Ask Lyra

Jul 05

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1) Well, I got some plans tomorrow night. More on that later.

2) Week or two ago, I think. Possibly again tomorrow.

3) Do I really have to say no?

4) I decline.

5) No, that’s how you get kicked out of the arcade.

6) I’m happy that you’re happy.

7) I decline again.

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1) We’re still friends; we just don’t talk much these days. And that’s okay. Friends know they’re friends.

I still check her page from time to time. She seems happier.

2) I can’t even tell if that’s the right day.

3) The villains. You can’t brute force or awesome your way through magic. Jackie only had a possible advantage by using tactical misdirection.

4) … Garfield?

5) She’s the best teacher that we could hope fo~r! The perfect stallion you and I must fi~nd! One to really make her heart! So~oh~oar!

Sweetie sings some of the songs she and her friends have made up from time-to-time.

6) You and everypony else with hooves, it feels like. At least sometimes.

7) Cis? Is this really a thing? I assume “normal” was too offensive to trans.

mikedawson submitted: Pictures that were entirely too large so I had to resize them.

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Have these ever happened?

In order, no but her mustache looks like a candy wrapper. Followed sharply by DEAR SWEET CELESTIA NO! AND HER FORELEGS ARE JUST DANGLING THERE! WHY?!

Sources are here and here, respectively.

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1) You’d likely be surprised to find that no, she does not.

2) Not that I know of.

3) Aw. Can’t I be something cool like an Arch-vile? I mean, I understand if Cyberdemon is too much.

In truth, I’d probably be more like a regular Demon on Nightmare Mode. Maybe a Spectre if you want to give me a stealth advantage.

4) Higher than you.

5) An entire world wiped out because of some random pony’s selfish impatience toward young.

6) Would everypony like to stop talking about my butt? I’d like it if everypony decided to stop talking about my butt.

7) Sometimes. Less these days than I used to. Life doesn’t have to be anything special. It’s just life. Not like you’ll miss your own when it’s gone.

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1) My old friend Bon-Bon lived here and she agreed to give me a place to stay.

2) Can’t argue there!

3) I was gonna say Jackie wouldn’t stand a chance, but in an industrial supply factory? That depends on how fast his opponents catch on to his fighting style. If they start to destroy everything he’d be in trouble. If they don’t, Discord would be the only one able to keep up.

4) Language arts. Yeah, I know. I’ve made a lot of stupid decisions in my life.

5) Thank you! Happy 4th of July to you as well!

6) Considering the dog can neither consent to nor deny being augmented, it seems very cruel. But just like the last time I was asked about augmentation, if it’s to save a life I wouldn’t turn it down.

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1) Remember that button you pressed to get to the page that lets you ask me questions? Go back and read what that button says. Evidently you skipped over it.

2) And what would there be to celebrate if your human America never existed? Would there even be a human “internet” to have this conversation on? America, as a “superpower” has pushed and forced advancement in the rest of your world since its inception. Even things they had no direct tie to only came about because of their rapid progression and global saturation of technology.

I’m not saying it should be a different day or that you shouldn’t celebrate. I’m just saying it would be better to celebrate what your country has done with its freedom, not the simple position of it. From what I understand, a human can get on a tugboat and drift along in international waters and have freedom, but there’s not much you can do with it out there (at least, not without being hunted down).

3) I don’t think so. Probably an alternate dimension-type thing. Generally wards like that have been shutdown due to things like neglect and under-trained staff. The mentally ill usually live in dedicated wings of hospitals, if not with family.

4) I’m not.

5) I’m a former thief and current caregiver to a foal.; that’s a difficult question. I think I would rather be informed of wrongdoing by a whistle-blower now. There’s more at stake these days than my own life.

6) Is this more commentary, a joke, or are you somehow serious?

7) Totally legit.

Jul 04

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1) Nope. When Equestria was founded by the new-found peace of pegasus, earth, and unicorn ponies it was a land without society. The only species that inhabited it were globally considered either animals or monsters in that they possessed no societarian structure.

2) Tried is a good word for it, considering the only reason America won was due to Britain being forced to focus completely on the French Revolution happening right next door.

No, the mere act and date of your country winning its freedom holds no real significance. It’s what the nation has done in the centuries following that mattered.

3) It was no coincidence. I moved to Ponyville on the day before the Summer Sun Celebration, because of the Summer Sun Celebration. That marked the end of my temporary position as an ambient musician in Canterlot. Everything had already been prearranged. I had no idea Twilight was moving here too, and neither did she, until after the Nightmare Moon incident.

4) That name sounds suspicious.

5) If this is a reference, I’m not following.

6) You’re a hateful creature for sending something like this.

7) Never heard of the genre. I’ve seen metafictional elements used time after time in other works, but never one dedicated to it.

Unless you count Mystery Science Theater 3000.

