Ask Lyra

1) After you were old enough, you either became one of the older kids that looked out for the younger ones, putting your life on the line, or you walked quickly everywhere and hid.

I didn’t walk fast enough.

It lasted until I got this scar I cover up on my stomach, and it ended the way it began. I may not have always been shackled, but I was enslaved for a long time.

2) Because she moved back home.

… I miss her.

3) Too overt. She’s way more passive aggressive than that. Plus, she doesn’t hate me. She just thinks I’m a useless drain-on-society. At least that’s what I coxed out of Bon-Bon once.

4) Hmm…

5) Ow. I used to know a stallion that loved that game, but I never played it.

6) I dunno. I guess I’m supposed to be a pillar of virtue or something, in which circumstances are ignored and all things must be equal.

I’m lazy, I’m nosy, I don’t have a proper education, my grades were poor, I was promiscuous, and let’s be honest, I’ve contradicted myself more than once. I don’t know why anypony would look up to me.

1) The video.

My response.

2) My response.

3) You triggered my reaction ability, Spell Reflect, which always has a 100% chance of blocking and reflecting the first spell used against me that’s damage exceeds my maximum health. Enjoy.

4) You’re welcome, though how many interpretations have you heard?

5) I know you are, mate. Yup.

6) Well now that’s not fair to judge somepony based on the tumblrs they follow. I don’t follow any tumblrs with explicit content, but that doesn’t mean I don’t check any. I just hold myself to a higher public standard than most.

All-in-all it just sounds like your typical game-minded amateur RP character that was created based on mechanical ability rather than personality. Though after checking the page myself, decidedly not work-safe.

1) [Omiiiiiiiiiiiiited]! Alright fine. Whatever. At least I can talk about peaches now. I love peaches!

2) O rly den?

3) Huh. I mean yeah; Ditzy and Carrot have been family friends for as long as I’ve known them. But I don’t know who that stallion is. In fact, I’ve never seen him at all before. And that first picture looks like it was taken in Ponyville too.

4) Mako! I know him! He played Aku!

Gonna have to go with Aku.

5) Sam and Max is good! Pretty sure I’ve done this joke before but I won’t let that stop me!

6) Do I think a poorly conceived, abstract characterization of our princess, defined by committing various acts of sexual assault, would be a good ruler?

… I’m sure she’s had plenty of practice measuring the length of somethin’.

1) Hey Rainbow! Ice was a little thinner than I thought it’d be, but no worries! Nothing bad happened! And it’s always nice to be compared to somepony like Octavia.

2) Hey! Looks good! Little confusing with all the little light things floating around but it’s awesome to see it in motion!

3) Hm. Interesting line. To be honest, I’m not quite sure what to make of it. The line seems to accept the notion that evil is a societarian construct used to distinguish actions and thought processes, but does so without overtly acknowledging it. Further, that it can be used as a proverbial “banner” to march behind toward a common, nefarious goal. And to be honest, I’d never thought of that much before.

4) Are you nuts? I love Krastos, but everypony knows to stay away from Tier 15!

5) Cool! I mean, I was going anyway, but now I can bring Krastos and Bon-Bon!

6) Strawberry, I’m only warning you because I love you.

7) No. That sounds horrible. Again. When the day comes and Krastos and I move in together, I still don’t want to be around him every second of every day. Krastos and I can have some very different interests and we need time apart to pursue them.

For my money, that’s the main reason for couples breaking up. You gotta have ‘me’ time.

1) I don’t recognize that name. Have anything by them to share? I may have heard something by them and not known it.

2) I… Don’t even remember why I wasn’t answering that. Couldn’t have been that bad. Yeah. Fine. I like peaches. What did I just admit to?

3) … Pfft-! Bwa~h Ha Ha Ha Ha~! Oh! Oh Cels! Hah Hahahahaha! Oh wait, you’re serious?

A pony’s cutie mark is a representation of a talent, not a mutation. Even if such a thing could happen, it wouldn’t be their special talent.

4) Good idea, Moneypenny. Wait, wrong franchise. Ninety-Nine?

5) Is it annoying? Yeah. Was it better before? Yeah. But it’s really not that big of a deal. At least for what I use it for. But then again I rarely reblog, which is the main problem I’ve heard besides older computers/poor internet connection.

6) Excuse you. Technically unicorns are a minority too. Most ponies are earth ponies.

7) I don’t know for certain. It’s probably part of it, but there probably isn’t just one answer either.

1) Hey now! Addicted is a strong word!

2) Not really much for book readin’. I read plenty of stuff. I just prefer, you know, interactive formats. Like games!

3) Uh huh… Well, I imagine they’d do quite a burst of damage in the short term, considering they lie belligerently, before Pinkie Pie inevitably employs some sure-fire method for their complete and total destruction.

