Ask Lyra

1) Not that I tried, but it was pretty solid. And yes, gold in food sounds… very weird. I haven’t done any boxing training in a while. Not since Sweetie Belle went home. And no, nothing. I keep putting in applications but not hearing anything back.

2) Yes. Yes you would. At any available moment. You’re almost as bad as Bon-Bon.

3) Are you kidding?! The streets were turned to heat-reflecting gold and half the buildings were transformed into gem stones! And it seemed to just happen out of no where! It was horrible!

It took a mandatory curfew and three princess two hours to reverse it all! The gold streets were too hot to even walk on!

4) Lyra: I don’t jam so well. I need sheet music and practice to perform. But thank you!

Bon-Bon: Sorry. I don’t drink.

5) Well, while an absolutely terrible pavement, gold does have it’s uses.

See? This is why “streets paved with gold” is a horrible idea!

I can’t even take a picture of it- it’s so blinding!

If that wasn’t bad enough, it’s getting really hot! It’s heating up the whole town! I heard Princess Luna and Princess Cadence are rushing over to help fix it… before we all fry!

1) Yes, but strictly amateur; I’ve never entered a real match. I don’t want to get hurt. I got into it as a form of self-defense. My training was mostly shadowboxing, instruction, and then sparring. We didn’t go to a gym or anything, so we didn’t have much, like, equipment.

Basically, I was taught by one pegasus. Sparred with others, but he created the foundation. And who was this stallion, you ask? Well…

2) I’ve tried, but I can never find anything I want or can afford. I went to the Trader’s Exchange with Bon-Bon, but I didn’t bring anything. She got a hat. I sound more like this (which I first thought was a filly singing, but explains why I’ve been told I sound like a colt).

3) Electric again, huh? I wonder if I have the same three pokemon in there as last time. Once I can, I’ll tell you what yours is and which pokemon are in there. Also, I’m pretty sure there are less expensive ways of getting a Slurpuff.

4) In the original, Yoshi at first, then Kirby. In Melee, I used a lot of Falco, Roy and Mewtwo. I didn’t play Brawl much, but I think maybe Link more than the rest. I wish there had been a mode where you could use the stickers from Subspace in a regular fight. I was kinda disappointed.

5) Watch yourself or you’ll have to pay the troll toll.

6) Hmm… Very realistic. But I think that’s a drawing.

In response to this post:

1) Frogman and Mosquito-with-Buttons-for-Eyes. Don’t suppose there are more technical names for those two, are there?

2) Well by that logic a unicorn is just a chimera of an earth pony and a narwhal, and pegasus are just pony-birds. No reason to even bring up griffons.

3) I’m not so sure. I mean, if you look closely just in front of the tail fin; that sort of looks like a leg of some kind, doesn’t it? Like there’s something more obscured beneath the cage.

Anypony else?

1) Bon-Bon: Uh… No. I don’t care. I mean, it doesn’t mean anything to-

Lyra: Oh my gosh yes! Where are your cups?! I checked like every cabinet! What? There?! Why?! Why would you put them there?! That’s stupid! Next you’re going to tell me you put your bowls in an upper cabinet too! You do?! AGH!

2) My vocal range is somewhere between nails on a chalkboard and the sound of a toilet flushing. Very technical, I know.

If I could sing, my comfort zone would probably fall somewhere between Tricia Brock of former Superchick and Lacey Strum of former Flyleaf.

Example A: Stand in the Rain
Example B: So I Thought

And of course I mean singing the instruments! I do it alone all the time, just usually have sense enough to not do it in public.

3) Um… No? That wouldn’t make any sense. There are a few, sure. But pursuers of feminism are activists. As in, you have to actively be doing something toward the cause.

4) Well, I’m terrible at regular fighting games. But I was halfway decent at Smash. So yeah, I got kinda into it and forgot that the point was to have fun.

Illegal Immigration, as it exists in your world, only makes sense in a case of population diffusion. That is, a location banning new immigrants on the grounds that there’s just too many in a single location. However, as I understand it, the most populated places in your world have no such limitation.

It seems to be a matter of nationalism; a country wanting- and forcing, its citizens to be part of an inescapable collective whole. Done to the detriment of those who are considered “different”.

Of course, Equestria had closed its borders to the griffon nation; making immigration illegal. But this was done to protect itself until the country became stable again; it was never intended to be permanent.

And! The upcoming Equestria Games holds the important distinction of lifting that ban and opening its borders once more to griffon immigrants or visitors!

1) Lyra: Knock-knock.

Bon-Bon: Who’s there?