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1) Nothin’ bea~ts the hobo li~fe! Stabbin’ folks with my ho~bo kni~fe!

2) This has been asked once before. And I never understood why anypony would ever think that.

3) Sonic, give it to them straight.

4) Sure! That makes more sense than celebrating the day a colony rebelled against their mother nation for suddenly expecting them to pay the same thing they expected from all their colonies, but formerly didn’t collect on because they didn’t believe said colony had anything substantial enough to give.

But, I mean, who would do that?

5) Oh no no no! I’m the type of person that puts in extra effort to aid the team, often at my own expense!

Admittedly though, since I’ve never played Gauntlet, I’d probably just die.

6) Roll what? I’ve only ever done one D&D fight.

Jul 03

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Have I ever RP’d on trumblr?

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krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: 1) What? I didn’t know that! 2) If somepony…
…I loved Matlock. I also loved his music, and his comedy.

1) Both Tootsie and I were once turned into stallions by a pony claiming to be “Princess Trollestia.” Didn’t care for that particular scenario.

2) I’ve never asked her about it, but I always imagined that Zecora’s rhyming is probably just as strange for zebras and not a reflection of their culture.

I mean, I’ve only ever heard her rhyme in Equestrian Standard.

3) That depends on your interests! I never joined one personally, but that’s because I had enough of a time balancing classwork and social life.

4) I know about subatomic particles, but I thought they were at least all known. I thought the problem was understanding how they worked in relation to forces like gravity, among other things.

5) I thought he and Mister Knotts worked great together, and he was funny in Spy Hard! He was a great overall character actor.

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1) What? I didn’t know that!

2) If somepony managed to invent a cure for cancer, there’d still be other ponies that would put a negative spin on it.

I’m not even going to bother defending myself any further since you’d just spin that around too.

3) I used to watch it (King of the Hill) back when it started airing, but I just don’t watch as much television as I used to.

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1) Nope.

Unless you count taking care of a foal (occasionally two), updating my tumblr, interests in magic, humanity, and tabletop mechanics, socializing with my roommate and her niece, being in a long-term romantic relationship, and anything else I’ve forgot to mention.

But I wouldn’t. I’m a pretty one-dimensional character.

2) Yes, but I’d never heard of websites like those. It sounds interesting, but my skills as a writer don’t really reflect my skills as a researcher. While writing is easy for me, researching is a long and tedious process.

I’m presently waiting on a reply about a possible interview. I’ve already been pre-screened and am waiting for my official transcripts to get sent through. If nothing becomes of it, I’ll certainly keep this in mind. Thanks!

3) If you mean why do I post multiple asks at once, it’s to save space on both my page and the dashboards of everypony following me. If you mean why are they specifically lined up like that, well- that’s how they come to me! Nine times out of ten what I post is just a cropped picture of exactly what I see when I go to my askbox.

4) You made an account specifically for this punchline. Now that’s dedication.

5 & 6) Thank you!

7) Me too. Here’s my favorite gif in all the internet.

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So awesome!

Jul 02

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1) Social satire?

2) You tried to turn me into a Big Beached Whale?!

3) Well… Uh…

4) Doing it their whole lives you say?

This has been a very King of the Hill AskLyra.

riftryu:
“ asklyra:
“ Ho~ly crap! Raziel pony!
Why did I have to already order my Nightmare Night costume?!
”
Oh hey, I drew this travesty :). Glad you liked it!
”
I love Raziel and I love this picture! Thank you so much for drawing it!

riftryu:

asklyra:

Ho~ly crap! Raziel pony!

Why did I have to already order my Nightmare Night costume?!

Oh hey, I drew this travesty :). Glad you liked it!

I love Raziel and I love this picture! Thank you so much for drawing it!

(via riftist)

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ask-twilight replied to your post: 1) You’re not supposed to use two condoms. The…
They do have female condoms.

1) I thought the part after you took two steps forward with me on your back and fell flat on your face was pretty funny. Sorry again for laughing, but I did warn you about the weight several times.

Humans are kinda weak. It’s like they have difficulty even lifting their own weight or something.

2) How about I turn you into a newt? Or you know, any of the other things I could do as a witch to defend myself. There’s a reason why a “witch hunt” is flat-out stupid while a “wild goose chase” is only pointless.

3) Oh absolutely. Things have been going so well, it’s high time I did something idiotic and [omitted] it all up to [omitted] like a stupid son-of-a-[omitted].

I swear, it’s like you ponies want me to be miserable.

4) What a terrible name.

5) I like jumping!

6) The potential for being trampled, I would think.

7) Nah. That doesn’t sound like her. She’s usually pretty level-headed. Although, she is the sort of pony that the saying “Hell hath no fury like that of a mare scorned” came from.

8) Huh. You’d think I’d have noticed something like that in a drug store by now.