4) Not this Discord-being-free business again. Like I wouldn’t know something catastrophic like that had happened.

5) Only at having horns and using magic with them.

6) Ever? It’s done out of necessity, not because I want to. If I never had to do it again it’d save me plenty of time. And while I’ve never put off answering a question because there was inappropriate wording or subject matter being used, I have had to put off answering a set of questions entirely because I didn’t have enough time during that session on tumblr to prepare them.

7) I noticed! I saw you in my followers list and was a little confused at first before I investigated.

1) Okay. So this one time I was watching somepony else play Deus Ex: Invisible War, and he was dragging somepony’s body around and decided to put them in a burning trashcan. Well, something in the physics bugged (very common back then) when he did it, and the trashcan slowly tilted backward… Then lurched forward and flung the body through the air, ragdolling and on fire, off into the distance!

But that wasn’t the end. About an hour later he stumbles upon the wreckage of a huge robot with a burning corpse smack dab in the middle of it. We all busted out laughing!

2) How about we not talk about that?

3) Sounds like I was right to avoid it. I don’t like horror anything.

4) Close enough.

5) “Who writes this [omitted]?”

6) Remember that one bathroom scene from Liar Liar (mild language)? Basically that.

1) If I’m being completely honest, I don’t think she much cares for you.

2) I believe I said something to that effect word-for-word once before.

3) The what-of-where now?

4) Want me to just start dropping random, unsourced lines and see how you like it?

5) I wouldn’t know for certain. You could try asking Krastos, but I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t answer.

You know, because it’s less than none of your business.

6) Sounds like a lot of lessons cropped up in rapid succession. You don’t suppose they were linked, do you?

7) I can’t imagine why you were jumped.

Wait, what was that part about Sweet Apple Acres flooding twice?

1) And I won’t.

2) I’m so terribly surprised that somepony went there after I used the word benefit. That’s never happened before!

3) Why can’t it be good company? Or delightful company? I’d love some delightful company!

4) No thank you.

5) Not bad. I feel it could be better. But I think I’ve realized why I tend to shy away from human Japanese rock. They seem to place a greater importance on the vocalist, such to the point that it overshadows the rest of the sound while the lead is singing. Nothing wrong with that, just not my preference.

6) Certainly! Then again Scribblenauts isn’t the most difficult game out there.

7) Did you know that neither select nor start was originally part of the code? Select was just how you changed Contra to two player, and Start was how you began the game.

8) Right. Sorry.

9) I’ve never found anything on The Onion funny out of every time I’ve been linked there. I’m not sayin’. I’m just sayin’. Know what I’m sayin’, saiyan?

!1) What are you talking about? Where’s your sources?

2) If I’m judging a book by its cover, which I’d have to do in order to answer without already having watched it, I’d say no.

3) Create? Definitely not. Join? I can’t imagine being invited.

4) Artistic representations; though I suppose one of the other Lyra’s might have.

5) Are you serious? The barrel, duh! Only took me three or four tries on that train mission. But that barrel… Of course, this was another fun one.

6) Of course! Right! Yeah.

7) Is… Is that wrong? I mean, I took care of her for over a year. Now all I have left of her is her dog.

Her parents didn’t want Simple.

8) Actually, no. Her parents live on the other side of town, closer to Rarity. It’s not like it’s out of walking distance or anything! Just, you know… further away than you’d go without having a specific reason to…

I have… well, news. It’s not bad news. It’s good news! Well… Yeah.

I met with Sweetie Belle’s parents today and they’ve decided they’d rather look after her themselves. The time they spent with her while she was sick showed them how important she was to them and they’ll be traveling a lot less. Which is good! This is everything Sweetie needed in her life and more! I mean, I’ll miss her of course. But… This is good for her…

I’ll still see her, just you know, not as often.

Anyway, I…

…

That’s all.

1) Employed full time with benefits.

2) I suppose it would depend more on the size of the country and the disposition of its natives.

3) Well, thanks. I try to be.

4) Can you have a best meme? When a meme is too good it becomes so wide spread it eventually just winds up annoying due to overexposure.

Pretty sure the worst was and is “the cake is a lie.” The lemon thing following close behind. You ponies drive things so far into the ground that I’ve no doubt you could ruin chocolate.

5) Half past never.

6) Just what I always wanted!

GET OVER HERE!

7) The satirical stage performance or did you just mean in general?

1) Is that pre or post Tiger Blood?

2) You know, it’s funny. Bon-Bon told me just last night about that really being an RC plane.

3) This image search turned out better than I hoped.

4) Yeah, I heard that was getting a remake too.

5) Why would I want to? You’re not hurting anything. I’d rather not be told about it, is all.

6) Royalty has to look royal. When you publicly display normality you lose some of your authority.

7)

1) Pfft. Right. The rumors some ponies spread, I swear.

