Ask Lyra

1) Mai boi, this peace is what ALL trew warriers strive for!

2) I know scary! I had to change my Nightmare Night costume last year because it was too scary!

3) Old…?

… We’re not old…

4) Because much like punching a portion of a tree away and the rest of it being left floating in Minecraft, the world doesn’t work that way.

5) Sure do, obviously-testing-the-limitations-of-what-I-said-a-few-posts-ago-anon!

6) I could hoof him a cup of burnt water, but I don’t think he’d appreciate that much. Seriously, the extremes of my cooking abilities include sticking a frozen pizza in the oven and making grilled cheese.

7) Well… I probably shouldn’t do this. But…

Keep reading

1) I don’t think I’d go so far as being angry, but I doubt I’d be comfortable.

You do know we’re not really made of marshmallows, right? I weight over 45 kilograms.

2) Getting tired of going over this in more detail just to have it come up again and again, so let’s simplify it. My page; my rules.

3) Per our conversation last night, this is why I’d have rather you not commented on it, Boscov.

4) Thank you! I’d also like to mention Front Mission 3, Ogre Battle, Blaster Master, Galaga, and Star Wars: Kni-… No! Super Mario All-Star! Nopony ever brings that game up but it was so awesome!

5) Uh… I mean…. Seems like you’d just want to go to med school, right? I mean, unless the medical field is really competitive where you live. That just seems like something you’d study after working for a while. But I have no idea.

6) Not in particular. The power surged around here several times for close to an hour last night from the one that just passed through. Plus I’ve had to sleep outside during a few.

7) To be honest, I’m not really interested in the movie. I mean, yeah- It’s kinda neat as a novelty, but that’s about it.

8) I wouldn’t joke at the expense of a child. Also, you really seem to like those foreign defender-team shows.

9) There’s this thing called business…

10) Like I said, just a few too many ponies that thought me being scary was-

Oh! Blades of Steel! Best hockey game ever!

1) Not even.

And no offense to Rose, but if it were me, as soon as I heard this I’d have some concerns.

2) Don’t know. I never answer that question because I believe all games have crippling faults that, at best, level them out too much with other titles. So instead, we’ll just name five games that I like.

Deus Ex: Pony Revolution, Timesplitters: Future Perfect, Kirby Super Star, Mario Tennis, and Final Fantasy Tactics (Heavy note: ONLY THE ORIGINAL TACTICS. ADVANCE SUCKED).

Plenty of others I could have named, but there you go.

3) I would have no idea.

4) Don’t typically fry potato slices. We have hay fries.

5) … This is getting old.

6) Why, yes. Yes I do.

And for future reference, I don’t like showing the number of characters used in the theoretic swear. That’s why I use “[omitted]” instead of random symbols or asterisks.

1) Congratulations?

2) Never played it. Didn’t interest me.

3) Well. That notion is connected to a particularly horrible memory I’m refusing to think about.

Short answer, no. Things never progressed that far.

4) You’re welcome to feel however you want. But if somepony goes too far and I shove a hoof into their eye socket, they’ll really have no pony else to blame.

5) Yes. The all video game systems are the same, near as I can tell. Probably region locked between here and the human world but it’s not like we can just pass between the two so I don’t know what difference that would make.

6) Okie dokie, lokie.

7) Just Lyra is fine.

And I don’t know what situation you’re referring too.

Guess who’s behind on questions again? Evidently a lot of you found the thought of me being scary a little too funny…

1) Okay… Thanks.

2) She wanted Broccoli Cheese Soup, so that’s what she got.

3) What the hay. You wanna go, Boscov? As long as Twilight isn’t there to make the parasprites crave flesh, what’s the worst that could happen?

4) If I recall from being corrected twice, bears are omnivores.

And Boscov isn’t going to eat your baby.

5) I’m gonna to have to ask you to not call me that again. Nothing against you or anypony else, but just stick with Lyra.

