Ask Lyra

Feb 08

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1) As long as I could manage not to think of yesterday.

In time it’ll get shoved back in my mind and I won’t think about it much. As far as bad memories go, it makes me a little sick, but nothing vomit-inducing. I’ll deal.

2) Species is irrelevant. I haven’t met too many bears, but I’ve met tons of stallions.

Some were kind, some were cruel.

Some were strong, some were weak.

Some were Hell divers, some where false idol worshipers.

Some horded for themselves, some horded for others.

Some fought for what they believed in, some blindly followed the trend.

The only merits I’d ever judge Boscov on are the ones he’s set himself. He’s not perfect but he’d be hard to beat in any criteria.

He’s not the Jack of Trades, he’s the Ace of Spades.

Feb 07

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1) I think I’m allowed to say I don’t like taxidermy anon. Which is why I’ve stopped replying to him/her.

2) …

I mean, I’m sorry. I just don’t know what to tell you. I’m not a parent. Never had a father. You’re the only father I even know, if not in the traditional sense then the literal one.

Everything I’ve ever seen from television certainly doesn’t play to your favor early off. But if you work hard at it, eventually they’ll warm up to you. On the flip side, they could love you now and you’ll die in the first thirty minutes of the movie. Have I ever mentioned how dumb I thought The Lion King was?

From a psychological perspective, it’s not your fault. I think foals are just more connected to the mother than the father. Mares generally have softer features and voices while stallions are tougher and more intimidating.

But when they grow older, you don’t hear foals arguing about who’s mother could win in a fight either. And let me tell you, when those arguments get out of control, they will get genuinely upset at the notion that their father could possibly lose. There’s love there.

Either way, they should grow out of it eventually once they begin to understand reason.

3) Gonna decline. I only answer to her highness, Princess Celestia.

Going to assume you ponies can see the questions now. Thanks for letting me know of the problem! Previous posts about it have been removed to clean things up!

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krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: askgildagriffon replied to your post: Answers…
As long as you don’t blame me for stealing your heart.

That’s okay, I covered it in glitter.

You still haven’t got it all off your fur.

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askgildagriffon replied to your post: askgildagriffon replied to your post: Answers…
Wait Am I Allowed To Tell Other Ponies The Specific Details? Because If You Have A Problem With That There’s A Blog I Need To Close Down.

[Snort] [Snort]

[Inhale] I’d ask for a link, but I’m afraid you’d give me one!

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askgildagriffon replied to your post: Answers after the break, because Awesome…
So I’m Not Allowed To Imagine You And Boscov Sleeping Together Anymore.

Girl, you’re free to picture whatever you wanna imagine. I’m just saying reflect for a moment before you decide to tell me about it with specific details.

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krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: Answers after the break, because Awesome…
You stole my heart.

You gotta admit, though, it’s a very beautiful heart. Can you blame me?

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Answers after the break, because Awesome McAwesome-Socks showed me how to fix the problem!

Keep reading

Alright, so I got a bunch of questions, but since the page break function is still broken I don’t want to flood everypony’s dash with huge updates. Instead, I’m going to answer three questions at a time around every three hours until this backlog is cleared. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to do this automatically, so I gotta do it manually.

Okay? Okay.

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1) What’s the cutie mark for having a steady job look like?

2) There’s this elite unicorn division of the guard I wanted to join, but my magically ability just isn’t potent enough.

3) I’m delighted to hear that!

Feb 06

Page break is still broken. Sorry.

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1) I’ve answered this before. To add to that, I don’t like this question. It encompass everything I hated the most about my past. Everything from death to ponies who could only wish they’d died.

Further, this is one of those few “legitimate” questions that I hate so much that I’m liable to stop talking to somepony just for asking it.

2)

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Maybe I’ll try drawing a picture based on that when I get some time/in a better mood.

And no, that isn’t permission to ask about my day. I want to forget this day ever happened.

3) Is that supposed to mean something?

4) If they have access to human television to actually see the game, maybe.

5) I don’t drink coffee. I prefer soda.

6) Best dog with an unlimited ammunition revolver it can’t use, ever.

7) I’m not always excit- Oooo! I got an email that isn’t spam!

8) Before my time, unfortunately.

9) First time I ever saw him he was possessed by some kind of monster. Scared the poop outta me!

