Ask Lyra
Month
Haha… I found the messages you sent. The ones I thought I answered. I never answered them.
I don’t know where they went, or how I missed them. Anyway…
Thank you, state of Michigan! This calls for a soda! … Oops.
—
In other news, I’ve received five notifications today saying I had a new message, only for nothing to be in my inbox. As of now all messages received have been answered. So, if you sent something and I haven’t answered it yet, I never got it.
Bon-Bon: It’s good to be back. Minuette’s place is nice, but it doesn’t really have the charm of home.
Lyra: Huh, yeah! I’d hate to ever have to leave this place! Ah haha…
Bon-Bon: … So, what now?
Lyra: … I don’t know. I still want to tell your sister off.
Bon-Bon: Please don’t.
Lyra: Bon-Bon, she has no respect for you. She can’t treat you like that!
Bon-Bon: Nothing you say is going to change that. It’s just going to make things more hostile.
Lyra: Have you ever tried? Have you ever tried pushing her back? All she does is manipulate and attack you! You’re more then in the right to attack her negligent flank back! She has responsibilities too! In fact, she has a huge one that she’s been shrugging off on you! She doesn’t even know how old her own daughter is!
Bon-Bon: She doesn’t plan. She doesn’t think ahead. It’s better that I do take care of Tootsie. She’d just screw it up.
Lyra: If that’s what you believe, then she needs to know that.
Bon-Bon: I don’t know…
Lyra: That’s why I’m going to help you.
Lyra: Bon-Bon, I’m sorry!
Bon-Bon: No, you had every right to be upset. I let my emotions get pent up and I took it out on you.
Lyra: No! I was so used to having full control of my tumblr that you posting in my absence scared me. Plus I was a little embarrassed…
Bon-Bon: What I said was deliberately in attempt to make you feel guilty, and it was wrong.
Lyra: And I was trying to make you feel bad! I was wrong too!
Minuette: Hey! That’s great! You were both wrong! Super! But can you do this somewhere else? I’m kinda with a patient right now.
Rose: Yeah! I don’t have all day!
Lyra: Sorry. Let’s go home.
Bon-Bon: Of course. Thank you, Minuette, for letting me spend the night.
Minuette: Sure thing, Bon-Bon! But no seriously, I have other patients after this.
Bon-Bon: Right, leaving now.
Rose: Finally.
Minuette: Now where were we?
[Drill revving up]
Rose: The horror!
Well, there’s Colgate. I mean Minuette. I think she’s good friends with her.
I’ll go check.
No… I mean, she never really goes anywhere.
Bon-Bon’s sister lives in Manehattan. There is no way Bon-Bon hopped a train and went all that way.
Literally. I asked around the train station when I went in to cancel my shift today. She was never there. She has to be somewhere close by.
I… I couldn’t find her. I lost her in town and I couldn’t find her. I thought she might be at work, but…
No… I have to go to bed. I have to get ready for work early in the morning. I need the money. I have to pay her back. For everything she’s done.
… This isn’t right. This is her house… I should be the one out there…
Lyra: -ied to me! Lied to my face!
Bon-Bon: I know! I’m-!
Lyra: It’s a breech of trust!
Bon-Bon: I’m sorry!
Lyra: Sorry about what, Bon-Bon?! There’s so much! Sorry about what?! You lied! You withheld information-! All that wasted effort trying to act civil to that polished turd! The next time I see your sister I’m going to tell her exactly where where she can shove it!
Bon-Bon: Lyra no!
Lyra: You told the whole [omitted] internet-!
Bon-Bon: I’m sorry!
Lyra: -Told in confidence! Taken out of context!
Bon-Bon: I didn’t mean to!
Lyra: And then-! And then you tried to cover it up by hacking my XKit blocker! You blocked one of my own tags! Then you blocked somepony else’s! Were they trying to tell me the truth, Bon-Bon?! Huh?!
Bon-Bon: I was just-!
Lyra: How many times did somepony send a message and you intercepted it before I could see?!
