Ask Lyra

We~’ve got the music-makes you move it.

Got the song that makes you lose it.

We say “jump”, you say “how high?”

Put your hands up to the sky!

1) I’m still not understanding how I was supposed to tell him this and it not seem like I’m being told to tell somepony something. I mean, I’d like to think I’m pretty good at lying, but I’d need a better prompt than this.

2) I’m sorry?

3) Does she look angry? Also, “Perfect landing!”

4) Hearth’s Warming decorations out before Nightmare Night has passed? What a horrifying world you suffer through.

5) Lyra: That sounds kind of dangerous. And a lot like work.

Tootsie: My name is Lisa!

Bon-Bon: Actually… that does sound like fun! Maybe you could try working it around my schedule? There’s got to be a time where we’re all free.

Lyra: I don’t wanna go.

Bon-Bon: Exercise, filly! You still need it!

1) Peaceful land with kind inhabitants? Do you mean the hallows, the harpies, the body-horror phalanx, or the undead dragon?

I needed to beat her to make the scythe.

2) Aren’t you comparing a sizable coastal country, centralized in the European trade route, with a tiny, mountainous, landlocked country?

Golly doop it, Harry Lime, what are you on?

3) I’ve known about it for a bit. But since I can’t play it I haven’t looked into it much. Maybe it’ll get ported to Steam like Deadly Premonition was.

4) Oh… Sorry. That’s no fun. No incoming patch to stabilize it?

5) How about it has both because it has two heads? Is that creepy enough yet? Are we done here?

6) Bon-Bon: Sorry. I’ve been really busy since we got back. I had no idea I’d have more business this year than last year! I wasn’t prepared for this!

1) Disregarding the swearing, I think Sexxi Bbz answered this better than I could.

2) I’ve always tried to be pretty receptive. I’m not “hardcore” but I tend to be better than most of my friends I play with. It’s an unfortunate position; good enough to be good, but not good enough to be great.

3) No. Actually the bride kept the bouquet. They didn’t do the garter thing either. The bride seemed sort of timid.

4) Back in Silver, my Eevee became an Umbreon.

1) I needed the tail break off!

I didn’t kill her the second time, if that makes up for it.

2) … Can I pick Gilbert Godfrey with the head of the Annoying Orange? I think that would be less unpleasant.

3) Sorry! Bon-Bon and I were suddenly invited to a wedding! She said it might be a pretty important family event. More on that later.

4) Most of my WoW raiding, for as much as I did anyway, involved Karazhan. I was kind of a B-lister in the guild I was in, so…

“Time… Never enough time…”

5) I did! It was a lovely ceremony! But more on that later. Bon-Bon said she wants to talk about it.

Hey! Sorry for the silence. Going to a wedding tomorrow. Explain more in a few days when I get back!

1) I’m sure you all expect me to get all upset and throw a hissy fit about drug use. Nope. Weed is actually safer than cigarettes or alcohol. The whole reason its outlawed is because cigarette companies lobbied against it, seeing it as competition.

But to answer your question, no. I don’t want to get arrested and serve anymore time.

Also, what’s this “kid” garbage, Twilight? We’re around the same age.

2) That’s exactly what I’m talking about. How else would that work? Open a portal through-? Oh look! A cupcake!

3) I’ve heard a little bit. Back when I was playing the first Dark Souls I didn’t like the sounds of it. But the already faster paced sequel has turned me over to the idea.

Cultist Refuge… Cultestrefugecultistrefugecultistrefuge…

Oh, TERA! OH! That’s the place with the Argon! That dude will mess you up!

4) “I’m gonna go to the arcade.”

“What? No! We came here together! We need to stay together!”

“Alright alright, fine.”

“We’re going to ride this one next!”

“Okay. Have fun with that.”

“Come on! Don’t you want to try it?”

“I will literally turn my head and throw up on you.”

1) You are about the strangest mother [omitted] I have ever exchanged words with. But your concern is noted.

