Ask Lyra

Salu~t, Man From My Past!

If Bon-Bon becomes the Queen of Canterlot, does that make her Ruler of Equestria?

Also, I want a Prius.

What’s a Prius?

1) I completely agree. Unless you have somepony wise and ageless to carry the burden (instead of use it as a tool), no society has any business giving one pony that much power.

2) A black and white world were such a thing can exist.

3) What’s the appeal? It just seems to add negativity and conflict for no reason than to spice things up. What’s the point; what’s at stake?

4) The fiend…

5) I don’t know what you’re talking about. Mostly because everypony gets a cutie mark.

6) No~!- I mean, what porn?

1) Then I’m a very advanced… robot… Whatever all the rest of that stuff you said. It wouldn’t change anything.

2) I need to find out who keeps spreading these rumors.

3) How about I draw a line down your head so it looks like a butt?

4) Cutie mark acquisition has no bearing on sexual development. There is a relative correlation, but it’s only linked to age and the mental maturity that usually comes with it.

5) It sounds to me like you need some help. This is a very special song that somepony sang to me once, and I think it’s just the thing you need to get you back on the right track to life.

6) No I don’t have a fear of peanut butter getting stuck to the roof of my mouth! It’s just annoying!

And I’ve had just bread with butter before; it’s awful! And toast without butter is awful. It’s only when toast and butter combine that something special can form that all can enjoy.

7) Just because I can walk bipedally doesn’t mean I’m walking like a human.

1) No! I mean, I’ve never-… It doesn’t-… It’s not supposed to!

2) No it’s not! Getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth is awful!

And I’m not trying to say you’re the only one that eats their untoasted bread with butter, but there’s no way that everypony does.

Oh, my Cels. I used to know this colt that would just eat a stick of butter like a banana. Freakin’ ew! Is that even filling? What’s the point of that?

3) Goo~d.

4) Salut, Scoota-… Wait a minute… Are you from that same alternate dimension/time fluctuation as Pumpkin and Pound Cake?

5) Da [omitted] is wrong with you?!

6) Sounds very stock market-y, no thanks.

1) It makes you petty and prone to trivial acts of selfishness.

2) Nope. Only played 2 and 3. I heard 1 was really good.

3) I was going to do this joke where I referenced the end of the Powerpuff Girls episode with Beebo (who you only feed once) where at the end The Mayor is all, “Once a day!” And then after being corrected he’s all “Oh, okay- Once in a while!” And then the Professor takes the Beebo and says “You can’t have one.”

But then I stumbled upon this.

4) To be honest, I’d never heard of it before. Seems kinda silly, I know! But just because I’d never heard of it doesn’t mean it isn’t popular. Boscov would probably be the one to ask. He knows things like that.

5) Hold please…

1) Wait, what? Just butter on bread? I thought we were talking about toast. Do you put butter on plain bread?

And why wouldn’t you put the jelly on top? If the peanut butter is on top it’ll get stuck to the roof of your mouth.

2) I work as a substitute aid when I can find a listing. Outside of being sick last week I’ve been at the same school since the year started in this district on the 4th.

3) It was an initial no, followed by a pause to really think about it, finished with a well thought-out no.

4) Fishing for what?

krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: 1)…

And risk getting butter on your hooves? Well then again, you’re a unicorn…. But eating bread with the butter-side up is the dignified method, and it keeps the bread from falling butter-side down if you drop it.

1) I’m going to unzip your skin and wear you like a little coat.

2) No.

…

No.

3) Rubbed off dead skin. Wouldn’t take a year to get that much between two adult ponies. And since you didn’t specify who’s flesh, they could have got help.

4) I’m sure you’ll be shocked to hear me say no.

5) All you had to do was jump onto the train. I practically rammed it liKE THREE TIMES!

6) So you eat food a certain way on the off chance you’ll drop it? Why not just get a good grip on it and use a napkin?

U-Uh… I mean, that’s the argument I’d expect somepony to bring up anyway.

krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: 1) Nnnnope. … They’re still there. Also, how…

Trust me, you wouldn’t want to be there. They… They eat their bread butter-side down.

1) Well, despite outward appearances, we can’t live off of sweets alone.

2) It would hurt a lot more to believe something for a long time before finding out the truth, than to learn about it sooner from a friend.

As for Chrysalis, her name was known because the changelings were known. At least by the guard and Princess.

3) Depends on what extremes for each. The nympho thing would probably cause the least trouble, except in the most extreme circumstances.

Let’s just be glad that’s all a load of bunk.

4) I think that’s the guard’s job.

5) It’s the muscles you really gotta watch out for.

6) Absolutely not.

I already tried like twelve times and nothing happened.

7) Urm… W-why don’t we do that again? Isn’t that where the flavor is?

1) Nnnnope.

…

They’re still there. Also, how many more times are we going to do this joke?