I’m alright today. How are you?

6) That would be delightful!

7) By shoving a building off its foundation, leveling it.

Oh! I can also throw my voice and make ghost sounds!

oooOOOOooo

1) Hmm… This is sounding a lot better than the initial adverts let on…

Wait a minute, is this a trap like that cruise I wasn’t invited to?

2) Seems to be about 1:30 to me.

3) Boscov’s threat gambit, I suppose.

4) She’s fine. Only reason I considered letting him go. Evidently she didn’t even know what was going on.

I don’t think she was ever in any danger.

5) No.

And FWI, I can be scary too.

6) That sounds cool, but I’ve been getting back into City of Ponies lately. Their Summer Blockbuster event is live and it’s pretty fun!

That aside, I still have some work I’d like to do for my one year tumblr anniversary on the eighth. Sort of stopped doing anything while Sweetie was… Well that’s over now.

soundoflonesomeness replied to your post: 1) I never contacted the police. Mostly because I…

… I promise to never kidnap Sweetie Belle again.

Anypony ever again. And possibly seek counseling. I know you never intended to hurt her, but lashing out for attention like that is not okay.

1) I never contacted the police. Mostly because I was afraid you’d do something crazy, but how about you just never do anything like this again and we call it even?

2) I don’t know, Boscov. I don’t think it matters anymore. I’m just glad Sweetie is safe.

1) I… I don’t even know what to say.

Yes. Let’s go.

2) I think it’s okay now, Fuse. But thank you from the bottom of my heart for your efforts.

3) Maybe tomorrow. I want to see Sweetie Belle first.

4) I sort of held on to this, just in case… But I don’t think I need that wish anymore.

1) How would I know? I can’t even tell which one’s which!

2) I’m afraid the source of that rumor has embellished the truth beyond recognition.

3) Eh.

4) Well, the one I stole anyway. It was one of the newer ones that you loaded from the top, like the SNES.

5) You’re not welcome.

6) Me thank.

7) To get to the other side.

8) Unavoidable would be my best describing adjective.

9) HA! I run this house like a fortress! No pony goes in or out without my knowing!

No no. Sweetie is just off spending some time with her parents. I sent her off yesterday evening.

…

Excuse me, I need to go make a phone call.

ask-rainbow-scoots replied to your post: 1) Somepony I should know? 2) That’s a little…

You should totally use magic to flip ponies off. Like, make a big middle feather with your magic aura or something. That would be cool!

krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: 1) Nah. Not right now. Although I never did…

I think I actually got my NES in storage somewhere. I wonder if it still works after all these years…

1) How did I get here?

Uh… Honeysuckle?

2) Because it’s my name for him.

3) Don’t worry about me! Just take care of yourself and I’ll be good!

4) Is the name of the character I made to represent myself in City Of Ponies.

5) I guess some foals or actors might…

Oh! The guard! They have their coats dyed depending on what division they’re a part of.

6) Scoot… Don’t make me look like a poor role model.

7) Oh! I still have mine too!

1) Nah. Not right now.

Although I never did finish Final Fantasy 1. Loved their magic system, though. Only time I felt like I could just use magic in regular combat without a mana drain system being present.

2) That’s like saying “Ha ha! You don’t have gingivitis!”

3) I don’t reciprocate the feeling.

4) Might want to work on that name.

5) [Audible sigh]

That aside, I’m sure the courts would allow the surname of the pony to overlap the fake surname the changling may have had. That is, assuming the couple didn’t already take the real pony’s surname upon marriage.

If the pony has no surname like me… Then that would cause one [omitted]-of-a judicial stir. I couldn’t tell you what the outcome would be.

6) Krastos. I call him Boscov. And I wish everypony else would quit calling him that.

I’m backed up again so gonna space these questions out… again.

1) Disco Revolution insurance sounds practical. Tell me more! I bet it’ll go great with my zombie uprising insurance!