Lyra: Something funny.

Bon-Bon: Must not be a knock-knock joke then!

[Ba-Dum Tsh]

2) I wish I could believe this, my twenty-two thousand three-hundred thirty-forth AOL-inspired clone. I could use some relaxing morning-time jams.

3) Sure, but that’s just for entering a country, right? Entering and exiting are two very different things.

4) Uh… There’s some posts I’ve made while drunk. They’re not so great… I’m cutting back. It’s an expensive habit anyway.

At my best while drunk, I’ll usually try singing something outside my effective vocal range (which isn’t great to begin with), complete with instruments. Sometimes forgetting to even sing the lyrics because of doing the instruments.

At my worst? Well, imagine a drunk pony struggling to remember the lyrics to a song that’s entirely too confusing to be attempting while smashed. While all the above is still in effect. I can usually nail the chorus, though.

1) It can pretty much be summed up as-

Which I’m allowed to joke about, because I used to be one of those no items/Final Destination pricks. And without even knowing it was a thing!

2) Lyra: Uh…

Bon-Bon: To be clear, you’re the one wearing the suit, right?

3) I’m sure you realize I’m not eating any of that. But I’ll at least take a look at the book.

4) I… I don’t understand. There are places in your world that… don’t?

That doesn’t… That’s like foalnapping an entire country. How can you stop somepony from leaving?

That’s… That’s horrible…

1) You bet I did! And I think I’ve pinned down why I like the show. The character’s react so real within the setting. I mean, when Pearl got [spoiler], the other Gems had that quiet look of [spoiler]. And their voices were just [spoiler], like when something happens that you can’t even conceive. Steven was so lost at what happened he didn’t even understand when the other Gems said [spoiler]. And Pearl herself was in [spoiler]. You could tell she was in [spoiler], but all she wanted to do was reassure Steven that [spoiler]. They’re just such great characters.

2) No~! Steven! It’s alright! This is nothing like that time you called me mom in front of your little friends. And I want you to know that absolutely no one remembers that either.

3) It’s fine! And yeah. I might look at stuff here and there for general ideas, but the whole thing is elitist min/maxers. Taking what should be an expansive game with all kinds of strategies, and boiling it down to damage damage damage. Going so far as to limit or forbid the use of things that create chance. Because it’s not about having fun; it’s about who’s better.

4) A singer in a smokey roo~m. A smell of wine and cheap perfu~me! For a smile they can share the night- It goes On and o~n and o~n and o~n!

5) It’s pretty nice. It has its flaws, like everything else. But it was by no means a bad game. It’s trivial to completely break the combat, such that even on the highest difficulty you’re nearly unkillable. But provided you don’t level up enchanting or potion making too high you can have a fun, balanced time with it.

1) Thanks! And hold on, let me dust this answer off.

Poof. There you go! In all its terribly drawn majesty!

And as always, favorite song post! Come on everypony; sing along! You know this one!

Just a small town gi~rl! Liven in a lo~nely wo~rld! She took the midnight train goin’ a~ny~whe~re!

2) Bon-Bon: Seems like a semi-popular subject to explore. This one caught my interest because it takes more of a cultural look at the experience. It’s told by several ponies from what they know about title character. I’m a little ways in and we still haven’t heard from anypony that’s actually seen it.

3) Well… If I was told this is where I’d be five years ago I could have believed it. But to just think it up myself? No.

4) Nope.

5) I love hugs! Everypony knows that!

6) Sadly, Bon-Bon seems to be the more adventure equip of us two. Sorry. But you’ve been doing pretty well with rocks. Maybe you can make a helmet out of rocks!

Fillies and Gentlecolts, I give you Bon-Bon.

1) Thanks! Mostly it was just a quiet evening. Which, after the day before’s sprawling play to help Rainbow Dash learn, that’s just fine. Bon-Bon says we’ll do something more for it later.

2) Ugh… Never been so glad my birthday was ogre.

3) Nope. I want a new laptop, but I’m waiting for it to go on sale. So Bon-Bon just gave me some money to help pay for it.

4) Thanks! I mean, it’s probably not technically my birthday anyway. It’s just the day we celebrate it. So really, early/late; it doesn’t matter!

5) Thank you! Sorry about the book! Oh, and while I have you, maybe you should take the bag off before Gunrunner gives you a concussion.

1) Haha! It’s okay! It was just a joke! I really don’t mind at all! I wasn’t even expecting to get so many!

2) Thanks! And I hope your wedding tomorrow goes off without a hitch! I mean, aside from getting hitched.

3) Thanks! And I already addressed the rest of this though PM.