Bon-Bon: I-
Lyra: What’s wrong?! Nothing to say?! You just couldn’t stop yourself before!
Bon-Bon: Why don’t you just come out and say it?! You mentioned everything else! Why don’t you just say what you’re really so upset about?!
Lyra: What?
Bon-Bon: You don’t like me! You can’t stand that I still have feelings for you!
Lyra: That has nothing to-!
Bon-Bon: Yes it does! You said you’d date Gilda! You know what that means?! [Sniff] It means you’re not into older guys! You’re not into guys at all! You just don’t like me!
Lyra: That’s because you’re like-!
Bon-Bon: I don’t want to be like a sister to you! [Sob] I never wanted to be your sister! Why can’t you just love me?! What’s wrong with me?! … [Sniff] You went out of your way-… Out of your way to never give me a chance! [Sob] And now it’s too late! [Sobbing]
Lyra: … Bon-Bon, I-…
Bon-Bon: Don’t touch me! Keep your stupid website!
Lyra: Bon-Bon, wait!
[BLAM!]
Lyra: Bon-Bon!
[Rushed door opening] [Fading hoofsteps]
Wait a minute. I thought I answered those first two. Did tumblr lose the post? I gotta remember to check what else I might have lost!
1) Not allowed to have electronics, so I bring a notepad and jot some things down. But depending on the time of day, you’d be surprised how many ponies buy a ticket in only eight hours!
2) Yeah, you said you beat the Ruin Sentinels and the Royal Rat Vanguard too. Really I thought I answered this. Did I delete them by accident?
The Old Dragonslayer is basically a slowed down singular version of one of the hardest bosses from the first Dark Souls. I had so much practice from that fight that Old Dragonslayer has always been trivial.
Thus far, the two most difficult bosses for me were Ancient Dragon and Royal Rat Authority. They both beat me so badly.
Oh, and if you didn’t know, most bosses can be poisoned. It’s very useful!
1) Somehow or another, I still value you as a friend. I would be devastated if anything happened to you.
2) Well I appreciate that. You’ll excuse me if I still possess an irrational fear.
3) According to the timestamp on my personal copies of the files, it’s only a little over two years old. On the other hoof, my background is nearly three.
Be sure to wish my background a happy birthday on August 20th!
1) I did get it, but thanks for letting me know anyway!
2) Lyra: NotCarlton.
Bon-Bon: Not- Shoot.
3) B: I don’t know what this means or why you would think I would. What are the numbers even supposed to be? A date? A combination? You said book. Is it an edition?
Sorry, Strawberry. I hope you’re okay!
4) I thought it might be boring, but really it seems more… lonely. I mean, you can find ways to pass the time, but there’s only one pony working at the counter during a shift. And depending on the time of day it might be an hour or more before anypony comes to buy a ticket.
And yes. They have a shift that just goes around relieving others so they can go on break. If I ever need to go, I can just send a message and they’ll send somepony to cover for me. But the ticket booth itself only closes for four hours a day, between two and six in the morning.
1) Hmm… You could try pyromancy to supplement without putting any points into intelligence. If you haven’t yet, you’d just need to clear No-Man’s Wharf to gain access to the catalyst for the spells. Not that the boss there is a pushover, but you can have Lucatiel help you.
2) Well, because the game has cooperative elements, it was affecting other players. Several times I’d summon some back up for a boss fight only for them to both be faith builds and they’d drop the boss in seconds; little to no contribution from me. Compare that to no faith builds and it becomes a regular fight that lasts two to three times longer.
I understand your position, and for you playing offline it’s unfortunate that it was one way and then it changed mid game, breaking your build. But as this is meant to be an online game, global balancing is important to maintain the validity of other play-styles, both in PvP and PvE.
3) Well, I’ve only just started. But it’s going great so far! Thanks for asking! Great to hear from you, Star!
4) Yes? You’re clearly wanting me to say yes.
If I was a colt it wouldn’t matter if she was straight or not. We’d have never been roommates.
5) Bon-Bon: Yes.