2) They’re pretty hip. And no thank you. Really. I have no desire to touch a human’s hands, even if they were in Equestria for whatever reason, just because they think I’m obsessed with humans. I’m good. Thanks for the offer.

3) No. And I wouldn’t ordinarily post this as it seems pretty cruel to have something so loud right next to somepony’s ears, but I double-taked (took?) when I saw who the submission was from. Everypony do the Robo-Dale Marital Dance!

4) I’m not sure. After a certain point I don’t determine a relationship in steps.

1) Apple pie is wicked-awesome. Fudge pie too.

2) Are you sure it’s Mister Cake’s harem and not Kur’s?

3) No thank you. That’s the kind of thing some joker says when they haven’t washed their hooves.

4) How does that work? On second thought, nevermind.

I played Diablo 2 a little bit. Was alright. Never bothered to get past the first Act, though.

5) Was it all a ruse or do they still love you? Do you still love them? It might be much simpler than it seems. What you are isn’t as important as who you are.

6) No. I just had a Special K Strawberry Bar. Only 90 calories! Which doesn’t mean anything because I had two.

7) I don’t think that’s something I could decide out of the blue, or without seeing them. Plus I don’t know the gender.

8) Maybe if I get 10,000 followers we’ll see. Only a little over 9,000 to go!

9) I used to not know the answer to that myself. But I know now. Find meaning. Create meaning. Find something or somepony to live for. It’s not going to happen over night. But if you put yourself out there you’ll find it.

Until then, I personally recommend watching stand-up acts and just screwing around with long-term projects. I used to watch stand-up all the time.

10) … No… I thought I would. But looking back it just felt… empty.

11) What a completely nonsuspicious name for something you want me to see and touch but not bite.

12) Are you a butt wizard- Yes or no?

There you go, sport.

You summarize the predicament to your friends and the trio give one another forlorn looks. They unanimously vote against going so much as near what will likely be another shadow creature.

This being the case, it looks like some careful navigation is in order. Navigation of a floor plan you aren’t familiar with. Grea~t.

Let’s see here… You’re located at roughly the far left of the circle that itself was down a hall north of the entrance. The entrance had two other paths to the left and right, facing toward the inside away from the outer door. The source of the sound would likely be along that right hallway back toward the entrance.

However, in the time it took you to realize these things, you’ve once again become aware of the sound slowly changing location. It’s quieter now than before, but it’s moving. Whatever it is sounds like it’s headed toward the entrance. Your friends are not yet aware of anything beyond your telling them to keep quiet.

1) I thought it was just the undead.

2) No thank you.

3) I don’t think so. At least I can’t think of any.

I mean, there’s the whole jack[omitted] thing. But I don’t think that’s meant to be offensive to donkeys.

4) I do not, no.

5) Oddly enough, they can’t.

6) I think you accidentally the whole show.

7) idkmybffbon

1) Can’t say I have.

2) The beach was great, but yesterday was pretty good too. Hung out with Strawberry until the evening, which I spent with Boscov.

Going to go with yesterday evening. Freshest in my mind, anyway.

3) Well, Boscov moving in might have been a little lofty. It’s more of him having some things over here so he can spend the night from time to time.

4) All squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares.

1) Good afternoon, limp [omitted].

2) From your message, it sounds like you’re trying to live life through caring for others. I know I said to try helping ponies, but you can’t focus on that alone. You’ll never be satisfied that way and you’ll always be miserable. You gotta live life in balance. Sometimes you have to let ponies go and focus on enjoying and improving your own life. You can’t help everypony.

3) Looks like a Voltorb.

I don’t have any monies.

4) Cels, if I was worried about showing her that Dark and Lonely Water thing, she’d be traumatized by that Substation one! The refrigerator one isn’t bad, but I’m not sure how applicable it would be. Ponyville has zoning laws that don’t allow ponies to just leave garbage lying around in their yard like that. The forth one comes up with some kind of validation error.

