Ask Lyra

1) Yep. I liked that blog myself and would love to see it active again! But I understand when ponies and… cats? Are busy?

2) Lyra: That sounds creepy.

Bon-Bon: Hello, Black Strawberry.

3) Ha! Yeah, it sort of does! Sir Lintalot drew it for me! I think it’s supposed to be a lyre with wings. At least, that’s what I see.

Do you like Pokemon, Trixie?

Fluttershy…?

… Trixieshy…?

1) Bon-Bon: Assistant? I own my own business. Why in Celestia’s mane would I be the assistant?

Lyra: Hey, if you wanna take point as a defendant you go right ahead.

2) Yeah, this one. And this is the artist who drew her updates. He’s busy and Sweetie’s busy too. Sorry, not much more I can say. Maybe they’ll do updates again one day, maybe they won’t. Couldn’t hurt to send an ask to the artist if you’re interested, though.

3) I wasn’t offended before, but it’s your business; I guess.

I imagine the fish probably look pretty different down there, what with the bone-crushing pressure.

1) Ah! Why are you caps-locking at me?! She’s fine! She’s right here! See? Just hangin’ out with Kirby.

2) Bon-Bon: And Lyra couldn’t?

Lyra: That’s right. Instead of resolving the situation, just jam that stick right into the beehive.

Bon-Bon: Lyra told me what the ask said and I joined in for that answer. I don’t just look through her inbox.

Lyra: Thank you.

3) Lyra: You can’t or you won’t?

Bon-Bon: Ah, the joy of ancient maps.

Lyra: Uh huh…

1) Then use your grabbers! </Bmo voice>

Everytime a Lyra mentions fingers or hands, a fandom jumps a shark.

2) That’s alright! I was curious, though. Thanks for letting me know! Hope you get things sorted out soon!

3) Bon-Bon: What are you going to do? Send her your tax information without asking first? For that matter, what do you expect me to do with it? I’ve never filed my own taxes. Before Lyra, I just hired somepony to do it for me.

4) Old maps you say? Any idea what they’re maps of? Ancient land formations? Migration patterns? Plant growth?

Sorry I haven’t done much. A friend and coworker I’ve spent a lot of time with this year was diagnosed with cervical cancer and I hadn’t even had a chance to talk to her until today. Hadn’t really been in the best spirits.

But other than the one point during the day when we talked about it, she seemed absolutely the same. Like nothing was even wrong at all. I don’t even know if that’s good sign or not.

Anyway, I’ll get back to thing here shortly.

1) Bon-Bon: Oh! I know this one! Where’s the Mountain Dew?!

Lyra: No, Bon-Bon, that was befor-

Bon-Bon: Where are the Cheetos?!

Lyra: And that was before that! I-

Bon-Bon: Are there any girls there?

Lyra: Bon-Bon, for the love of Celest-

Bon-Bon: Okay… But-if-there’s-any-girls-there-I-want-to-d-!

2) Thank you! Let me know how things turn out!

3) “Well, at least you didn’t bother using asterisks for your narrated command,” Lyra replied with a flippant, dismissive flick of her hoof.

1) Thank you, Rainbow! If it makes you feel any better, most of the new followers I have still follow me. Some older followers unfollowed me instead. That or closed their accounts.

2) When’s the last time I watched a sunrise…?

3) Nu-uh! I cast Mordenkainen’s Faithful Watchdog! I’d have known they were coming!

4) Well, that’s one way to live a life. Keeps ya active and attentive at least!

Not the life for me, though.

1) I swear to Celestia, if this is another grimdark tumblr…

… [Omitted]! Stop sending me this stuff!

2) Well, yes and no. Yes, waiting a little bit can give tempers a chance to cool and make apologies smoother and more sincere. No, you can’t just pretend nothing ever happened. Those can become these things called “grudges,” and those are bad.

Of course, I’m assuming the question is about if you’re sorry for making them mad. If you intentionally cheese somepony off to force them around or make a point, I don’t know what to tell you.

3) Oh my Cels, you ponies look for mysteries where there isn’t any! He doesn’t have a secret identity! B is his identity! The only reason he can’t tell you his former identity is because he’s supposed to be dead! How would you feel if your son died; you saw him buried. And suddenly, “Oop, he’s not dead. He’s been alive this whole time! But you can never see him again or acknowledge his existence because you might be targeted.”

4) “Oh, you know. Just hangin’ out on a volcano. Chillin’ with a dragon. No big.”

You kill me, Strawberry. For anypony else that would be a once-in-a-lifetime event. For you, it’s just “Oh yeah, there’s a blizzard too. No big whoop.”

