Ask Lyra

Bon-Bon: I have made a terrible mistake…

Lyra: Haha! Wow! Is that off-season cider?! Non-alcoholic, I assume.

Bon-Bon: Well, of course. What do you take me for?

Lyra: Clearly “a hypocrite” would be asking too much. How about, “a pony“?

Bon-Bon: Why in Equestria did I hire Twist? I’ve never had an employee before! What do I do if she messes up?! I could never discipline her, let alone fire her! She’s just a filly, and she’s my friend! I taught her for a year! She looked up to me! It would crush her!

Lyra: Did she do anything wrong today?
Bon-Bon: Yes! Well, no. I don’t know!

Lyra: … Should I as-?
Bon-Bon: I returned to the shop to show Twist how to close and went into the back. I noticed a container of cinnamon misplaced. I asked Twist about it and she said her hooves were full carrying the cinnamon rock candy she made.

Lyra: … This is over something stupid, isn’t it?
Bon-Bon: She’s not supposed to be cooking without me!
Lyra: Alright alright! Did you tell her that?

Bon-Bon: I was about to… But she said she was replacing the supply that got bought out, just like I’d do it. And I tasted it, and it was just like I make it. So… So I don’t know!

Lyra: Not used to trusting somepony else, are you?

Bon-Bon: As long as I do it I know it’s done right.

Lyra: This will be a great learning experience for you then! Or the straw that breaks the pony’s back. One of the two, I’m sure.

Bon-Bon: So, that’s the offer… What do you think?

Twist: I think that’th a pretty big deal…

Bon-Bon: Yes… But…?

Twist: Ah-ah! Butt’th are for thitting, Mth. Bon-Bon. And I’d be happy to acthept!

Bon-Bon: You are?! That’s great! I mean, for you. I mean, thank you!

Twist: Of courthe! How could I thay no?

Bon-Bon: Now you understand this is serious business. You can’t just leave for no reason or not show up-
Twist: Of courthe, Mth. Bon-Bon.

Bon-Bon: I’m going to be scheduling things with your presence in mind-
Twist: Of courthe, Mth. Bon-Bon.

Bon-Bon: If you get sick or- heavens forbid- hurt, you may have to come in anyway until I can relieve you. U-unless it’s serious-!
Twist: Of courthe, Mth. Bon-Bon.

Bon-Bon: And we’re still going to have to figure out something once school starts back up-
Twist: Oh Mth. Bon-Bon! Of courthe!

Bon-Bon: Fantastic! Can you start tomorrow?

Twist: I had planned to thtop by anyway! I’ll be here with bellth on!

Bon-Bon: Oh Twist, you’re the best! … But don’t let it go to your head.

Twist: Yeth, Mth. Bon-Bon.

1) I’m just saying, all this mention of fire kinda makes you sound like a burnout. Or an arsonist.

2) I’ll admit, after I read about what this means, it was kinda funny in a perverted way.

But, I mean, Jefferson Davis was no Nero. Why are you expecting me to know who this random American was? Forget your audience?

Also, spoilers, I don’t think things ended well for the south.

3) Sure! You lay down flat and I’ll throw a bowling ball at you.

4) I wore a pair of pants once, for a Nightmare Night costume. And even then they weren’t jeans. The line just doesn’t work; the cultural divide is too great.

5) I’ve been giving you the cold shoulder all night, haven’t I? Guess that makes me too cool for you.

Whenever an obviously pornographic blog follows me, I always feel compelled to check it anyway. You know, maybe it’s a joke! I mean, this one is just too obvious. Maybe it’s just one of my followers having a laugh!

I am always disappointed.

1) Hold on, I’m not caught up on my US history. Let’s see what Wikipedia has to say…

“The designation of the period by historians as one of good feelings is often conveyed with irony or skepticism, as the history of the era was one in which the political atmosphere was strained and divisive, especially among factions within the Monroe administration and the Republican Party.“

Doesn’t really speak volumes if that’s what you’re aiming for.

2) I’d pick DNA, Do Not Annoy.

3) This isn’t a pickup line. It’s an ice breaker, but not a pickup line.