1) Mmm… I have no idea what you’re talking about.

2) Yes. It’s not done yet, but I will make sure the piece I’ve been working on is finished by July 8th. That’s my one year tumblr anniversary!

3) Very strange. Thanks for sending it! Was interesting to see that kind of art film narration in a PSA.

Sweetie is sort of superstitious, though. Better not let her see that.

On the other hoof, Scoot and AB would probably drag Sweetie along to try and hunt for the thing. “Cutie Mark Crusaders Monster Stalkers!” or some such.

4) Nah. Annoyed or fed up, sure. But not bored.

1) If I am, my name is either Jill Valentine or Rebecca Chambers since all the other girls in S.T.A.R.S are… Hey wait a minute! They were the only two mares in S.T.A.R.S to begin with!

2) Eh heh heh heh… Moving right along.

3) Well, today was pretty sweet. Boscov took us all to the beach, minus Tootsie who was with her parents. Even brought the dog along. He and Sweetie had a lot of fun together!

Of course, early this week there was the news of Boscov’s family’s restaurant burning down. I went with him to visit his family and everything went alright. Felt a little more comfortable than last time I was there.

4) Interesting position. Obviously out of my control, but interesting. I’ll admit it’s a rather antiquated law; maybe it should be phased out entirely.

5) Two and three, yes. Never got very far in two, but I played three for quite a bit.

6) I’ve never tried.

7) Can I be Baby Commando instead? Way cooler.

8) I looked for him by typing his name into tumblr’s search tag function and according to that, he’s been talking to a couple of homestuck characters.

He was here recently, but left no sign as to where he’s headed next. Hope you find him soon.

1) Thank you!

And that’s a very interesting post you have on your page.

2) That’s not really up to you, now is it? If she decides to break up with you that’s her decision.

Unless you meant like cheating in a game of poker or something. That’s no big deal. You should probably make her a sandwich.

3) That’s funny! You can barely understand what I’m saying and I can barely understand what you’re saying about what I’m saying!

In all seriousness, I play the lyre plenty, but I don’t make much money off of it. I made 10 USD from a commission I did for Mr. Orange. I haven’t made any more money this year from it.

4) This has the potential to be a very bizarre question, but I’m fairly certain you mean the band.

I listened to these two tracks. They’re alright, just not really where my interest lie presently. I’d have probably loved it if I were a younger me.

If this was the question I initially thought it to be, this experimental stuff is really hard to listen to. If you can stand it through, there’s plenty to be gained from studying it. I had a little bit of inspiration just sitting through it once. This one’s a lot easier to listen to, but sort of outside what any musical interpretation I can think of for what the question could have meant.

Speaking of any interpretation.

5) I’m alright. How are you?

Not bad. I’ve heard that style of music plenty of times, but I have to admit I’m having a hard time thinking of a Sci-Fi work that used it.

In fact, the only work I can think of at the moment is Timesplitters. Though really, what does the future sound like? And does it always have to have the same energy? Can it relax? What if it needs even more tension than usual? Does this even sound like the future anymore or is it too upbeat/familiar? And if you want something alien…

Personally, I’ll always favor retro Sci-Fi for my futuristic. What could possibly be more futuristic than a style of music that will never be popular in the present?

And while I was searching for music before settling on Timesplitter tracks, I stumbled upon this one track from Parasite Eve that was only available on the music CD. Only slightly related, but it’s pretty rad! I wish I could sing like that.

1) Hm. You’re alright, Anon.

2) You’re all really great and super cool, but I might embellish a little bit to make you sound better than you really are.

3) Nope. Just sounds like an out of context quote. Which happens a lot around here.

4) Eight. I have ate eight breads.

5) I’d rather you didn’t and will take steps to avoid that.

6) Thanks! I guess that’s four things.

7) You have got to be kidding me.