10) Try thinking of backup questions about things ponies wouldn’t normally ask and fall back on those when you’ve got nothing else at your disposal.

I’d give you some examples, but then I’d just get asked about them and that would defeat the purpose.

Feb 05

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1) Noted.

2) I’m sorry; I’m lashing out. I was just really hoping the Patriots would have won that game.

3) Yeah… Morals…

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1) Sit on the toilet.

Oh, and I read that if you bring your legs up closer to your chest it makes it easier on your bowels. Something about having to do with how animals squat when pooping if there isn’t a toilet around? I dunno.

2) Ha ha. I figured I get some slack for that. Not sure in what dimension baseball is a fast moving sport, but I could see the other two.

Mostly though, I was just trying to incite some kind of response. Everypony, you included, seems to do that to me all the time. Sorry, though. I suppose I overstepped my bounds.

3) It’d be a lot easier if I didn’t make so many mistakes. But thanks!

Edit:

ask-rainbow-scoots replied to your post: [redacted]yesrainbowdash replied to your post:…
[redacted]yesreainbowdash is a filly!

Yes, she made certain to let me know. Sorry about that!

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[redacted]yesrainbowdash replied to your post: [redacted]yesrainbowdash replied to your audio…
I’m so out of touch with the real world/athletics/news that I didn’t even realize the Super Bowl was today or who was playing, let alone watching it. But that’s all good to know! Since I couldn’t care less who wins, hope your prediction is right!

1) Become a callous, hateful monster. Care about no one, not even yourself. Become driven by a single desire, like revenge or money. And when the time comes, show no mercy.

Now that you know, avoid it at all costs. It will consume you and you will walk away with nothing.

2) I did not know that, no.

It’s not that hard to think of something interesting to say, is it?

3) And I answered everything because it wasn’t a burden. As it starts to become one, I question if I will continue.

4) Sorry, I looked her up, but I still have no idea who that is. I wasn’t really watching the halftime show.

5) But you’re a guy, aren’t you? Don’t all guys like football? I mean, the only reason I got into it was because of a few colts I would bet against in junior high. Never won any money…

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6) Heh, no kidding. It’s nice to see something positive like this.

I don’t deserve him, but I can’t let him go.

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[redacted]yesrainbowdash replied to your audio post: I didn’t make this, obviously. But it’s an…
I didn’t think you were big into sports, or do you just make a special exception for the Super Bowl? Or I’m completely wrong!

1) Pretty sure that’s just a human celebration.

2) I get nothing for almost two weeks, and then I get this? Main character has a giant monster/shadow barreling toward her. What am I supposed to do with this?

3)

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4) Despite my joking around when first asked about it, I actually like human Football and understand the game relatively well. Still, I generally only watch the Super Bowl for time reasons.

Let me tell you, I felt bad for the Patriots when they got choked with that safety. The entire first quarter looked like it was setting up for a grim, one-sided game. But did you see that last rush before the halftime? Holy cow!

I think this is gonna be a good one. Going to stand by my previous pick for the Patriots, though.

Didn’t have a whole lot of time to work on this.
Still, wow!

Didn’t have a whole lot of time to work on this.

Still, wow!

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1) I can’t even wish that anymore. I have responsibilities to the ponies I love.

Even if they let me go, I’d be afraid they’d be gone when I came back.

2) To be honest, I’m a little more interested in the game than the adverts. If anypony recalls, I made a prediction on who would win back when there were still four teams, and one of the ones I picked are playing tonight!

But yes! I’d love to! Think we can do it at Bon-Bon’s house, though? I can’t remember the last time I had homemade ice cream.

3) I don’t read the newspaper. I have an outside source that lets me know if anything particularly interesting is happening.

I heard an anon say that Rainbow Dash had stolen a book series from the library, but I think she just checked them out.

4) Then maybe I won’t anymore.

5) You want to go argue with somepony? Go send your asks to somepony else.

askapple-jack:
“ ((Hey Lyra, guess what I finally finished for you?
Sorry this took four months to get done. ._.’))
”
Thanks, Applejack! This makes me feel a lot better.
Edit: Isn’t this just super cool?

askapple-jack:

((Hey Lyra, guess what I finally finished for you? 

Sorry this took four months to get done. ._.’)) 

Thanks, Applejack! This makes me feel a lot better.

Edit: Isn’t this just super cool?

(Source: askapple-jack-blog)