2) Nah. A true demon walks it off.

Speaking of which, I had the day off because of snow yesterday and finished Nocturne on hard mode- true demon ending! Lucifer gave me a scare a few times! I didn’t know he could remove buffs and debuffs!

3) It’s probably for the best.

4) Full circle!

5) A link to the picture and track! When I first read the message, I though it said melody instead of medley and was a little confused. Thanks, though!

1) My hair is on fire! My hair is on fire! My hair is on fire! My hair is on fire!

2) If you feel the need to label something so strongly, keep it to yourself. I am who I am and I never asked for my life to be categorized.

3) No, but I remember that commercial!

4) ke ke ke ke ke!

5) I have no idea what you accidentally this time.

6) Let me break it down for you.

#I-forgot-that-your-muse-is-so-strong-it-gained-self-awareness

1) I don’t think so. I haven’t noticed anything, and I’m pretty good with this.

Like that Discord attack where ponies were acting like the events lasted for a week when it really was only about six hours long. Now how they knew it was going to happen in the first place, I have no idea, but it certainly didn’t last that long.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say it was a byproduct of not knowing the outcome of a situation before jumping on a bandwagon. But I’m a patient sort.

2) I hope I can dance better than that.

3) [Five Minutes Later]

Want me to put in Mickey Mouse Safari in Letterland?

1) Like you couldn’t find three hundred artistic interpretations before I could grab a camera. If I was going to.

2) She was really confused and I have no idea if it’s real or not. I mean it’s probably not but the food is obviously real.

I don’t think we got whatever joke was there. Sorry.

3) Followed!

4) I was explaining to Bon-Bon how I didn’t know what this video was going to be and then this happened.

She laughed.

5) Any argument as to why?

6) I told you to quit stealing my mares. I needed those for the hard part!

1) I still subscribe to the City of Ponies belief that influence is power.

2) Nah. Will take some time before my system is completely back to normal, but I’m alright.

3) Uh… A while I guess. I usually drink water from a bottle.

4) Level six?! A~H!

5) Can I get some lyrics here?

1) Yeah, but it’s a little different if it really exists.

2) If you’re casting a spell, you need to capitalize proper names. It’s not hug; it’s Hug.

3) Thanks! I like the way swing rhythm sounds! Just wish it wasn’t so hard to do.

4) Glad you like it! Not the track I was originally working on for you, but it’s the best I could do for now.

1) Well, it was going to be next Tuesday, but somepony just ruined it. Now I’ll have to move things around.

2) This is my favorite kind of question. Really. I just love thinking about this.

3) Well played, little filly.

4) I’m sorry. I’m not used to differing economic models. Could you explain?

5) Somewhere between two and seven percent, I imagine. I’m only guessing, though.

6) None that come to mind.

7) Oh sweetheart, you opened up my eyes.

But that is still a stupid name.

1) Elementary, my dear Jacob.

2) Okay. Following you so far.

3) According to your human french history, a rebellion. Pretty dangerous stuff.

4) Depending on interpretation of the term “king,” there were some rulers that thought they were gods. Further, what are the powers of the god?

I think I see where you’re going with this, though.

5) If the god actually exists, they’re still a god. Doesn’t matter if you believe in a wasp’s nest or not, they’ll still tear you up if you get too close. The question is if it’s real or not.

6) I was gathering information about quality, faculty, facility, residents; somepony else gathered information about any orphans that still lived on the streets, among other things. There were a number of towns without any orphanages, and there were supposed to be efforts to correct that in the works, but things have been held up so many times I don’t know if they’ll ever really go through with it. Red tape.

But I needed a reason to get away from Canterlot.

7) Save up? Yeah. Let’s see if I can get out of the red first. That’s why I was looking forward to the trip with my bearfriend. I can’t afford any of this stuff. But we had to cancel it.

Not sure how much I’d want to go “exotic,” but I’d certainly like to visit somewhere else at a slower pace.

Thanks for the offer, though! That was nice!

8) My bearfriend being cold as ice, fillies and gentlecolts.

1) Thanks. Always nice to meet a fan.

2) Love you too, anon.

3) Well, it is still wintery… I could change it back for now.

4) Are good at boxing.

5) I neither confirm nor deny any information about my person without explicit knowledge before hoof of the details in question.

6) O~h, there’s been a few times…

But of course I’d never, Strawberry.

7) Sorry, I don’t mean for you to be tailoring posts to me. I just like your drawings!

8) La la la! I can’t hear you…!

Read you.

I can’t read you! Eyes are cloeasefde!@

1) I finished Krastos’ present, but now I’m not sure if I want to give it to him or not. He’s going to be really busy… He won’t get to use it. Maybe I should just try to find something to buy after all.

2) Regrettably.

3) Sounds like a minor misunderstanding. This was less of a vacation-type thing and more of an information gathering-type thing. I was specifically gathering information about orphanages.