1) You’re welcome.

2) I say groovy! I say groovy all the time!

3) Look, I’m kind of in a hurry to get ready here so I can go with Boscov to visit his mourning family. So why don’t you go harass somepony else? I’m busy and I don’t need your [omitted] right now.

1)

2) Well this certainly couldn’t have come at a better time. Excuse me while I go cry.

3) That’s silly. You’re silly.

4) That’s… interesting.

5) Thank you, friend.

6) Thank you very much! I like your tail!

7) Ash? From Phantom Brave? Hold on! Hold on! Let me see if I can find Marona’s! … Here we go! “Valiant phantoms, aid me in battle! Chartreuse Ga~le!” Ha ha! I used to think that was awesome! Ah… Fast forward and it never quite held the same weight as Lenneth’s “Come to me dark warriors, battle awaits us!” from Valkyrie Profile.

8) Wasn’t in Ponyville this year so it was just a small… Uh…

… I have no idea… I slept in. It really wasn’t in Ponyville this year, though.

9) Unless his genetic makeup was altered, that’s not shapeshifting, that’s transforming. Shapeshifting is a biological trait. But I see what you’re getting at.

I never hold anything against an individual unless they prove it warranted. But when it comes to a group, any collection of creatures be it based on species or ideology, I have to make split-second decisions based on generalizations. That’s one of those sometimes unfortunate reasons I’m still alive.

10) Probably dozens more, but I’m no biologist.

11) She seems pretty unhinged.

12) Huh. I always thought those things were volunteer. But congratulations!

krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: 1) Sounds good to me. You let me borrow your Sam’s…

Cutie marks are usually seen in a negative view by non-pony cultures. Not in a “Kill the pony because there’s a magical tattoo on them” type of negative, but more of a “Haha, they have to find out what their career choice is through a butt mark.”

1) I’ll try and keep that in mind.

2) Oh hey, it’s that guy that isn’t funny.

No, can’t say I do.

3) ‘Cause the world is black and white, right? It’s just one extreme or the other, right?

4) Look, brony, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what you were talking about so I stuck it into google and what I came up with wasn’t exactly foal-friendly. I didn’t think it out of the ordinary considering how often that happens with the asks I get. Truth be told, I’ve never seen any Macross series. I’ve only ever seen Robotech, and even then only like the first ten-fifteen episodes. I liked it, but I couldn’t find them anywhere.

Considering how much you’re blowing this out of proportion, I still think this was all a setup. But if it wasn’t, I’m sorry.

5) … To be honest a twelfth sounds a little generous.

I don’t really know what to tell you, Boscov. The only ponies that would know more about me than you were ones that were around me when I was little. And that’s pretty much just Princess Celestia.

6) Totes gotta be the bed, Tote! Beds are the best furniture!

7) I figured it was a biological question, though I suppose he may have meant that too.

1) Sounds good to me. You let me borrow your Sam’s Club card and pay for my arcade games and I’ll give you my tickets all times/every times.

2) Bon-Bon? Dark and mysterious?

And what do you mean fresh?

3) Is it me or is rap music just getting Family Guy reference.

Lot of lines I only barely remember flooding my memories of the game. Had to look this up again. One day, I’m gonna find a way to play this myself. I must.

4) Because I’m obsessed with humans and hands, right?

And it never gets old, does it?

5) I don’t think it would matter, would it? Not like he’d jump dimensions to deliver presents to-… Did you say Santa Christ?

6) I’m just saying, you know, you could probably think of something better.

7) You know, that’s a good question.

I have no idea what the answer is, but a good question none-the-less! Great job!

8) Okay.

9) Sorry, we can’t talk about this anymore.

10) You heard Anon #7 (Question 8). Pack it up; argument’s over.

krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: 1) Not too often. Don’t want to get any leaves or…

Hmm… Does Saturday sound good?