Alright! A little late this year, but here we are! Four messages this time, including one that will be posted alone.
1) Run. Get out of Canterlot. Never look back.
2) Ordinarily my answer would be along the lines of, “I’d sooner shove his face in dirt.” But since I’m not supposed to deflect…
The thought of Bbz kissing me is… terrifying. Without getting into information I’m pretty sure you don’t care about, I’m… afraid of kissing somepony and them forcing their tongue into my mouth. I have nightmares sometimes… So no. Even if I liked him I’d be too scared.
And just so we’re clear when you see this Bbz, if you ever, ever use this information against me, our friendship is through. Got it?
3) Of course I love Bon-Bon. She’s my best friend. She’s my family.
If you’re asking if we’ve ever been in a romantic relationship, no. If you’re asking if we’ve ever had sex, no.
1) I didn’t, but I looked into it when I got this message! Seems legit! Can’t wait!
2) From what I read, it’s purely a usage nerf. And in truth, it’s a PvE change. Lightning miracles have such a telegraphed animation that dodging them in PvP is trivial, and leaves the caster wide open for retaliation. On the other hoof, the spells do so much more damage than soul arrows or hexes that the number of charges they had were disproportionate to how much they wrecked. That’s the whole reason why faith builds were so popular; it made little work of the majority of the game. That’s not to say what they did was right, though.
If you haven’t yet, before using a soul vessel I’d put a few points into intelligence and try out hexes to supplement the low number of charges you have. If you beat the Dragonrider, than you have access to the hex spell merchant in Huntsman’s Copse.
3) Ah. I understand about the solo thing now. Glad you won though!
Hey! Uh, I have news! I’ve sort of been holding it back because… Well because I’ve been waiting for something to go wrong.
I have a new job!
I work at Ponyville’s train station! I started this week! I sell tickets and give information! It’s not great, but I’m getting money! More money then I’ve gotten in a long time!
Anyway, that’s why I’ve been so busy. So I’m not ready to answer the Tell messages yet. But I should be able to get to them tomorrow! Thanks!
1) Oh, yeah. Even when I had a bunch of health and armor on NG I still couldn’t survive that. Probably impossible to survive on NG+.
But if you get and upgrade a tower shield you can mostly tank hits. In PvE there’s only a few attacks that will hit through a shield (provided enough stamina). The only reason I would suggest against bows is the cost of arrows in souls counting toward your soul memory, which can make it harder to summon allies if you try to get a decent level as well.
2) Solo? Are you sure? Half of the fun of the game is summoning people to help! Plus there’s specific story threads you can’t advance unless you summon NPC allies in a few fights (and they live).
I could never get that Dragonrider trick to work. But it’s not a hard fight. Just circle-strafe to stay next to/behind him and there’s only one attack he can do to hit you.
1) Yes? No? I don’t know? He really hung out more with Gilda. I was sort of a third wheel.
2) One of the first, yes sir. And while this anniversary crept up on me, it definitely doesn’t feel like only yesterday when it all started. But thank you! There are a lot of tumblrs I miss.
3) Yes. Like that. Also I’m positive somepony else already did that joke, but I can’t find the post.
The answer is chamomile.
Anypony remember this? Well I figured I’d do it again!
I’m going to directly answer a question I usually wouldn’t. Think of it like an honesty hour/TMI type-thing (which I intentionally don’t do).
BUT! Here’s the stipulations.
- I’m only answering one.
- I’m choosing which one. And-
- It can’t be anonymous. You have to have a blog with at least a month old message, or present proof that the blog has been around for at least a month (which isn’t hard. If you have no posts just submit a link that leads to a question you’ve asked somepony at least a month ago; doesn’t matter which tumblr it was sent to).
Don’t waste your time spamming my inbox with the same question over and over again because it’s not going to matter. If I find a better question, or one I’m more comfortable answering, that’s the one I’m picking.
If you want your message to be in the running, place a “Tell:“ tag before the message (without quotation marks). For example:
- Tell: What do your eyes smell like?