2) I don’t, no. Professor Lyra might.

3) The only reason this message is noteworthy in any capacity, is that I just so happened to have been singing the chorus to Then the Morning Comes when I received it. For the first time in like, forever.

Which was kinda creepy.

4) Well. Obviously there are those with stronger feelings about the place than me. I’ve never been myself.

5) No.

In fact, that’s pretty creepy looking. Like something you’d kill somepony with.

I just use levitation to displace the strings.

6) Not that I know of. She was a little upset after that trash thing, but that was months ago.

1) Why, so I can be killed over two ponies I never knew?

Remember that Batmare knew her parents.

2) If it does, it’s not run by ponies.

“And this year’s winner-! A dragon! Again! Because that’s kinda what happens when magic isn’t allowed in a one versus one fight!”

3) It’s not a bone.

4) In a word; overwhelming.

5) A little, though I can explain that.

6) Don’t you American Humans celebrate perseverance or something on 9/11? You can either let tragedy drag you down, or turn it around!

7) I just try to maintain a foal-friendly environment on my website.

I’m different in person, I promise.

Did I say that right? In person?

1) He still could have left a message or something. And that doesn’t explain what happened to my mom.

2) lol, ur not troll rai.

3) In some of the shots, the grain on the wood sort of looks like icing.

4) You know my name is Liora, right? I didn’t even start going by Lyra until I got my cutie mark.

5) GEP gun, duh. That way I can take out the hacked sentry in front of the building and get a bunch of XP.

And for some reason, no pony blames me for it.

6) Would it have been as funny if I was all, “No no. That’s mean. You shouldn’t say that.”

I like Michigan. I mean, I even follow it!

1) What’s a welfare?

2) Not bad. But no, I’m not.

3) I hadn’t! Thanks! This was fantastic!

4) Tried a search to find out what this means, but I got nothing. Just that it’s evidently a thing.

5) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQXQrPdwego

6) Uh… For what species does this apply?

Also, if you’re just matching your own body weight, why would you bother using a form of measurement?

7) Please don’t.

8) No. I’m a monk. Ignore the bear in my banner. I think somepony hacked my account.

1) Haven’t had much of an appetite since I’ve been sick. Seem to be getting better, though. Might be able to get back to work Wednesday if I can find an open position.

… Wait… I think I lost a day.

2) … I like TiK ToK…

Sorry…

3) Well, I left Strawberry’s once I realized I was sick. Is that good?

I mean, I’ve been bedridden since Sunday morning up until today. Haven’t really had very many chances.

4) Wingmaster Fairgrounds? I don’t understand. What do I do?

1) Being alpha is a consuming chore. I’d rather do something to enjoy myself.

2) You and most of Ponyville.

3) I… Suppose it’s possible.

4) Oh hey, it’s this message for like the forth or fifth time.

5) The abscess or the horse?

I don’t know of anypony ever named Carbuncle, and as far as I know the condition doesn’t exist in Equestria. Or if it does, it’s called something else.

6) What part of “I live in Equestria” are you not getting?

7) I was asked once before and I sort of joked about it, but I figure if I’m being asked again I might as well answer. We use both forelegs!

Two bent forelegs, outstretched but pointed downward (as though a heavy weight tied around the hoof is weighting you down) is rock.

Two straight forelegs is paper.

One bent and one straight foreleg is scissors.

8) I was only a thief out of necessity. I stopped because it was no longer necessary.

1) Only if I have a reason to, like flooding my dashboard or posting explicit content.

I unfollowed somepony just today because I had no idea who they were. Must have changed their blog at some point, but I didn’t recognize any of their posts.

2) Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune?

I mean, it’s really none of my business and I’d like to keep it that way.

3) To us, Utopia just means there’s peace. Not without conflict, but without war. We do not fight because it’s convenient or because we have something to gain. We solve our problems with negotiations when we can, even if it’s harder.

Though, depending on how this changling thing pans out, that peace may finally end.

4) I laughed because I was entertained! I enjoyed myself!

And have you ever lived in Ponyville? Practically the whole town was there just because it was something to do for a change.

5) Toward the end of fall; I don’t know the exact date. It’s like one of those last Tuesdays of the month-type of things.

And I have no idea about the Iron Pony Competition. I’d like to watch another one!

6) ¡Si! And I like potatoes!

7) No matter what anypony says, everypony was weary of her. Even Nurse Redheart and Cheerilee kept their distance.

We all acted pretty foalish, but when something comes out of the Everfree, you have every reason to be cautious.