1) Fight fascists with humor or defender of our constitutional right to deprive poor people? That’s all I got from Google. Yahoof couldn’t find anything.

2) I’ll let you know if you suddenly become funny, and…

3) I’ll let you know if you suddenly become funny.

4) Hit Anon?! Oh praise Celestia! A rational anonymous! What’s that? A date related to an unsolved murder case of unmatched notoriety in the human world? I’ll take it.

5) No, I think they use helium. I’ve never been on one; very expensive.

6) That’s not even the argument!

7) You’re right, my mistake. When you finally get to safety after being attacked by a single lion, you’re safe.

Not getting the point? How about my human friend Ron helps you get this one (Language Warning if you listen for too long)?

8) I’ll be honest, brony, I don’t think that exists as a “joke” in human Earth either.

9) Saturday, Friday, Thursday, tomorrow. Right now until Saturday when hopefully this obnoxious-[omitted] line of questioning will have ended. You know, whenever.

You quietly turn around, back up toward the urinal, rear up, and kick the piece of crap as hard as you can! Unfortunately, or fortunately as you would later find out, the urinal is made of a harder stone than you realized and does not shatter. Instead, an intense pain flares up from your right hoof and you fall to the floor screaming in agony and frustration. Your friends quickly enter, confused, and Twist shoves a hoof into your mouth to muffle the noise. At this point your eyes well up with tears and you start to feel pretty stupid about what you just did.

For the second time now you’ve accidentally hurt yourself, this time a little more seriously than a simple nose bleed. Your damaged hoof is going to noticeably slow you down until it heals, which probably won’t happen until after this little adventure is over. If you don’t start being more careful, you’re going to wind up killing yourself without the aid of any dangerous shadows or whatever else might be lurking about.

Once the pain subsides enough that Twist can retrieve her hoof from your mouth, you reluctantly explain what you did, to which Princess throws her hooves up and walks back out of the bathroom in apparent frustration. Twist and Amy help lift you up, walk you over to a stall, and sit you down before backing away and out of sight. They’re still in the bathroom with you, just off to the side.

You noticed something out of place when you were sat down and look down into the toilet bowl to investigate. Strange though it may be, there’s water in the bowl. You relay this information and ask somepony to flush a toilet, which they do, and in turn tell you that the toilet seems to be fully functional. They also check the faucet at the sink. While water does flow from it, it looks and smells pretty bad. There’s no way it’s drinkable. If that urinal had broken when you kicked it, you’d have been showered in foulness the likes of which no pony should ever have to live through.

Either way, this building has running water.

1) Not too often. Don’t want to get any leaves or dirt in my mane.

2) Nope.

3) I don’t know that there are any. More specifically, I don’t think there’s any Equestrian law protecting online privacy.

4) Why wouldn’t it?

8) I think Bon-Bon would do better with the lower body while I handle the torso and Bos- I mean Krastos takes the head.

9) There would likely be a problem if the website was hosted in Equestria, and the photographer could probably be prosecuted if caught. But there’s really not much we can do with a website hosted in another dimension.

10) Sounds good to me! What day did you have in mind?

11) Like I didn’t see this coming.

I reserve the right to censer for both language and the content that language implies. This is also known as “It’s my page; it’s my decision.”

12) Oh… I Uh… I got nothin’. If there really is, you’ve called my bluff.

13) Certainly!

Answers to 5, 6, and 7 are after the break.

Keep reading

1) Sort of. Mostly just walks around town or a park. Sucks not having any money.

2) I don’t. I found them on the ponynet while trying to find a reaction image for “pony i can’t handle these feels,” which lead me to try “pony nom nom nom”. The real question is why this page exists.

3) Which is interesting, because I’ve never actually done that before. Funny name, though! Didn’t know it had one.

4) I couldn’t read everything on the picture you sent because it was too small, but I got the general idea from that and the video you linked. Considering he evidently must have psychic reflexes, probably not, no.