I have a thing about accepting food from ponies on tumblr. The thing is that I don’t.

2) I ate them. You’ll never stop the launch now!

3) It did! They were all pretty funny, but that last one’s what really got me!

4) No, because I’m afraid of heights.

Oh but Lyra! You don’t have to ride anything!

You’re right! I also don’t have to go to an amusement park!

What is with everypony and wanting to go to an amusement park with me anyway?

1) Pretty sure I’d die, since jello is too thick to carry nutrients through my veins.

2) Still not sure how that makes me mean.

But with regards to your second comment…

1) Why does it go on for three minutes?

2) That’s quite the position! Congratulations, sturmtruppen!

3) …

Bon-Bon: It’s gonna be alright, Lyra.

Lyra: … [Sniff] I already miss him… I hadn’t seen him in forever and I already miss him…

1) Sorta. At least once.

And yes! Mr. Cake and I are friends on Steam!

2) That doesn’t sound like sweetened with heavenly sugar to me.

3) Uh… shirt?

4) Which one? The Deus Ex one? The Steven Universe one?

I mean, neither of them were in reply to you. Not sure why they’d upset you.

5) Tomorrow! I think. I was supposed to have today off, but they asked if I could come in and I said yes.

Already seen EG. Wasn’t impressed.

1) Now if I went too far I’m sorry, Strawberry. But what exactly about my last post crossed the line?

2) I feel sorry for them, really. To not know the glory that is sweet tea.

3) Meat shield is a venerable title for tanks of the thickest hide. Don’t feel bad. Vendrick isn’t so bad, but he his so hard. Oh! But back during the summer sale when I got Dark Souls 2 I also got all the expansion content at the same time. I tried the first new area on my NG+ character, but I didn’t get very far. I’ll get back into it later.

4) Again with the rice.

That’s all great, but I don’t want to eat better or exercise. I have a job now! Why can’t that be enough?! Like I don’t already have little time between that and bungeeing my sleep schedule.

1) Nope, she’s kind of a pushover. But Licia? Really? That makes me wonder, did you ever have any difficulty with The Rotten or Vendrick? They gave me a little trouble.

And did you fight Darklurker? Because that fight is awful.

2) Yeah, rip. Now stay out of the ladies’ restroom, Denton. How unprofessional.

3) As far as frequency, you’d poop a lot more if you were an uncivilized animal living outside too.

As far as quantity, that would really depend on how much you eat, wouldn’t it? That, in turn, would depend on the side of the animal you’re talking about.

In short, how the hay would I know?!

4) Why does everypony say that?! Sweet tea is so~ good!

1) The one I hear about is preservatives and sodas causing puberty to occur earlier and earlier in foals.

Pfft. Who has time for a doctor?

2) Tootsie: I hung out with Sweetie Bell while she was staying here. She’s nice! She and her friends are okay, sometimes. They mostly just play with each other, though, which means they exclude everypony else. “Official Crusader business.”

At least they never act mean like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

3) Paul, what’s going on? Is it old men running the world again? (Warning: Crude language)

4) Lyra: Wha’ if yer in a horry to eat an’ you nee’ to say sumfin’?

Bon-Bon: Lyra! You know better than that!

Lyra: Wha’? I’m a gweat rolemadel!

5) Yeah, that was one of the several things I considered saying. Another was-

1) Lyra: Well, I could bring a bag of marshmallows.

Bon-Bon: How would that help?

Lyra: Help what?

2) I was an orphan and spent most of my time on the streets of lower Canterlot. You kinda just eat what’s available.

3) Lyra: Oh! I like sweet tea!

Bon-Bon: That’s full of sugar!

Lyra: I know! It’s great!

4) Mare, you probably load that crap up with creamer. Get that outta here.

On the other hoof, I know a pony you might enjoy a chat with.

5) Lyra: I can’t hear you because your mouth is fULL OF PUMPKINS! PUMPKIN EATER!

Tootsie: Cheater cheater, pumpkin eater!