Oh, {flip a trashcan}…

1) {I believe in you! Hopefully we’ll met again soon and a new character will be introduced that I’ll care for without any good explanation!}

2) {Apples are great! But remember that a well balanced diet includes vegetables, grains, meats, and dairies as well!}

3) {I appreciate you respecting my personal space, because women are fragile and aren’t allowed to ever be threatened beyond an ambiguous “kidnapping” with no evident purpose!}

4) {Chocolate is as American as bologna sandwiches!}

5) {Remember kids, a stranger is someone you don’t know. You should always keep your distance. Even if it looks like they need help, get an adult you trust to accompany you before approaching!}

6) {Vaguely doughnut-shaped objects are much easier to explain than distinctly foreign foods.}

7) {Excellent idea! I highly recommend that show, which is not based upon a foreign comic with much more adult themes as far as you know!}

8) {WHAT?! That can’t be! You must always try your best in everything you do! Nothing is worth giving up on. But even if you can’t do it, remember to have fun! Keep a positive attitude, bottle up your emotions, and never show any sign of frustration!}

1) You’d know before me, huh?

2) A recent study found that ponies who breathe oxygen are still alive more often.

3) ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD.

4)

5) You feed them scrambled eggs?

6) See answer #4.

7) Judging from the wiki entry, I don’t think she’d get it.

8) Probably make an advice dog meme about it.

That, or whatever this is.

1) Most cattle and sheep find lifelong employment opportunities working for farms because of their species’ traits. I don’t know the specifics regarding sheep or bulls, but I know milk-producing cattle are compensated in the form of payment in addition to lodgings and food.

2) Hence my reply of, “I do not understand, (feminine) pony.”

At least, I think that’s what I said. Google translate pointed out that petisa also seems to mean petite, as though talking about a small girl.

3) Hark, A Vagrant!

4) I don’t recall a deliberately thrown blow-to-the-head at the moment.

1) Ru~de.

2) Something that would involve a war or some kind of fight for survival, but it would make much more sense for somepony more competent to lead. I’m more of a lieutenant/wing-mare.

3) Are they in any danger? Are they legally able to make such a decision for themselves?

4) No entiendo, petisa.

5) Um… I mean, dinner is enough time to enjoy somepony’s company, but not enough time to really grow from them. Plus, that would be those three ponies eating together as well. They’d probably be more interested in each other than me.

I don’t really have a good answer.

6) Hi, Jenny!

If this isn’t Jenny, I’m sorry for calling you Jenny.

7) No. The very thought of Boscov with another pony is pretty upsetting.

We all have our own weaknesses, and I still have some insecurity issues.

1) There will always be ponies that think a certain way, but I don’t know of any organization formed for that.

2) Ha ha! That would certainly be interesting!

…

Luna above, I think you might be right… Now I can’t stop hearing his voice in my head!

3) No. A pre-birth foal has no conscious understanding of reality. If you have no understanding of the world in which you exist, you can’t cast.

The only danger would be if the unborn unicorn’s horn broke within the womb, and an injury severe enough for that to take place would likely result in a stillborn. Either way, the horn would sooner puncture through the mother than break off.

4) I’d not worry about it. In the grandest scheme of things, it doesn’t really matter. If you find somepony you like and they like you back, give it a shot. If not, they can still be your friend.

I understand it’s not quite that easy for human society, but it should operate on the same principles I would think.

5) I know, it makes sense in theory! And yet here I am giving a condescending reply. World’s funny like that.

Edit: That’s all the questions I have. If I haven’t answered one that you sent, I didn’t get it. I know a lot of questions haven’t been getting through to me lately. Feel free to try again!

That’s a pretty complicated question. As I’ve mentioned before, I only understand feminism as it exists in the human world.

See, just as women traditionally only held jobs like nurses and teachers in the past, stallions traditionally only worked as things like soldiers or laborers. They would risk life and limb with no hope of branching out into a safer or less physically extensive field. And of course, just like in the human world, mares have always been free to carry whatever job they want, even if mare soldiers were ridiculed the same way human male nurses are.

These divides still exist. They’re more subtle now, but you can look around any given town and see it; most of the ponies walking around are fillies because the most of the colts joined the military. And since mares don’t really get sick during pregnancy, this whole stay-at-home-mother thing never happened in our world.

In that way, I can sympathize with feminism the same way I sympathize with colt rights movements. It’s not fair for one sex to have an advantage and something needs to be done. What I can’t do is say I can relate to either, or that I fully understand it. I’ve felt out-of-place and rejected, sure, but never for being a filly.

Stallions may be physically stronger than mares, but a kick from an out-of-shape unicorn mare is still going to do some real damage. Even after everything that’s happened to me, I’m not afraid to go out alone at night. I might have some mental scars or knee-jerk reactions, but I don’t even think about it unless it’s brought up. I think we ponies have an easier time in that regard because of our physiology, and that in turn gives us a psychological advantage.

There’s a lot more I could say, but this is already getting pretty long.

I support equality.

krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: 1) Too bad I’m not NBC’s favorite loser or maybe I…

…Is it alright for me to be bothered by this?

1) I’ll be working all next week, so yes.

