Ask Lyra
Month
1) It was my fault… I brought this upon myself. I don’t deserve help…
2) Bon-Bon: Truffles.
Lyra: Pasta with cheese.
Bon-Bon: I think Liza likes that too…
Bon-Bon: How could you?!
Ribbon: I don’t see what she’s so broken up about. I did her a favor. She loathed that job. I half expected her to laugh in my face when I told her!
Bon-Bon: No… You knew. You knew how hard it is for her to get a job. And now you’ve not only hurt her, you’ve hurt me! Do you know how much debt we have right now? I’ve been depending on her paycheck!
Ribbon: Then I’ll give you the money you need. Let her have a vacation for all I care. It’s a non-issue. Or would that hurt your pride?
Bon-Bon: How… dare you! You take away our financial independence… and then have the nerve to insult me?!
Ribbon: I-
Bon-Bon: NO! Not another word! You crossed the line last time and I forgave you too soon! But this?! Y-You’re a traitor and a coward! You can tell Liza I’m sorry, but it would feel wrong for her to stay here where you’re no longer welcome.
Ribbon: What-?
Bon-Bon: Get out of my house! And don’t come back!
Ribbon: But-! Sister-!
Bon-Bon: I HAVE NO SISTER!
[Slam!]
Ribbon: Bonnie! … Bonnie…? What have I done…?
Ribbon: Hello, Lyra. How’s it going, Lyra?
Lyra: Ribbon? B-
Ribbon: I know Bon-Bon isn’t here. My revenge is against you, not her.
Lyra: W-what?
Ribbon: It’s a funny little thing you run. Your blog. You don’t always say the nicest things on there, do you? Hmm? But maybe that was just me. So I got to thinking, ‘Gee, perhaps I’m being unfair. Maybe I should ask for a second opinion…‘ Don’t quite follow yet? Some ponies who might feel like your image reflects their own?
Lyra: No…
Ribbon: No?
Lyra: Please.
Ribbon: Please?
Lyra: I’m begging you!
Ribbon: It’s too late for begging.
Lyra: [Gasp]
Ribbon: You’ll go into work tomorrow to a pink slip! I only came over see the look on your face! That’s what you get for crossing-…
Lyra: [Sob]
Ribbon: That’s… not quite…
Lyra: [Crying, fading into the distance]
Ribbon: I don’t… You were supposed to be angry… It’s just some lousy job you hated… Isn’t it?
Lyra: Ugh… I’m home…
Bon-Bon: Hi, Lyra!
Lyra: Hey, Bon-Bon…
Jacques: Bonsoir, Lyra.
Lyra: Hey, Ja-oh what the [omitted]…
Bon-Bon: Sit down and eat this.
Lyra: What is it?
Bon-Bon: It’s food. You put it in your mouth? I’m told sometimes you use a utensil to do this. … Well?
Lyra: I mean, it’s pretty good.
Bon-Bon: How good is pretty good?
Lyra: Not as good as last night.
Jacques: But of course.
Bon-Bon: But better than what you usually eat, right?
Lyra: Yeah, sure.
Bon-Bon: Jacques, tell the mare how much that cost to make.
Jacques: Three bits; as much as one of your microwavable freezer-burns.
Lyra: This? This only cost three bits?
Bon-Bon: Scaled down per portion, yes. We made more than just that. And in only twenty minutes.
Lyra: That’s… incredible.
Bon-Bon: That’s the mark of a real chef. When you have only the best ingredients, the food speaks for itself. It takes skill and experience to make do with less.
Jacques: Education and connections to cultivate as well.
Bon-Bon: This is what I wanted to show you. Economics. Not the best food, but for the cost? Well, you said it yourself: pretty good! This is my goal for you. I want you to be able to do this.
Lyra: I have just one question.
Bon-Bon: Yes?
Lyra: Who is this colt?!
Jacques: I am… Jacques.
Lyra: I don’t understand.
Bon-Bon: Why that was so much better than anything I’ve ever made? Because good food doesn’t just happen. It can’t be replicated, imitated, or mass-produced. Good food comes from good ingredients, and good ingredients require the best, natural environments to grow. That means they have to ship those ingredients from those environments all over the world.