4) Why thank you, pink human!

5) Oh my goodness! The entire state of Michigan just wished me a Happy Birthday! That’s insane!

And here’s where I’d put all my birthday recognitions!

1) I haven’t. In fact, I never have. Not even back in Red/Blue/Yellow. Catching all of the Pokemon has never really interested me that much. But with the addition of critical captures, I’m enjoying a few easy catches since I have so many already. Gives more incentive to catch instead of defeat in order to raise the odds.

2) I know, but it was so well received! I just kept making calls and scheduling appointments. And everypony was so receptive!

3) Haha. Turns out Bbz was talking about something else. But I’m glad you remember! And I saw you followed it too!

There’s a number of concepts in place to try and balance the various methods of combat. Since I’ll need to make a post about it eventually, the short version is that while magic, by design, has the widest range of effects possible, each individual spell has to have additional points applied to it (after unlocking) to make it stronger (which in turn increases its cost, if you want to use the stronger version). So you can either have a bunch of different spells, or have a much smaller pool of spells that you’re actually good at.

On the other hoof, while there are much fewer individual physical attacks, while applying points to make them stronger too, you can also augment them to have additional effects that you can turn on or off depending on how much stamina you use. So, in addition to the armor insert effect applied to all of your physical attacks, you can add a knockback, add additional intimation damage, turn it into a multi-hit cleave, or all three at once if the situation calls.

4) Bon-Bon: Well, I could certainly put the attention to better use. I run a business, after all.

Lyra: But no. Fewer bizarre messages. Fewer messages period, really.

Bon-Bon: I haven’t really been paying attention to movies. I have a bunch of books I’ve been collecting during the busy season. Finally getting around to reading them! Reading one right now about a pony that was raised by timberwolves.

1) Bon-Bon: And if I was, I bet Lyra would still find a way to make it about her. If I was- uh-

Lyra: Optimus Prime.

Bon-Bon: Yeah! Optimus Prime! Then she’d be-

Lyra: A [omitted].

Bon-Bon: A dou-…

Lyra: Oh sorry, Shia LaBeouf.

2) Oh my gosh! How do you even remember that?! I haven’t mentioned that on here in like a year! Still working it on, by the way! Not terribly fast, but it’s goin’!

3) Double oh my gosh! Somepony mentioning something sort-of major that happened recently! I got paid for judging on that panel, you know.

Ah yes! We too like the way this celebration looks! ‘Tis most fanciful in its merry use of deceit!

No no. Celebi is a type of Pokemon.

Poe-key-mon? Has some new creature encroached upon Equestria’s borders in my absence?

N-No. They’re not real.

Not real? Do you mean to say ponies still participate in the practice of spreading rumors of the eldritch?

Well… Yes. Technically, but-

Oh wondrous day! We always did enjoy a good tale of chill and fright! Shall we share a few?

I-I don’t know that there’s time-

A celebration would simply not be complete without regaling The Tale of the Filly’s Death-Glare!

Oh dear…

Ah-Hah! A clever ruse has left you baffled at your sudden change in conversation partner! Twas but a guest speaker! Her services, and many others, enlisted in celebration of a day for wily subterfuge! But worry not! For your hosts will soon return and once again attend to your inquiries!

What are you talking about this time, you silly? Though I do appreciate the clarification on that abbreviation. Thanks for taking the time to-

Behold! I, your Princess of the Night, have arrived to participate in your merriment! Present to us our assigned prompt so that we may commence with our entertaining monolog!

Oh! P-Princess Luna! I-er… I had to end the joke early! I, sort of ran out of asks I could use.

Oh… I see…

I’m so sorry, princess.

It is just that, we traveled all this way. Altered our sleeping schedule to make room…

I-uh… I still needed to go back and reply to a few comments. If you wanted, you could join me in-

And so we shall! Ha-hah! ‘Tis high-time we dispel the queer rumors of our frightening nature!

Yeah… Probably don’t want to use the word queer…

Has its conversational use changed as well over the millennia?

Ye- A little.

…Yeees… Fiiight… Destrooooy… Enslaaave…

Charming, as always. You may be surprised to find that even I had a similar experience, though reversed. I conquered Black Tower without so much as a struggle. But, in spite of additional levels gained, was nearly driven from White Treehollow. Of course it was still crushed beneath my hoof, but I’m sure you can see the similarities.

Awesome! So did we!

Oh absolutely. We really must get together and do it again sometime soon. And please don’t fret over any communication issues.

Yeah! We came to play! Not trade life stories.

Not that I would be opposed to trading a few tales.