There were several of us in each group as we traveled. Whole thing took place over only a few weeks. We were rarely in a town for a day; sometimes went through a few. Barely got to see or do anything. Extremely low funded operation. We had to even bring non-perishable food with us for nearly the whole trip.

As sort of a celebration, though, we ate at a cheaper restaurant and I got these parmesan noodles with spaghetti sauce? That was good! I’ve had it a few times since then.

Immediately after that was when I was employed as an ambonic musician.

4) I guess being walked around the hallways of the castle from one room to another. I had to be shifted around a lot. Pretty fantastic place, if you’ve never been though.

5) Well, I got through the introduction. That is a lot to look through, even without the text rips. I wasn’t aware that Ion Storm had a bad reputation at the time. I never played the game on computer, only PS2, so I got a hold of it quite a while after it first launched.

6) That’s what we called them back in the streets, and they didn’t seem to care. They referred to themselves the same way. But once I moved to Ponyville everypony was all “You can’t say that! That’s offensive!” So… I dunno. Regional, I guess.

So, I was gonna do this thing where I didn’t post for a while, then ponies would reread the last post and see the last answer and then they’d be all “Oh no! You weren’t serious, were you Lyra? Please come back! We love you!”

Only that didn’t happen… I update everyday, but I didn’t make a post for just shy of three days and nopony said anything about it…

I’m cry.

But you didn’t see me cry.

1) New Horseleans? Please be joking. That can’t exist. A good and just Celestia wouldn’t allow it.

2) A couple of years ago when I was with my last coltfriend. I didn’t trust him.

He was clean, though. ‘Bout the only positive thing about the guy…

3) Would probably get a less bias opinion from bear-bear.

4) Yay! What do I win?!

5) As long as you don’t call me Johnson.

6) Because we don’t want to execute them. We just want them to leave us alone.

7) I don’t think you do. I think it’s a want; not a need.

While all the other tumblrs are all

Source

when they do a 666 followers post, Ask Sir Lint-Alot is all “Screw that! I’m jolly! Anypony want fan-art?! Just say the word!”

1) And why would I do that?

2) Well, according to Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne, the good “neutral” ending is that there is no “reason”. The purpose of being is freedom in union. This doesn’t mean we have the right or even ability to do whatever we want, but that there isn’t one path set out for us to follow. We all possess the freedom to pick and choose where to go and who to associate with.

If you’re looking for a reason to live, look inward and create a reason. Do you want to gain? Do you want to help others? Do you want to experience? Do you want to cause change? These are all possible, though scaled depending on your resources or other limitations.

I personally live for the experience. It’s simple and only requires as much from you as you’re willing to put forth, but it works. There’s always more to see and do.

3) Did you fall on your head? There’s already tons of Lyras!

4) Like, the planet? I think Princess’ Celestia and Luna could just move the planet back.

5) She didn’t say they couldn’t sing. She said the song wasn’t very good.

6) No. I had to stay with Bon-Bon and Tootsie. Krastos came over, though. We had a quiet evening together.

7) Yes! [omitted] yes! HA! Ha ha! I [omitted] win! This tumblr is over! I’m the winner! I win all the things! HA! Ha ha ha ha ha~!

1) It took him a solid thirty seconds to even start his attack! I could have defeated him in that time!

2) That doctor’s a quack. That’s like telling somepony who’s addicted to ketchup to eat more ketchup.

3) Uh huh… Well, thanks for the warning.

4) We haven’t yet. We pushed back the gift giving because I was sick for so long. But I’m almost done! I made this one!

5) Let me just pause you right there at the beginning: “Something will be done because it should be done,” is not an argument.

As for the rest, I could argue, but I’d rather agree. Your society constantly covers up information that’s recorded until a later date to protect those involved. What’s the difference? It doesn’t mean the information isn’t being kept, just not released.

6) No! No! It’s a place! I didn’t! You can’t tell! Stop! Please! Don’t! I-I don’t wanna get in trouble!

Also, Miss Princess Shining Armor was a nice touch.

7) Senpai! Uguu~!

I don’t even know what I’m saying. What am I doing anymore?

1) I’m such a nag that sometimes I forget when and who I’ve nagged lately.

Because I nag all the time.

Things are fine. Just trying to spend some time together before he starts on his doctorate.

Doctor Arctos.

2) Well I think he’s cute. I wonder if he’ll ever notice me.

That’s… That’s the tumblr joke, right? Senpai or somethin’?

3) Ya~y!

4) It’s supposed to be gold, and because that’s my eye, cutie mark, and magic color. Not that there’s anything wrong with purple.

5) Then my last name sucks.

6) Bon-Bon told me the song they sang at that reunion wasn’t very good.

7) … What? What is this about and where is it coming from?