I’ll reply to the message on July 22nd. To make sure your message counts, send it in before 6 A.M. EST of July 22nd. That’s A.M., morning of the day itself. It might count after that if I haven’t done the winning message yet, but I can’t guarantee it.
Every year I wind up answering all the questions that were asked, so the only choosing one thing is more of a disclaimer. I’ll answer at least one.
In particular I’d never heard The District Sleeps Alone Tonight, and it was great!
2) Sure. You don’t need this much time, but I’m gonna be kind of busy for a few days (I’ll explain later, it’s kinda late). So I’ll post the answer on the twenty-second. You have a week. I’ll reblog the rules after this.
3) Yes I did! He was nice! Why, did you know him?
1) Super fighting robot. Mega Mare!
2) I’d reblog your flawless nails gif in retaliation, but I can’t find it.
3) Oh! I just started NG+ on that today! It’s pretty fun! And you’d do well as a faith character. The lightning spells are really powerful.
4) I don’t normally care who of what race is cast for what, but i don’t like this at all. The whole point of the “ninja” part of the ninja turtles, is their training. Why were they trained that way? Because Splinter’s master, who Shredder murdered in retaliation for his brother’s murder, was an authentic ninja master! And Shredder was a deadly ninja assassin! Outside of the constant link with mutagen, these were the only characters with past connections! The race of the characters were built into the characters! Splinter’s master fled to America, for pony’s sake!
So who the crap is this white guy named Eric Sachs, and why should anypony care when the real story was so interesting to begin with?
5) Well that’s not hard. They don’t want to hurt anypony’s feelings. The important thing to remember is that it’s your life and your account. You wouldn’t stay in a relationship that wasn’t working out, so don’t keep following somepony if you don’t want to anymore.
6) >:[
Also I just realized I missed my tumblrversary this year.
Now I’m sad.
1) Is that what I made it sound like? I’m sorry, Scoots. You’re free to unfollow anypony you want! Even me, if that’s what you want.
2) You know, I never did the Looker story. I should at some point. I’d be more interested in the dressing up thing if it persisted into combat.
3) I looked at the wiki for it a little and it just makes me sick how the movie industry works. They’re already trying to make this a trilogy.
1) Well, yeah! I only unfollow somepony if I’m given a reason to do so. If they aren’t posting, it’s not bothering me. And if they start posting again, I’m the first to know about it!
Why would anypony unfollow somepony for inactivity?
2) That sounds illegal. Or should be illegal. I mean, shouldn’t a bank care if somepony is spending money that nopony is claiming?
I hope it gets resolved soon.
4) I heard a story once that banks were originally designed to help ponies, not make money off of them. Don’t know how true that is, but it’d be nice.
Lyra: Snooping through my inbox, huh?
Bon-Bon: W-well…
Lyra: Bbz, I’ve told you like five times. I have no known relatives. Colgate is just a mare with a similar mane/tail-style. Now about snooping through my inbox.
Bon-Bon: Excuse me? You said when I agreed to this that I could answer asks while you were away!
Lyra: Of course I did, Bon-Bon. And I’m not complaining about it or anything. You did nothing wrong.
Bon-Bon: I-I know I didn’t!
Lyra: So where are they?
Bon-Bon: What?
Lyra: The asks you answered. Where are they?
Bon-Bon: I… uh… I private replied.
Lyra: I see.
1) Believe it or not, I’ve heard that story before. As for educational, imagine playing that with only cursory knowledge of the world it’s describing.
2) That is silly! This is much less silly (Warning: Disturbing lyrics).
3) Bon-Bon: Thank you, dear. I hope you’re happy too!
Lyra: A~nd no explanation.
Bon-Bon: Such a curious filly you are.
4) Ouch. Also sorry for the delay. Has it been resolved yet?
5) B: I don’t have normal days. I haven’t had a normal day in over five years. There’s always things to do. At the moment I’m still trying to find this pony. I had a decent lead for a while, but it led nowhere.
2) Bon-Bon: Not oooooohhh! Sssshhhhhh! I never should have started responding to these!