Great to hear that you’re doing well!

—

Also, hello and bye to all the new followers I just got! Sorry if you thought this was a decent tumblr! It’s really not. Take care, though!

1) Ebonics can have a lot of dialects, depending on region.

2) Sink the ship when it nears land. ‘Cause I have magic.

If you were expecting a serious answer, you didn’t give enough information.

3) Yes yes. Right.

I didn’t care for Samurai Warriors and I never played Orochi. The Gundam variation was alright, but I didn’t like how weak the traditionally ranged mechs were and the focus on dodging instead of blocking.

1) I know, right? I was pretty upset.

2) I knew what you meant. If I were to hazard a guess, since they did fix it, they’re probably working on adding different search filters and “most notes” got pushed to default by accident.

3) Why didn’t I think to do that? Oh well.

4) Well, of course. Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Ma Chao, Zhao Yu, Wei Yan, Huang Zhong. I mean, Zhao Yu is the whole reason the series was created!

Shu has some of the best scenes.

5) Strawberry! Hey! How’s it going?

I seriously doubt that it was a glitch. For a newer member or somepony just searching the tag for the first time, the posts with the most notes usually have something visual to look at. And that’s more appealing to draw in new members.

But if they’re fixing it, I don’t really care if it was intentional or not. Thanks for the info! Hope it turns out to be true!

Edit: A~nd it’s already fixed! Yay!

Well, I used to watch the asklyra tag in case someone posted anything about me, but I guess it’s useless now. Tags are now sorted in order of notes instead of chronologically.

If anyone knows a way to switch the ordering, I’d be delighted to hear it?

Edit: Evidently they changed it back. I’ll keep watching the tag!

Temporary new avatar.

Because.

I find most conversations about video games to be dull and boring, but you’ll have to excuse me while I go off on a tangent.

Dynasty Warriors is a series that takes place in your world’s ancient China. It’s about the events leading up to and subsequent war that took place over the course of about a hundred years.

It’s an action arcade-style beat-em-up. The mechanical draw of the games are the shear numbers of active units on screen at once. You’re literally up against hundreds of enemies at a time, with thousands placed throughout the map. On the easiest setting, you can wade through just about anything and decimate the battlefield. On the harder settings you need to pay attention to the objectives, troop placement, any requests for aid, all while fighting against hordes of enemies that can easily whittle you down, or enemy generals that can drop you in a combo or two.

The voice acting and choreography in cutscenes are super cheesey. There’s such a volume of characters that many wind up being lack-luster; with personalities that are no deeper than a puddle. A lot of the fights are historically inaccurate on a grand scale. But it is just so… all-in, over-the-top, ridiculously framed, fast-paced fun that I’ve been a fan since the series started proper with Dynasty Warriors 2.

And each one has had a different flavor, as far as game modes. 3 was my favorite up until 7, but it looks like 8 is going to top that in spades.

That was a lot more text than I originally intended. Here’s the final battle music to 7. Which is, like, the best track from the whole dang series.

1) Praying Mantis Stick-Figure Pony: GO!

2) Little more time. I’m sort of waiting for something.

3) Oh, gosh. There’s so many. I’ll just pick my favorites from each kingdom. Pang Tong from Shu, Zhang He from Wei, Taishi Ci from Wu, Sima Shi from Jin, and Meng Huo among the other factions.

Wu’s my favorite side, though. I got so many favorites in Wu. And oh my Cels! We finally get to play as Lu Su! And Li Dian! And Zuo Ci from 5 is coming back! And every character has their own weapon plus the weapon switch system from 7 on top of that! There’s 70 characters! That’s 70 different weapons! 70 different fighting styles!

I will say I was a little surprised to see Lu Su playable, but not Cheng Pu. Maybe he’ll be playable in the next one.

4) I’m so stoked! I shouldn’t have read so much about it! I can’t stand the wait!

Oh my Cels! I just found out Dynasty Warriors 8 is coming to Equestria in 3 months and it will be available on 360! I’m so excited! I was nervous they might not release it here at all.

1) I’ll lift a chimney stack with my magic and drop it on your noggin.

2) Ugh… No. That’s something a wise pony would do.

3) You are absolutely right. This is a wonderful little blog. I’d like to think I share a lot of Boggle’s views. Not sure how well that’d all pan out in practice for me, though.

1) Why not ask him? He doesn’t seem to get very many questions.

2) Then I’d kill them both in a fit of jealousy and rage. You wanted to hear something like that, right?

What kind of question is this anyway? That’s a horrible thing to suggest!

