Ask Lyra
Month
You never call! Are you eating enough vegetables? Where’s my grandkids? Other things mothers say in shows and video games!
But how ya doin’, friendo? Still listin’ to jazz and taking shots at antiquated social conventions? Scare any Youtubers lately?
Lyra: Alright, you ready?
Bon-Bon: Not… really. How are you supposed to hold this thing?
Lyra: Like this!
Bon-Bon: Oh, okay.
Lyra: Alright, so these two are your attack buttons.
Bon-Bon: What’s the difference?
Lyra: This is for your basic attacks and this is for your specials. You press this one a bunch to do your basic combo, but you can press this one in the middle of a combo to do a special move. You can also just press it whenever, usually to activate some character-specific gimmick. Oh! But sometimes you have to press it a bunch too. Both by itself and in the middle of a combo. And other times you’ll press it once, and then mash the basic one. Then you press this button to dodge, but hold it to dodge and then go into a sprint. Then you have this button that activates your super special move, if you have a full meter. I usually use it to counter an enemy if-
Bon-Bon: W-which meter?
Lyra: This one! But each notch represents a separate charge for use. Then you just have your secondary weapons, your spirit focus, your lock-on, and your block button, and that’s-… Where you goin’? Bon-Bon! It’s a simple button-masher, I swear! [Pause] Ugh. Alright, Liza.
Tootsie: You know my conditions.
Lyra: Bu… but I want to play as Sheik for once!
Tootsie: You can be Toon Link.
Lyra: Blugh!
Lyra: He… [Shutter] He was an undercover guard… When I turned him in, I blew his cover. There were tons of arrests, but he said he had almost traced the source… And I ruined everything…
Bon-Bon: Lyra… I…
Lyra: He was furious. Said he never loved me. That it was all part of the act. That he secretly hated me. I don’t know how much of it was true and how much was just anger, but it hurt… It… It never stopped hurting. [Pause] And I failed. I failed Princess Celestia again. Took another 6 months before they stopped the drug trade, and however many ponies died along the away. Because of me.
Bon-Bon: It… It wasn’t your…
Lyra: After that was when I got the job
working on the castle grounds… Sometimes I wondered if it was just to
keep me out of the way.
Bon-Bon: Princess Celestia wouldn’t… She couldn’t have blamed you.
Lyra: I spent all my bits getting drunk. I wanted to forget everything. Everything that happened; everything I was- If I could… If I could just be somepony else… It didn’t work…
Bon-Bon: That was when…
Lyra: I’m still alive, but I can’t speak to her. I don’t deserve to. Any social event she’s at I make it a point to avoid her. Whenever I’m involved I just make things worse for her…
Bon-Bon: And how do you think that makes her feel? Avoiding her, I mean.
Lyra: Relieved?
Bon-Bon: Relieved… Does that sound like Princess Celestia? Look, I can’t speak on behalf of the princess… but I’m gonna! Princess Celestia loves you! You may not have believed in yourself, but all those things you said to that imposter were true. I’m sorry about what happened, but I can’t believe you allowed this to stand between you two! You need to reunite. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but this… This can’t end like this. And I know she wouldn’t want it to…
Bon-Bon: Hey, Lyra.
[Pause]
Lyra: Hey, Bon-Bon.
Bon-Bon: We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.
[Pause]
Lyra: So… How was the play?
Bon-Bon: I didn’t go. I caught Raindrops after the show. She said Princess Celestia wasn’t even in it. She was behind-the-scenes working stage direction. Said it was good, though.
Lyra: I’m sorry…
Bon-Bon: Raindrops is the one you should be apologizing to. You never promised me you were going to be there. [Pause] I get it. It’s one of those “complicated things”. No use in even asking, so I won’t.
Lyra: I just… I don’t deserve to be around her…
Bon-Bon: Why? Princess Celestia raises the sun for everypony, not just you.
Lyra: It’s not the same.
Bon-Bon: Why? Without her none of us would be here. All of us owe our lives to her, not just you.
Lyra: It’s more personal than that.
Bon-Bon: Why? Because she gave you a place to stay? Your actions contributed to the eventual end of the gangs in Canterlot! You can’t seriously believe you owe anything! You spoke out and turned in your own coltfriend! [Long Pause] That was another lie… wasn’t it?
Lyra: I mean, you’re going, right?
Raindrops: Oh absolutely! I can’t wait to see Princess Celestia on stage. And… Um…
Lyra: You’re leanin’ in kinda close there-
Raindrops: I’ll actually be there on official Wonderbolt business, watching over the Princess. Shhh~…
Lyra: Oh, okay.
Raindrops: I bet you’re so excited! This must be a big deal for you!
Lyra: Eh heh heh… Ah W-why would…? [Pause] Why would it be a big deal to me specifically?
Raindrops: Oh… I don’t know… I always got the impression that Princess Celestia meant a lot to you. She helped you or something, right?
Lyra: Yeah… Kinda…
Raindrops: You’re going to be there though for the play, aren’t you?
Lyra: Eh-I… Y-eah! Of course!
Raindrops: Oh good! I’ll try to find you so we can sit together. It’ll be nice to talk to Bon-Bon some more, too. I don’t think we get to talk enough these days.
Lyra: Hey Bon-Bon.
[Pause]
Lyra: Hu… How’s it-?
Bon-Bon: You haven’t heard.
Lyra: Heard wha-?
Bon-Bon: Princess Celestia- No… Princess Twilight’s friendship school is putting on a play. It- Oh, in Ponyville. It’s going to be about how Princess Celestia first rose the sun. And THE REAL DANGED PRINCESS CELESTIA IS GOING TO PLAY HERSELF!
[Pause]
Bon-Bon: If you manage to pick your jaw up off the floor in the next hour, I could use some things from the market before it closes.
[Long Pause]