3) Bon-Bon: Stop it! I want her to be happy! He makes her happy!
4) Bon-Bon: If you asked her, she’d say no. But I also heard her say once when she was drunk that she used to have a crush on Gilda.
Bon-Bon: And don’t repeat any of this to her! Please!
1) Bon-Bon: She didn’t used to be… She was a dreamer. Then when her dreams came true she just assumed that’s how life is supposed to be. And that we all have the same dreams.
2) Bon-Bon: Of course I do. She knows I do. But she doesn’t feel the same way… And as long as she’s in a relationship, there’s no way that will change.
???: Bonnie! Sister! Good afternoon! Good to see you!
Bon-Bon: Hello, Ribbon. Why the fanfare? Liza! Your mom’s here!
Ribbon: What? Can a mare not be pleased to see her sister well?
Bon-Bon: Not usually, no.
Ribbon: I’m sorry. Is this not a good time? I thought we might speak for a bit since…
Bon-Bon: Since Lyra went to Canterlot for the weekend. But you already knew that, didn’t you.
Ribbon: Guilty as charged! Ah haha! Hello Tootsie! MmmMM! Go wait in the carriage please. Such a good filly! Ah ha… [Clearing throat] Yes, well. Since I knew you’d be alone this weekend, I thought “What an excellent time this would be for my dear, dear sister to make a new friend!”
Bon-Bon: You didn’t.
Ribbon: They’re waiting behind the carriage!
Bon-Bon: Rebecca! You brought some stranger to my house?! Get rid of him!
Ribbon: Her! It’s a her! I know you like mares so it’s a filly this time!
Bon-Bon: Get rid of them!
Ribbon: Bonnie, if you’d just-
Bon-Bon: NOW!
Ribbon: [Sigh] Very well, Bonnie. As you wish.
Bon-Bon: [Incomprehensible muttering] Don’t believe this…
Ribbon: There. I hope you’re pleased with yourself. She wasn’t exactly easy to find. Somepony, a single mare your age no less, willing to come all this way for somepony she’s never met.
Bon-Bon: That’s because it’s ludicrous! What’s wrong with you?!
Ribbon: Wrong with me? I have a ten-year old daughter and my big sister has yet to be in a serious relationship! A mare of your stature living with a-a roommate! All that I can do to dance around the subject in conversation!
Bon-Bon: Excuse me?! I work forty-plus hours a week and still spend more time with your daughter than you do!
Ribbon: Exactly! You could be the name in confections for all of Equestria! Instead you waste away in this-this three bedroom/two bath outhouse with that-that vagabond, gypsy… Drifter!
Bon-Bon: … What did you say?
Ribbon: She won’t stay here, Bonnie. It doesn’t matter how you feel about her! She won’t stay here forever! It’s not in her nature. Not in her lower-class upbringing! She’s a-
Bon-Bon: I swear to Celestia-if you call her a street urchin one more time.
Ribbon: You’re better than this! Better than her!
Bon-Bon: Get out of my house!
Ribbon: Does she even love you back-?
Bon-Bon: I SAID GET OUT!
[BLAM!] [Locking mechanism]
Bon-Bon: … [Sniff] … [Sob] … [Sniff]…
1) Not dying, mostly. That might sound easy, but it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever live through!
2) Bon-Bon: Your world is full of hate for things that are different. Reading a book wrote by a pony might not make you unique, but it would make you a minority. If anyone even believed it. There’d probably be as many articles bad-mouthing it as there would be ones questioning its authenticity.
Bon-Bon: I got Lyra a Kindle a few years back thinking maybe she’d use it to read something. My mistake.
3) That’s funny! I barely played 2, but I played 3 a bunch! 4 was great and I loved it too! Just not as much as 3.
I never played Mario is Missing. It looked boring.
4) Lyra: Yes! Thank you, Strawberry! I always love eating parmesan pasta!
Bon-Bon: Thank you very much for inviting me, Strawberry.
B: Sarcasm doesn’t suit you. You will never see me.
