I think it already is. I think you should come clean, or otherwise I’m gonna grill you on this until you’re well done. You can always just, you know, tell me privately if it’s so embarrassing.
Excuse me, Mister Cake, but I believe I’m allowed to find somepony attractive without having to stand trial. It doesn’t mean I want to go out with you or break up your marriage, but I just know it’s going to get spun around that way. Which is why I wanted to let it go.
Now can we drop it? I’m pretty sure my bearfriend doesn’t want to read about this any further.
I just, uh, what?
1) Hey! That could be fun! We’ve never gone shopping before. Considering all the cooking you do, I imagine you must know some good spots to pick up spices and foreign ingredients!
2) Twice?! Who said he was twice as old as me?! He’d be- He’d be [omitted]-near fifty* if he was twice as old as me!
3) No one! Nothing!
It was just… Uh…
Look, lets not make this weird…
…
er…
* In human years
1) Yes you did. Let me fast forward for you.
2) If the M stands for mother… then the D would stand for Dad? No… No.
I mean, Mr. Cake is a nice guy and all but-…
…
Why the [omitted] did my mind go there? Come on Lyra… Get it together, girl…
3) That’s why they’re so spicy.
Ew. Grossed myself out.
4) I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You can insult me however you wish, but you will not insult my friends on my page. And most certainly not Sweetie Belle or Tootsie.
1) We have one weird anon here lately.
2) Orange juice, but I remember those little grape juice boxes my primary and junior high school would give out being pretty good.
I’d take Apple Kiwi Strawberry, if you have it.
3) No. The sun shall never shine as brightly and water will never taste as crisp.
Less of sarcasm and more melodramatic. It was pretty painful to sit through.
1) Get a job. Alternately, get involved in anything that stretches beyond the time you presently have available and requires a task to be completed without fail. Should find that porn becomes a much lower priority when your free time is substantially reduced.
Remember, though; if it’s something you enjoy doing and it doesn’t harm anypony, it’s legitimacy as a form of entertainment isn’t reduced just because it’s not socially accepted. If you have an addiction, reduction without elimination is an option.
2)
3)
4) Congratulations, you’ve completely ruined the entire series for me. Thanks a lot.
1) Not following, sorry.
2) What do you think?
Nevermind. The answer is no.
3) There are no breaks… on the shove-my-hoof-up-your-[omitted] train!
4) That certainly is quite a ‘dour. Does this help at all, Mister Denton?
1) Great! I don’t know if it’s this summer mating thing or because the glue demand is lower, but I get to see him while he isn’t working more often!
2) Wouldn’t you know it.
3) What ponies do in their freetime, as long as it doesn’t hurt anypony, is none of my business.
4) Seeing as we wouldn’t know the difference, would it matter?
5) I’m afraid I can’t help you there. I was a thief and lived off of others, but I don’t recommend it.
6) Ordinarily I’d give you the whole government answer. But as far as the tax thing, you’re better off sprouting wings and/or a horn and becoming an alicorn. That law is one of the oldest ones in Equestria. It was created when the three races settled their differences and formed a united government. It can suck, certainly, but that’s the point. You can’t really escape it. Everypony is taxed, unless you somehow don’t own anything. And good luck proving that.
7) This is an excellent example why Macross/Robotech is better than Gundam. Gundam is just a lot of Dragon Ball Z energy levels and endless babbling mixed with horribly attempted emotion.
1) Oh yeah. That’s me. I know all there is to know about humans.
…
I will tell you, though. This is the largest pompadour I’ve ever seen.
2) You got me there. You go so far as to set up three-ring circuses just to try obviously guilty ponies and waste everypony’s time and government money on somepony you’re just going to kill anyway.
I don’t know if we have the death penalty or not. Like I said, you do something that bad, there is no trial.
1) Ugh… Trekkies…
Picard, if I have to pick one. Mister Shatner was a lot better later on, like after that series.
2) I’m not a huge Flank Zappa fan. But, hey, I’d never heard that one before. So, thanks for the lead.
3) I’d never heard of him before. That is a large horse.
4) Spike has a crush on Rarity?!
[Ba Dum Tsh]
Sweetie Belle, fillies and gentlecolts!
5) At least our correctional facilities have an actual chance of correcting somepony.
But all societies have their issues.
1) If you want me to throw up on your dinner.
2) Poor dear. You must have looked up humans by accident. Common mistake, I’m sure.
3) Ugh! No! You’re still not getting it. Very few ponies would consider themselves to be supporters of underage relationships; they just don’t understand what it looks like. There doesn’t even have to be any physical contact made for there to be psychological damages done.
1) Aw, what’s wrong? Afraid if you look it up on Google your mom might find out what you really do with your free time?
Like I said last time: you’re thinking of feline, not ursine.
2) Don’t misunderstand. Most ponies have a level-head and realize the horrid repercussions something like that can, and usually does, have. There’s just an alarming number that don’t understand the psychological/developmental trauma that might not even be visible. They either turn a blind eye or accept it as a natural development. And if they accept it, then you might hear them say, “But they’re so cute when they’re together.” Or worse, “Can’t you see they’re in love?”
1) Not half as big as the one you’ve got in your mouth right now.
2) Then who was…? Nevermind.
3) I bet you’re an absolute gentlecolt in real life.
4) Sure thing, husbando. Right after you finish mowing the backyard.
5) How about you get back to the office and make me some money to spend?
[video]
1) Are you back-talking your mother?
2) I have heard that once or twice… Alright, I’ll let you go for now.
3) Somepony obviously never watch Rugrats. They’re aliums.
4) Certainly! Seems I’ve suddenly freed up a lot of time I thought I’d be busy with…
5) Is… that good news?
1) Try going through letters to see if that triggers it? Possibly go to a place associated with what you’re trying to remember.
2) Wouldn’t do much good. I didn’t formulate my opinions over night and neither did he.
3) I had a question about this once before. I think they were just reaching out to try something different. Playing pretend, you know?
Then again, I was never “discorded” at all. Discord fixed my shattered hoof then threw me in a giant washing machine.
4) Oh. She’s nuts. Poor thing. Not that I don’t have some crazy theories I could throw out, but you gotta keep that stuff to yourself.