Ask Lyra

Aug 18

CYOA #88

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Fortunately you and your friends already did pick up the jade screws, mostly for historic value. At least that’s why you did. You mention their possible use as a weapon and are met with nods of acceptance.

The 6 Jade Screws are given to Princess. As a unicorn, she would best be able to launch the screws as a projectile. She puts them away in one of her saddlebags for now. After all, she’s always carrying around that Heavy Mace with her magic. Plus the Helmet and all that other stuff she’s carrying. It’s a wonder she isn’t more fatigued.

You seem to be having a hard time focusing. Even though your life is possibly in danger, you can’t seem to stop daydreaming. It’s very distracting.

While you try to gather your thoughts, you ask the others what to do. Amy mentions that balcony on the second floor you saw when you looked up in the foyer. If need be, she could help everypony down to escape out the front door if the group went upstairs. Considering you’re being chased, going up the stairs sounds like a pretty good idea.

While crossing the hallway to reach the stairs, you find additional paths splitting off to either side of the stairway’s base; forming yet another T-intersection. However, the stairs are located in an opened up space and you’re currently sitting ducks if something happened to round a corner, so you quickly lead the group upstairs.

Uh Oh… Looks like you all forgot water vapor rises. That balcony must have acted like a funnel for the fog. It’s so thick in front of you that you can barely see anything! Princess swears and scolds you for leaving the front door open.

You can make out that there’s three paths from the top of the stairs; straight, left, and right. Possibly with more rooms down each.

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1) Me? Lie? Don’t be ridiculous. I never lie! That or I’m rarely caught in a lie. I forgot which lie I was going with.

Also, hello! It’s good to hear from you! Hope you’re well!

2) Drunk Sweetie Belle, clearly. Fear of the unknown is usually greater than reality.

You know, because that’s never happened before.

3) I see! Well I’m glad to hear you’re getting on well here, Hulk! I hope you can get home and see your friends soon!

4) It sure is.

5) Not really. If what I read is right, the human USD used to be worth a lot more. It’s just that our present-day currency is stronger than yours in most cases outside of food (which is the center of our economy and is extremely expensive).

I have to admit, though, this whole bit-fraction system that you humans use could be handy in a few situations. Though why you’d want to buy, for example only one apple, I’ve no idea.

Either way I have heard talk lately about possible reform to our legal tender, but I’m not holding my breath.

6) EL EM AHE OH! NOOB! With twenty-six exclamation marks in back of it! (I wonder how close I got to the actual quote. I tried to find it, but it took too long.)

Edit: Also, I’m finally caught up with questions! Going to try to update the CYOA tomorrow! (I’m so sorry. I know it’s been forever.)

Aug 17

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1) Yeah, sorry about that. Just been, you know, doing stuff all day.

2) I think so.

3) You and at least 972 other ponies, buddy.

4) Done. Now what?

5) Oh no. Thanks, Hulk, but everything is perfectly fine over here!

6) My fanny is placed in the most central part of my chair. So no.

7) The shadow what-now?

8) It was sort of funny at first, but it went on too long (also language warning).

9) Ho ho! A classic!

Aug 16

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1) Thank you! I truly appreciate it!

2) We don’t have “handguns.”

3) If it’s an awful thing, why do you want to learn more about it? Just leave well enough alone for now. It’s one of those things that are irrelevant unless you know what they are.

4) Did I just fall into an episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog?

5) Well that ruled.

6) The marriage one has nothing to do with security. It was supposed to help force cultural integration. I completely agree with you, though. But it’s not like I can do anything to change it.

Aug 15

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1) Raggle Fraggle.

2) Uh… I don’t think you need to put “very strange” at the beginning of that question.

3) Eh. Not really a huge fan of chips.

4) Sure. Shoot.

5) I knew I’d get a question like this…

All things have conditions. But when you trust somepony enough, you trust them not to break those conditions. For example, I know Boscov would never intentionally hurt anypony that didn’t deserve it.

It might not technically be unconditional, but the end result is the same. I love him and there’s nothing he could ever reasonably do to make me stop.

6) My two favorites are Don’t Stop Me Now and Some Day One Day, but I’d still consider the former to be overrated.

Aug 14

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1) Why would anypony spend money on that?

2) I don’t much care for it myself, for obvious reasons.

3) What if it’s the other way around? What if the games are really made in Equestria and localized for you humans with new models because the companies realized the majority of your world wouldn’t accept ponies as their relatable main characters? Hmm?

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4) Nah. I just say pony a lot. Pony this, pony that. The MMO I play is called City of Heroes, not City of Ponies. I mean, I even play on a human server (Protector, not Ponytector)!

5) Back when I worked as an ambonic musician in Canterlot. A position which no longer exists.

6) Oh. No, I hadn’t heard of that. Is that band even still around?

7) Which law were we talking about now? The name one? The marriage one?

[video]

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1) Fine. Next time I level up I’ll put some points into wifery. Happy?

2) And it never gets old.

3) Can a pony even be a brony?

4) I’ve never put much thought into it. I’m Equestrian.

How about George Washington?

5) Not to visit, no. Beautiful city, but past experiences sort of hinder my personal enjoyment.

6) I’m terrified.

7) She’s not my adopted daughter and I’d feel about a five hundredth as bad as you would if all of your computers and backups exploded right now.

Aug 13

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krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: I think I first met him when he first made a…
I love you, Lyra.

1) I beg your pardon?