3) I wouldn’t know.

Oh, that says fabulous. I thought it said famous. I was making a play-on-words.

But I wouldn’t know.

1) Thanks! It’s okay that this was late, it was nice seeing you at my party in Bearville!

2) Okay.

I hate you. You’re a butt. I should draw a line down your head so it looks like a butt.

3) It was work. Pretty sure the song is just there to spread cheer. Because it’s not fun. It’s work.

4) While I worked as an ambianic musician at the castle I sometimes played during social events with foreign parties present. They would be catered to specially.

I don’t know. There’s something about it that immediately clicked in my head when I bit into it. It didn’t just taste bad, it felt fleshy.

5) Legion? Grouping of military units numbering in five to six thousand ponies, isn’t it? That is a little weird to ban.

Or it would be, if not for that whole Anonymous thing.

6) B: You’ve got all your pieces set up, but you’ve yet to locate your opponent’s.

1) Thank you!

2) If you don’t have the patience to wait and obviously have no moral compass, chemical warfare seems to be the best answer. Something you can carry for a long time and still be devastating that can also be spread quickly and discretely before raising any alarm, but diverse enough that it can’t be vaccinated.

3) Probably bad. I can’t think of anything specific that was recent.

4) That’s okay. I’ve played this game before. You can go now.

5) Ordinarily I’d delete this second message under the assumption that it was sent either on accident or as assurance. But I know better.

6) I’ll have to get B to address this when I get back home. I’m sure he’d have something to say.

1) Didn’t get it. What in Equestria could it possibly be?

2) I haven’t played it. I know about it. I know it’s a fantastic game. But I never got the chance.

3) Well, I suppose it’s possible. Never really thought about it before.

Hee hee. It’s funny, because I’m not really interested in whether I do or not! Guess that’s sort of telling, huh?

4) That depends; how long were you back there?

5) Shrimp Cocktail. This is going to sound really stupid, but I didn’t realize shrimp was meat. I thought it was some kind of undersea plant!

Took one bite and started dry heaving.

6) I clearly own a santa hat, you ding-dong. It’s in my avatar!

7) I suppose so. Something serious that doesn’t involve death.

.

1) I think I can take a hint better than that. Also, what was that pink thing?

2) Don’t feel like logging into my Youtube account and I can’t watch it unless I do.

3) I have no idea who that is, so no.

4) I’m not embarrassed for [omitted], but that’s not polite conversation.

5) Okay. So that was a thing that somepony made.

6) Way to always expect the worst there, Morbid Macabre.

1) That just makes me special.

I’d follow you, if not for the occasional, untagged, NSFW doodle.

2) Well, we’re not exactly here under partying conditions. It’s sort of serious, but I don’t know that I should talk about it.

At the rate things are going though, we’ll wind up being here on the 6th for my birth-…

… Krastos… If this all ends up being some elaborate plot to throw a surprise birthday party for me, I cannot express how [omitted] off I would be.

Oh mare… I must have fallen into a Cheeto/Dorito/Mountain Dew coma after playing CoD for fourteen hours. Is it nighttime again already?

Looks like I have some messages.

1) Well yeah. This is supposed to be an improvement, after all.

2) Pfft. Art is lame. The only thing that matters is dark grays and real… realist… [Cough] [Cough] Sorry, having difficulty even saying that one.

3) I don’t even know who you are. Probably from some artsy game with one of those “story” things. Pfft. I mean, yeah. Pfft. Whatevs.

4) What a forced meme.

5) I don’t know what any of that was. The robot looked like an X-Box, though.

6) What is this garbage? Sissy little slow-paced strategy game? Need to play a big girl’s game like Madden. In fact, forget this. I’m going to go play some tackle football with my friends. You guys are dorks.

—

I’ll be honest. Sort of had a hard time with these last two posts. Was sort of all over the place. Hard to portray something I know so little about. The “hardcore gamer” is really a human phenomenon, and I guess I sort of abandoned it at the end? I’m not even sure. Plus I’m in Bearville right now so I haven’t had a whole lot of time to prepare.

Anyway, Happy “holiday”-that-is-sort-of-spooky-with-how-well-it’s-received-over-your-internet!

So, I had an epiphany yesterday and have decided to turn this into a regular blog.

It will be about the only kind of video game with any merit; Shooters! But not just any shooter. Online Shooters you’ve probably never even heard of so can’t possibly relate to!

So sit back while I yammer on about Blacklight: Retribution, Firefall, and Warframe; using condescending terminology that you couldn’t possibly comprehend unless you already played the game!