And could I ever tell you some stories! Like this one time-

Ah haha. Perhaps another time, dear. Oh, but you poor thing! I meant to warn you about that. Those things are simply dreadful! I don’t think Rainbow Dash and I together could bring them down reliably!

Yeah… They kinda hurt. It’s just a shame that my gaming partner is so bad at that game.

Excusez-moi?

I said I’m sure I could have done it with somepony who’s better at video games.

… I will destroy you in Tetrisphere!

Make it Hawken!

It. Is. On!

See? I told you not to go around clicking everything that said free!

But ah… what if this is just the guy that gives out the prizes?

Oh yeah! It was me! I did it!

Hay, wait a minute.

Don’t be silly! Actually, do be silly! Because everyday is a day to be foolish! :D

And goofy. And wacky. And kooky. And ditzy. And qu-

Oh! Oh I get it now! Yeah! Your icon is still crossed out too! ;)

The Great and Powerful Trixie does not require your permission to speak to her heart’s content about whatever subject tickles her fancy. But, since you are in such need of aid, The Great and Powerful Trixie supposes she can spare a moment from her busy schedule to indulge.

Hatching the Pokemon eggs is easily the most boring and time consuming part of Pokemon breeding. Simply carry five eggs at once, and a Pokemon with the Flame Body or Magma Armor ability. As you must always carry a Pokemon with you at all times, only a foal would waste their time hatching eggs without such an addition.

As each egg of the desired Pokemon hatches, if they do not possess the desired Nature/Ability, then release. By that time you will likely be able to acquire another egg and continue. As it is a continuous sequence, Trixie recommends you bicycle back and forth along the same route as the daycare to speed up the process of hatching, release, and procurement.

As far as leveling the newly hatched Pokemon, if you are in a rush, re-battling the Elite Four and Champion, along with attaining the maximum rank in the Battle Chateau will allow you to fight the highest level trainers available. Simply give the desired Pokemon the Lucky Egg and open every encounter with said Pokemon; switching them in and out as each opponent’s Pokemon is defeated.

However, The Great and Powerful Trixie must caution you. Always EV train your Pokemon first using your preferred method.

As for the remainder of your plebeian rambling, The Great and Powerful Trixie does not know of any Lyra or Bon-Bon. However were she, however unlikely it may be, somehow stricken down with physical injury, she would not oppose to being waited on in admiration by her adoring fans. Not that she isn’t already.

Princess Twilight Sparkle? She’s from where?

This is dumb. It’s probably not even a real show.

Why do they always ask that? I’m just a pony!

Bon-Bon? I don’t know about that, but I bet Scootaloo’s mother is.
Hey!

I know the answer to that. But I bet you three don’t!

… Ser'ously? I live on a farm.

How am I thuppothed to know what thong that ith?

It-sounds-like-a-radial-awesome-episode-and-I-absolutely-cannot-wait-until-this-friday!

Dear Mike Dawson,

It can sometimes be difficult to stand apart from the crowd and resist falling for the latest trend. A lesson my friend Rarity has learned more than once, but I had yet to discover myself. In an effort to stay ‘hip’, I was willing to try just about anything to keep everypony on my side! But I’ve found that if you truly believe in yourself, you have no need to jump aboard every bandwagon you come across. In time, your true friends will rally behind you for your unique and individual style.

Your faithful Princess,

Twilight Sparkle

Oh… They… really aren’t. Spike was just trying to be nice. Although, maybe he feels alone sometimes too? Like, maybe he was trying to reach out to someone new because he feels so lonely and unappreciated.

Oh dear, I guess the girls and I do sort of exclude him a lot in our activities. O~h, now I feel just awful.

Oh my gosh! I saw! I know it was before my time, but I love Homestar Runner! And my favorite character is Homestar Runner too! It was a real treat to see him dancing around on screen again! I used to love seeing how he would always best Strongbad, without even trying! Because the good guys always win! What did you think, Gilda?

I think you need to chill out, dweeb. I don’t even know why you wasted my time showing me that lame cartoon. Except for the blood. That was sort of cool. And the bold eagle thing was sort of funny, I guess. Laughing at speech impediments never gets old. Though it does take out some of the fun when they’re laughing at themselves.

Well lan’ sakes, big fella! You sure had me by the tail!

How’s that wrestlin’ business of yours goin’, sugarcube? You know, Big Mac was gonna try out wrestlin’ once upon a time, but the poor guy chickened out at the last minute. I think he still has the mask. Saw it aroun’ here somewhere’s the other day.

They still use masks in wrestlin’, righ’?