2) Have you ever lived in a world with shapeshifters, mind control, and body riders?

3) My favorite hero from the Deus Ex series.

4) I’d implore them to ask!

5) Of course not! You go right ahead!

6) I’m afraid not. I’d like to one day.

7) Let’s keep the human politics out of my tumblr, okay?

8) I love you too.

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I think I first met him when he first made a tumblr. I was a little unnerved, but I gave him a chance and he turned out to be a nice bear. Until he was possessed by something wicked, that is. He was terrifying! He looked like a demon! I don’t remember how, but somepony reversed that and he went back to normal.

But I’d read what he’d say and occasionally we’d talk. I think we first formally met at a party or two. I know he helped look for Sweetie when she ran away. He slowly became a friend.

But occasionally somepony would ask him a question on tumblr about having a crush on somepony and I thought “There’s no way. Absolutely no way.” But the more I rolled it around in my head, the more it seemed to make sense. I thought about just leaving it alone, but I sat down and asked myself, “What does this really mean?”

“A bear has a crush on me. Is this a bad thing?” I had no reason to mind. He’s always been a sweetheart to me. I had went on a date with somepony else not long before hoof, but he was always really busy and it didn’t seem to be going anywhere.

“Would this work… physically?” I had to look up some stuff I never thought I’d have to look up to answer that. Measure and calculate some things that almost seem comical at this point.

“If it doesn’t work out, could we still be friends?” Admittedly he doesn’t always come off that way, but for the most part he’s more of the calm, logical-type. It’s a good possibility we’d be friends even if we couldn’t be a couple.

“Is it really worth a shot? Is there any reason why trying would be a bad idea?” I could think of only one or two, and I think I remember asking them when I first confronted him about a date. Which is what happened next- I just asked him if I was the pony he had a crush on and he said yes. Everything else just grew after that night. Slow at first, but here we are today.

It’s strange thinking about it now. I don’t know the exact date, but it’s coming on a year now since we became a couple. … So much has happened and yet I’m still left wondering where all the time has gone.

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1) Ye~s?

2) Oh! Sorry. I know what you’re talking about now. No, I haven’t played it. It does look interesting, though.

3) Just Gilda.

4) If you’re so curious, look it up and split the difference.

I recommend checking more than one source, though.

5) Part of really trusting somepony, is trusting what they would and would not do. Princess Celestia would never do something like that.

6) Any marriage that could legally take place in Equestria is recognized by Equestrian law. Those that couldn’t, aren’t.

Aug 12

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1) If I had the money to spare, I’d help you out for that dance alone. But I don’t. Sorry.

2) Unfertilized eggs doesn’t hurt anypony.

3) ‘Cause my team’s stats aren’t that high and it’s one of those bills you’re not going to pass without fighting the whole assembly over.

4) Nah.

5) Nothing I’ve ever been taught has pointed to it being real. It’s more like- when you’re excited and you want to get up and dance, or when you’re nervous you might pace around. Like hoof-tapping to music. It can be involuntary, but when you’re aware it’s completely controllable.

I mean, if it were real, pegasus would all have to be trained like jedis or risk injury or death while flying by just having their minds wonder.

6) Not really. I mean, I know some Lyra’s have a rivalry with an Octavia, but my Octavia is way out of my league.

She’s also a bit older than I am. Not by a lot, but I heard her preform before I ever really did.

7) No; I don’t think I’d ever want to either. I like games, I’d probably be considered a “gamer,” but I don’t care for the gaming community at large.

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1) I think you accidentally the whole “be.”

But yeah, I imagine so.

2) I guess I kinda go in and out of phases. I like SRPGs, but sometimes I get in a FPS mood, or an adventure mood, or like a buildy-type mood.

To date, I think I’ve played City of Ponies more than anything else. That’s sort of an Action RPG with SRPG-style character customization.

3) Heaven or Hell; Duel; Let’s rock?

4) They do not. That is purely a brony phenomenon.

5) Maybe if I was the only pony with a lyre cutie mark I’d be the best.

6) Possibly. Sweetie goes and spends time with her now and again.

7) Do song lyrics count?

Aug 11

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1) Is… I-is that a thing?

2) No more likely than your average pony.

3) From what I’ve seen, it’s a lot like your human American Judicial system. Only the princesses can “veto” something and shoot it down completely.

Not that they would in this particular instance.

4) Great! I’ll see you next weekend, Mister York!

Also, I’m slowly getting through my messages, but I’ll get to your other question as soon as I can.

5) My computer is still broken, so I can’t safely record anything right now. But I had already done a recording of Sweetie Belle’s version of Hush Now Quiet Now, if that would do.

6) I haven’t. Heard about it for a little bit, then nothing. Wasn’t that the short artsy game that was being retailed for some ridiculous amount of money?

7) Invite a flying device? You mean invent?

Those sound… interesting. But I’d rather just do real normal things, like argue over the DVR and head to her work and eat lunch with her.

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jc-hoofton reblogged your post: 1) I don’t know. Seems to be a popular…

It’s kind of true. I’d say you’re a lot more open than most ponies would expect you to be. But I guess to a guy like me, everybody seems open.

1) I wonder.

2) Uh huh…

3) No. Please teach me how to hide the horn on my head.

4) I have no idea what you’re referring to. Sorry.

5) Yes! Thank you!

6) Was that me? I don’t recall.

7) I don’t think so. At least not that I know of.

8) I’ll bet things seem a lot more obvious when you only know half the story.