4) This one I like. You’re still full of hot air, though. So go catch a breeze and drift on out of here.

5) Aw, so close. I’m actually Unobtainium because you don’t have a chance.

No! It’s okay. I mean, I wouldn’t get sad if I didn’t still care for him. I don’t want to forget about him… and I don’t want ponies to act like he didn’t happen.

It didn’t work out. I know we both tried, but we grew apart. There was no big fight and we didn’t split up on unfavorable terms. I mean, we hardly ever fought at all. There were a few times, and I won’t pretend they were small or insignificant. But we got through those.

We both thought it was meant to be, but… it just couldn’t stand up to time…

Life caught up to the both of us and… we were just so busy… Sometimes we didn’t talk for days or weeks. Then I turned around and… a whole year had passed…

[Sniff] … Part of me wishes we could have got married. But part of me is glad we didn’t. Not glad… terrified that if we had, this still would have happened. And things between us would have ended much worse. At least this way I can always love him and look back fondly on the time we shared.

… I’ve never mentioned this before… but shortly after we broke up, they changed the laws on interspecies marriage… Krastos and I… We could have… it just wasn’t meant to be…

1) Absolutely not. But absolutely fantastic singer!

2) Okay… I don’t really have a rejection line for this. Why would you want somepony, as their first impression, to associate you with a tragedy that carries a death toll in the triple digits? “What? Too soon?” That’s not what I’m saying here, playa. I’m saying there are lasting psychological bonds formed during a first impression and you don’t want that muddled with the kind of negative emotions associated with a historical loss of life, civilian life no less. It’s just not a good line. I’m sorry.

3) This one’s clever! But you’re a little too basic for me.

4) I hope so!

5) Don’t worry about it! You described it, I knew what I was getting into.

I hadn’t heard it before. But artists of every medium have been making work of a similar subject matter for a very long time. I mean, the song basically summarizes the entire punk movement, albeit in a more accept yourself pop-tone: We don’t need you. We didn’t ask for your input. We will live our lives and carve our own path. To that end, while not as prominent as romance and the like, I don’t consider the song as impactful, or (and I feel the word is rightfully deserved) revolutionary as Here was for speaking the unspoken and giving voice to those without.

Of course, it’s still a fantastic song! And by no means am I saying it doesn’t live up to Alessia Cara‘s previous work. Her voice, enunciation, and lyrical prowess are every bit as rich. She sings with such conviction and weaves an incredible tapestry! I’m especially fond of, “We brought our drum and this is how we dance.” Completely unapologetic in its delivery. A steadfast statement. Neither seeking nor even acknowledging acceptance. “We have no apologies for being.”  Her take on the subject is a fantastic entry and certainly worth listening to more than once!

And while we’re on the subject of music, that song you reblogged recently, What’s It Gonna Be by Shura? Wonderful! Simple love-style song but I love the 80′s synth vibe! I can totally picture, like, Whitney Houston singing the same song while walking down a set of multi-colored hallways.

Tagged by: @allgreymatters​​

Rules: “Answer the questions in a new post and tag 20 like maybe one or two blogs you would like to get to know better.”

Nickname: Technically, Lyra is my nickname. My real name is Liora.
Star sign: Aries!
Height: Like 4? 4 feet? Am I supposed to measure to my shoulders or my head? Should I stand on two legs?
Time right now: 1:49 PM, meaning this took me an hour. Why am I so slow?!
Last thing you googled: Somepony I follow mentioned something called ME!ME!ME! so I Googled that. It was explicit, graphic, and above all, incredibly gory and violent. I don’t recommend it (and am not linking to it).
Favorite music artist: Grave Digger! I have never heard a single song by them that I didn’t like. Though admittedly I haven’t heard all of their work.
Song stuck in your head: Vitamin String Quartet’s cover of Meant to Live
Last movie you watched: The Force Awakens, I guess. I don’t watch very many movies.
Last TV show you watched: Steven Universe, Hit the Diamond. Or, “The Baseball Anime Episode.”
What are you wearing right now: A hair band. It’s kinda hot and I was trying to clean up a little.
When did you create your blog?: July 8th! My five year Tumblrversary is next month!
What kind of stuff do you post?: Answers to questions, conversations with friends, sometimes music or video game related stuff, occasionally pictures I’ve taken or had taken of me. Oh! Or had drawn of me!
Do you have other blogs?: One, yes! E-Quest-Ria, which I don’t talk about much since even after all this time it’s so early in development. I think about it a lot, but I don’t spent a whole lot of time physically writing/typing/organizing/calculating/balancing it. Oh, it’s a custom pen and paper system/setting. Probably should have mentioned that first.
Do you get asks on a regular basis?: Certainly not like I used to. That’s why I don’t post every day anymore.
Why did you choose your URL?: I was following a format by the long-since-closed askapplebloom. That is to say, this is an ask blog, and I am Lyra! It’s pretty rudimentary.