2) No.

3) Kinda tiring. Summer break is too long. I’m not used to really working again yet.

I am glad to be getting steady work, though.

4) Absolutely not.

5) Yes it is.

1) Too bad I’m not NBC’s favorite loser or maybe I could have won some money.

2) Why do I occasionally get asks like this? What is this? What’s it a reference to?

3) What am I going to do, sit down with a Kindergartener and philosophize about universal good and evil versus society-driven morality?

4) APPLES APPLES APPL~ES!

5) Generally speaking, anything that avoids having to be medicated for the rest of your life is the preference.

6) No and Krastos.

…

As an exercise I just tried picturing that. Shouldn’t have done it.

7) My name’s Dash Rendar.

mutedgrey replied to your post: 1) No I don’t. I just won’t have that as a means…

I’ve never seen the Rocky movies either.

1) As far as I remember, I followed one drawn tumblr with a gay stallion but it turned explicit and I unfollowed it. I’ve ran across more than a few, but they were all explicit.

In short, I’ve never seen one that both impressed me and was “safe for work”.

2) Nnnnnnnnooo. Oh, that wasn’t the question.

I’m not going to argue against it, but I don’t think that way- reality is reality. Moralities are objectified, and thus defined, by society, but the actions that define them aren’t.

3) Ah, logical extremes.

4) I’d never heard of them before, but evidently there’s more than one.

Say, have you ever heard about business?

5) Not if you’re a mouse, then it’s enormous!

6) That’s not how you spell Jello.

7) Woo! Not alone!

1) I try not to drink much liquid while at work so I don’t have to worry about going to the bathroom while working.

But I’m being careful.

2) I have a vague knowledge of somepony’s background. I’ll use it to jab at them!

3) It’s… uh… Sort of a light, really creamy brown. I forget what the exact name of it is; I didn’t pick it out.

4) Maybe a little. I prefer function over fashion.

5) You bet! I went down to the sex store and bought a big ol’ bag of sex and delivered it in the form of lighting the bag on fire at his doorstep and watching him stomp it out.

I got him a satin eyepatch.

6) Well, this is a story all about how my life got flipped- turned upside down. I’d like to take a minute- just sit right there! I’ll tell you how I got a cutie mark on my rear.

7) No it’s not me, Lyra of asklyra? Darn, that was my next guess.

Is it Stoned Trixie?

8) For whatever reason, ever since I got this ask I keep hearing the beginning of U.N Owen with- PUDDIN’ a-PUDDIN’ a-PUDDIN’ a-POP POP POP!

I don’t even like that song!

1) No. I died. But thanks for caring enough to check up on me!

Sorry. Spent most of yesterday helping Bon-Bon paint and getting ready for work tomorrow. Which was today. And I’ll be working for the remainder of the week too.

But for now, off to bearfriend’s house to give him his birthday present!

2) I know.

3) N~ope. It’s ShadoKirby.

4) Probably not. With any luck I’ll be working. Where I was today there was a lot of talk about me possibly working there for the whole year! Wouldn’t that be something?!

5) Mix some words together. Crush! Kill! Rularuu!

6) Sorry. Didn’t mean to sound so ungrateful. Is there anything I can do for you, Mr. Harris?

7) That sounds silly. What do you do? Kill a corpse till they’re deader?

1) RUN SNAKE! SHE’S HOPPED UP ON MAGIC AND FRIENDSHIP!

2) Only ever played GTA3, San Andreas, and GTA4. Saints Row looked cool, but I never played it. I guess GTA4 was good enough that I bothered to finish it, but I had a lot of fun passing the controller around with GTA3. I remember that filly being pretty good for being so young.

3 & 4) I guess so. I mean, I don’t really watch movies much.

Never livestreamed anything before, though.

5) I had a number of Heroes, Villains, Vigilantes, and Rogues. It’s just the nature of the game and conflict in general. In my mind though, the main character of my little corner of the world was a Hero.

6) I’m pretty sure you mean this pony, this one, or this one.

7) Neil Patrick- Ugh… Why can’t my spirit animal ever be voiced by somepony cool like Morgan Freeman, Sean Connery, or Bill Murray?

I’m good though, Mister Harris. Thanks for asking!

1) No I don’t. I just won’t have that as a means to relax anymore.

2) Sorry, Boscov, but I’ve never seen any of the Rocky movies.

I know, “How is that possible?!” It just is.

3) Looks like an arena fighter. Not really the same thing.

4) Fisto! Use Rocket Punch!

5) Listen to music? Dance around? I mean, you don’t want to throw a party while they’re gone. Wouldn’t want them to miss it.

6) Yesterday. The recording room is upstairs.

7) Doesn’t sound much better.

8) I don’t know. I just couldn’t get into San Andreas. The RPG stuff just didn’t draw me in. Didn’t seem to fit.