Bon-Bon: But those good ingredients can still be divided into grades, and then the best quality within those grades. When you order an expensive pasta, you might be getting that year’s best tomatoes, but only some of that year’s best grains. Without grading? Can you imagine a subpar ingredient in an otherwise exquisite dish?
Bon-Bon: And as if that wasn’t complicated enough, it’s all on a timetable. “The longer it takes to reach your plate the more it loses its luster.” That best tomato will probably not be in its best condition by the time you order it. That’s why good food isn’t… you can’t just hold it in your hooves. It’s chance. A series of conditions. A circumstance. An experience.
Bon-Bon: That’s why it’s such a big industry. Why so much money is spent to harvest, test, grade, purchase- sometimes auction. Ship as quickly as possible, store and prepare as quickly as possible. Of course there’s a profit to be made, but it’s as much a service to the world as any other art. It can change you. And just like the first time you ever hear a song, it will never be the same.
Lyra: Ah… Actually I meant I don’t understand why Jacques came home with us.
Jacques: I will be your waiter for this evening.
Lyra: That’s alright. You can go home, Jacques.
Jacques: Oh, of course! After such a fine meal you wish to be alone together!
Lyra: You know what? Nevermind. Please stay Jacques. I don’t want you to go anywhere.
Jacques: Mé… ménage à trois?
Lyra: Okay now you can leave for real.
???: Ah! Bonnie! So good of you to finally grace us with your presence!
Tootsie: Hi, Jacques!
Jacques: Salut, Lady Liza!
Bon-Bon: It’s a pleasure to be served by you, Jacques. This is Lyra.
Jacques: The maiden of honor herself-!
Lyra: And while I hate to start us off on the wrong hoof, your face is entirely too close to my face.
Jacques: Je vous prie d'accepter mes excuses. I am Jacques and I will be your waiter for this evening.
Lyra: Nice to meet you Jacques.
Jacques: How may I begin your dining experience tonight?
Bon-Bon: Well Lyra, if you’re done gawking at the menu, I’ll be ordering for the both of us.
Lyra: I can order for myself!
Bon-Bon: Sure you can. Soon as I can trust you to not order something cheap.
Tootsie: What about me?
Bon-Bon: Just don’t make yourself sick.
Tootsie: Suh-wee~t!
Lyra: Wait a minute! That’s not fair! She can order for herself but I can’t?!
Bon-Bon: She knows what food tastes like.
Tootsie: Heehee!
Lyra: Bon-Bon. Psst. Bon-Bon!
Bon-Bon: I’m only sitting across from you, Lyra.
Lyra: We have to get out of here! This place is even more expensive than I thought!
Bon-Bon: I told you not to worry about it.
Lyra: Why are we even here? Most of crap on this menu is more expensive than a week’s groceries!
Bon-Bon: Because you will learn what good food tastes like if I literally have to shove it down your throat.
Lyra: I know what good food tastes like!
Bon-Bon: No. You know what passable food tastes like. You probably know what okay food tastes like. And you might’ve even had overpriced food. But there is no mistaking good food. And if you’d had it before you wouldn’t eat half of the slop you do with a grin.
Lyra: Bet me…
Bon-Bon: And unfortunately the only place in Ponyville that serves good food is on the pricier side. I consider it an investment in your culinary education.
Tootsie: Do I order from the cheap menu or the expensive menu?
Bon-Bon: Your mother will be covering you.
Tootsie: Sweet!
Bon-Bon: It was nice of your bosses to finally give you a Saturday off.
Lyra: You’d think it was the least they could do after forcing me to work on Nightmare Night, sick and throwing up. Last real day off I had was to visit the fillies and colts at the end of the school year in June. I practically had to chop off my hooves this time. The new company is pretty cruel.
Bon-Bon: Well, I’m just glad you’ll be here. And to see Countess Coloratura no less!
Lyra: Me too! I’m looking forward to tonight! She might not be my favorite, but she can sing really well under all that drama! Seems kinda silly to open with your headline act, though. But I guess she probably wouldn’t agree to less.