Tagging: Well, @phoenixswift already did something similar. I’m pretty sure @iamonlykidding has already done this. @soundofseclusion and @benjamin-note have probably already done this or something similar. If any of you want to do this though, you know, go ahead.

@zero-width-space? I don’t think you’ve got something like this recently. You know, if you wanna.

Well, I don’t think any of us can ever really know who we are, but I wish you luck!

I certainly miss seeing you around. Oh! But no pressure!

Sweetie Belle! It’s… It’s you! I mean, not you but you you! Oh my gosh, it’s been so long since you even recognized me!

Me? I’m fine! We’re fine! Everythings… I mean it’s been years. A lot has changed. Do you know Twist? One of the fillies you go to school with? Bon-Bon has been training her in candy making for over a year now. I think she plans to offer her a summer job after this school year ends. If somepony else could watch the store for her, that’d give her more time to herself! Which would be pretty convenient since she and I have been traveling here and there lately.

Bon-Bon and I have… got ourselves involved in a sort-of project. I probably won’t go back to teaching once this year is over. Not that my working in a high school ever really effected you.

But how are you doing, Sweetie? I mean, I see you and your friends around town sometimes. Do you have your…? I mean, it caused quite a stir in the academic world when you three got them. But of course it’s okay if you don’t! It’s not a big deal or anything. It’s just… I’ve seen you helping others with their cutie marks. I just want to congratulate you personally if you… you know… have yours.

It’s so good to hear from you, Sweetie Belle. I don’t know how all this multi-dimensional stuff works, but it’s just good to know that you’re still out there somewhere.

1) Well sure! Pickup lines are mostly just puns and general word play. Ponies love word play! It’s tradition! Unless you develop a completely rational hatred of it due to overexposure… Hate to be that pony…

Their intention is to be quick, funny little icebreakers used in a neutral public socialization location; like a bar! Somepony walks up, says “I ordered two drinks. If you want one I can order another.” And you either laugh and invite the generous, but potential alcoholic to join you for a spell or hit them with a “Sorry, I’m a silicon-based life-form. It would literally kill me to accept your offer.“ And they get the light-hearted hint and leave you alone for the night.

Of course, like anything else, they can be done wrongly, or used in the wrong place, or at the wrong time. Like, if you ever ask me, in a crude double entendre, if I frequent a given establishment on a regular basis (you know the one I’m talking about), you don’t get a rejection line. Those are funny and thoughtful. You get a cross look and a well rehearsed, “That is not funny. You are not edgy or interesting for having said it. Go away.“ And if they don’t you contact the staff, and they intervene because you learned who the staff is and what their policies on harassment are before ever taking the first drink. But at this point we’re getting into bar-going standards and I’m rambling.

Lot of ponies seem to think that it’s okay to drop pickup lines and generally hit on others at parties. It is not. You might both be neutral to the location, but the location isn’t neutral…

2) … Now me personally, I think that shows confidence. But a lot of my friends back in Canterlot thought that was poor form. However, if you come up and drop some lame “group pickup line”, of which I have never heard a decent one, then at that point you’re just playing the odds and you can go dunk your head. And ah…

… Recording seems to have cut out at some point and I appear to be on the next question…

Well, in defense of the “anons” I’m pretty sure it was just one anon and they were only being funny.