with less.
Jacques: Education and connections to cultivate as well.
Bon-Bon: This is what I wanted to show you. Economics. Not the best food, but for the cost? Well, you said it yourself: pretty good! This is my goal for you. I want you to be able to do this.
Lyra: I have just one question.
Bon-Bon: Yes?
Lyra: Who is this colt?!
Jacques: I am… Jacques.
And then you can’t get back to sleep until you remember what it was that you forgot.
Lyra: I don’t understand.
Bon-Bon: Why that was so much better than anything I’ve ever made? Because good food doesn’t just happen. It can’t be replicated, imitated, or mass-produced. Good food comes from good ingredients, and good ingredients require the best, natural environments to grow. That means they have to ship those ingredients from those environments all over the world.
Bon-Bon: But those good ingredients can still be divided into grades, and then the best quality within those grades. When you order an expensive pasta, you might be getting that year’s best tomatoes, but only some of that year’s best grains. Without grading? Can you imagine a subpar ingredient in an otherwise exquisite dish?
Bon-Bon: And as if that wasn’t complicated enough, it’s all on a timetable. “The longer it takes to reach your plate the more it loses its luster.” That best tomato will probably not be in its best condition by the time you order it. That’s why good food isn’t… you can’t just hold it in your hooves. It’s chance. A series of conditions. A circumstance. An experience.
Bon-Bon: That’s why it’s such a big industry. Why so much money is spent to harvest, test, grade, purchase- sometimes auction. Ship as quickly as possible, store and prepare as quickly as possible. Of course there’s a profit to be made, but it’s as much a service to the world as any other art. It can change you. And just like the first time you ever hear a song, it will never be the same.
Lyra: Ah… Actually I meant I don’t understand why Jacques came home with us.
Jacques: I will be your waiter for this evening.
Lyra: That’s alright. You can go home, Jacques.
Jacques: Oh, of course! After such a fine meal you wish to be alone together!
Lyra: You know what? Nevermind. Please stay Jacques. I don’t want you to go anywhere.
Jacques: Mé… ménage à trois?
Lyra: Okay now you can leave for real.
???: Ah! Bonnie! So good of you to finally grace us with your presence!
Tootsie: Hi, Jacques!
Jacques: Salut, Lady Liza!
Bon-Bon: It’s a pleasure to be served by you, Jacques. This is Lyra.
Jacques: The maiden of honor herself-!
Lyra: And while I hate to start us off on the wrong hoof, your face is entirely too close to my face.
Jacques: Je vous prie d'accepter mes excuses. I am Jacques and I will be your waiter for this evening.
Lyra: Nice to meet you Jacques.
Jacques: How may I begin your dining experience tonight?
Bon-Bon: Well Lyra, if you’re done gawking at the menu, I’ll be ordering for the both of us.
Lyra: I can order for myself!
Bon-Bon: Sure you can. Soon as I can trust you to not order something cheap.
Tootsie: What about me?
Bon-Bon: Just don’t make yourself sick.
Tootsie: Suh-wee~t!
Lyra: Wait a minute! That’s not fair! She can order for herself but I can’t?!
Bon-Bon: She knows what food tastes like.
Tootsie: Heehee!
Lyra: Bon-Bon. Psst. Bon-Bon!
Bon-Bon: I’m only sitting across from you, Lyra.
Lyra: We have to get out of here! This place is even more expensive than I thought!
Bon-Bon: I told you not to worry about it.
Lyra: Why are we even here? Most of crap on this menu is more expensive than a week’s groceries!
Bon-Bon: Because you will learn what good food tastes like if I literally have to shove it down your throat.
Lyra: I know what good food tastes like!
Bon-Bon: No. You know what passable food tastes like. You probably know what okay food tastes like. And you might’ve even had overpriced food. But there is no mistaking good food. And if you’d had it before you wouldn’t eat half of the slop you do with a grin.
Lyra: Bet me…
Bon-Bon: And unfortunately the only place in Ponyville that serves good food is on the pricier side. I consider it an investment in your culinary education.
Tootsie: Do I order from the cheap menu or the expensive menu?
Bon-Bon: Your mother will be covering you.
Tootsie: Sweet!
[video]
![sketchamagowza:
“Cuss Too Much
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Cuss Too Much
(Source: sketchamagowza)
Did you see?! What an amazing effect on top of an amazing performance! How did they do that?!
Bon-Bon: It was nice of your bosses to finally give you a Saturday off.
Lyra: You’d think it was the least they could do after forcing me to work on Nightmare Night, sick and throwing up. Last real day off I had was to visit the fillies and colts at the end of the school year in June. I practically had to chop off my hooves this time. The new company is pretty cruel.
Bon-Bon: Well, I’m just glad you’ll be here. And to see Countess Coloratura no less!
Lyra: Me too! I’m looking forward to tonight! She might not be my favorite, but she can sing really well under all that drama! Seems kinda silly to open with your headline act, though. But I guess she probably wouldn’t agree to less.
1) Bon-Bon: I don’t know. Where she comes from I hear they’re pretty lazy.
Lyra: What? Oh? Yeah, well… Heh heh, I forgot what I was going to say.
Bon-Bon: Haha!
3) Now I can finally call my tumblr a blog.
I won’t though.
4) .
When you hear a new song on the radio and you’re desperately trying to pick a notable phrase so you can google it later
(via nejamin)
1) I sincerely doubt it, but thanks!
2) Orange.
3) I don’t know. Bon-Bon won’t tell me ahead of time. She says she doesn’t want me to study for it. Which is silly. I don’t study.
4) If they fired you for being absent because of a psychological/magical disorder, I’m pretty sure you’d have grounds to sue. I could have asked about it, but the only lawyer I know isn’t to keen on me right now.
[video]