When you hear a new song on the radio and you’re desperately trying to pick a notable phrase so you can google it later
1) I sincerely doubt it, but thanks!
2) Orange.
3) I don’t know. Bon-Bon won’t tell me ahead of time. She says she doesn’t want me to study for it. Which is silly. I don’t study.
4) If they fired you for being absent because of a psychological/magical disorder, I’m pretty sure you’d have grounds to sue. I could have asked about it, but the only lawyer I know isn’t to keen on me right now.
Lyra: Okay. That’s all she wrote.
Bon-Bon: I’m excited!
Lyra: Really? I’m embarrassed.
Bon-Bon: Stop stalling and serve the thing!
Lyra: Here. Go nuts.
Bon-Bon: Hmm…
Lyra: It’s awful, isn’t it?
Bon-Bon: Of course not! It’s great! You did a great job.
Lyra: I’m delighted. I feel like a yearling.
Bon-Bon: Lyra, you have to start somewhere.
Lyra: This feels more like the starting point for somepony who’s a fire hazard.
Bon-Bon: It’s about following directions and not looking for a shortcut. When you’ve had experience, then you can start trying new things and going by taste. Real taste. Not lots-of-salt taste. But this was a good step! We’ll build from here!
1) Ah, don’t let it get to you. Just go creep.
I’m sorry somepony took your tumblr name. That’s a pretty jerk thing to do.
2) I don’t know, she was pretty insulting. And possibly racist? Of all the useless, old-world ideologies.
Ribbon: It looks just like the pictures. Absolutely amazing, Tootsie!
Tootsie: Liza.
Ribbon: Liza. Yes. I’m just so proud of you!
Tootsie: Thanks!
Ribbon: I mean, you display such proficiency and skill-
Tootsie: Mom.
Ribbon: I can’t imagine you doing anything else!
Tootsie: Mom.
Ribbon: If you’re this good now, just think of what you’ll be capable of in the-
Tootsie: Mom!
Ribbon: Alright, alright. Go grab your things. I’ll carry your horticulture marvel. I’m sure your father will be delighted to see your work! Look Bonnie!
Bon-Bon: I’ve been watching her take care of that flower for the last few months, Ribbon.
Ribbon: But just look here! Where the leaves change color? The book says that’s very hard to do!
Bon-Bon: And that’s wonderful, Ribbon! I’m happy for Liza.
Ribbon: Oh you shush. I’m a mother and I’m proud of my daughter’s work. Nothing more.
Bon-Bon: Right… Can you hurry up and get that thing out of here? Lyra’s been sneezing like mad ever since it bloomed.
Ribbon: Really? Almost a shame to take it then.
Bon-Bon: I don’t know what got between you two, but I don’t like it.
Ribbon: She won’t like it either…
Bon-Bon: I didn’t catch that?
Ribbon: Oh-uh, our maid, dear. She has allergies too. I’m sure she won’t like the flower either. But nothing for you to be concerned with!
1) It was definitely something from the party; I don’t know what. But don’t worry about it. Something was probably just too rich for me. I suck like that.
2) If I could manage to throw up I would have, just to get it out of my system. But thanks.
3) Well, I’ve been gifted D4, Fallout Tactics, Fallout: New Vegas, and Saints Row 2. I got near the end of Digital Devil Saga 1, but I got caught up in side quests and never even played the sequel. Then there’s Shadowrun: Hong Kong. XCOM 2, when it releases. If I could afford a better setup I have a friend that plays The Secret World (but the game overheats my computer), and another friend that plays ARK.
I never got to play all the different factions in Endless Legend, and haven’t even tried the expansions (even though I own one of them). I beat Dark Souls 2 twice and own the season pass, but I never tried the expansions there either. When I last played XCOM I had unlocked the stat and ability randomizers and I wanted to do a run (possibly with the Long War mod) where my soldiers were all tumblr followers, but there just never seems to be any time.
As always, if I can find a small Minecraft community I’d love to hop back on that.