5) Thanks for the offer! That was really cool! I probably won’t be going, though. I’d rather just hang out with my boyfriend when he isn’t working, trot around Ponyville, keep looking for a steady job. You know. But thanks for thinking of me, alternate me!

6) Are there land and sea equivalents of the Blue Angels in your world?

7) Oh give me a break. You were incarcerated for a month. This isn’t Shawshank and you aren’t Brooks.

8)

9) I got Majestic-12 out of that anyway.

1) I’m not a fan of police forces myself, even if they are necessary.

2) I wouldn’t think so. Am I offending anypony with my uneducated opinions?

3) I don’t know what the [goldmarker] you’re talking about.

4) Clearly I’m the mature type of pony that plans on running for political office later in life, so your ability to twist my words against me is all very relevant.

5) I chose time over a waste of it, since it doesn’t matter why. Or at least that was the initial idea before everypony and their grandmother’s kitchen sink decided they’d try and change my opinion.

6) Pay them no mind.

1) Uh… Sure. Why not? Not like I have to use it. I mean, I only used the Typhoon in Pony Revolution a hoofful of times.

2) Taste the wind one last time, bird spirit.

3) And an uneducated brain works different than an educated brain, until it’s educated. That’s no excuse.

4) The video/song seems completely desperate from the message you delivered.

5) Thanks. And sorry.

6) I never had any; I wouldn’t know.

7) I could get earrings of a bear and a jar of glue. That would be identifiable enough. But I don’t really like earrings.

8) [Audible sigh] I’ve defended the whole lack of good and evil/right and wrong thing more than a few times. I’ve even directly defended the changling queen before, though I can’t find the post. Maybe this whole argument is a little hypocritical of me…

9) And maybe this guy’s just getting on my [omitted] nerves.

I might not be the smartest tool in the shed, but I studied a bit of law. So don’t try and play semantics on me. To argue that a mindset can be understandable, is to justify it. Whether or not you morally enforce that justification is irrelevant, because I don’t want to hear it. I don’t care why they attacked, which I’ve already said a number of times. The only thing that matters to me is that they did. There’s nothing more to talk about on matter, not that there ever was anything to talk about.

1) I’m still just seeing mild annoyance. For that matter, a more specific mild annoyance than before.

2) It’s the mane.

3) My point was that you never should have brought it up to begin with. My point was that the presence of a motive justifies nothing. Everything has a motive for everything it’s ever done, ever!

And because I don’t accept your lame excuse for a hoofshake with open arms after you spit on my face I’m the bad pony? I’ll tell you this much, you’re a credit to your shapeshifting brethren.

4) I’ll say changings are okay when I’m given a reason to. Compassion, instead of some punk who called me simple-minded trying to force a justification on me for attempted genocide.

Humans are a different issue.

5) A quick Yahoof search reveals quite a few things linked to that moniker. Might want to choose something different.

1) I… I look, alright. I look really hard. Some kind of… Explanation, a form of balance, a rational reason. But I can’t find it, or I haven’t yet. Humans have come so far without magic, without individualized flight, but all I can come up with is unpredictable luck. Nothing more. Your advancement isn’t based upon a group’s collective persistence over centuries so much as just one or two people working out of desperation and getting lucky. And if those people failed, it just sits until the next person possibly gets lucky. That’s… That’s not even a community. That’s just a bunch of ponies walking in different directions until one of them either finds something or gives up.

If there’s an explanation- if there is some kind of reason… It’s the hand. It can’t be anything else. It just has to be. The question is, why?

2) You’re welcome to come over, but I think I’m having dinner with Boscov again. I’m not sure. He said something about getting me some fresh kiwi, but I’m not sure when.

3) You’ve misunderstood a lot of things. We don’t have just one religion. We have just as little understanding of how we were created as humans do and there’s countless conflicting theories. We just don’t take it as a reason to fight.

Princesses Celestia and Luna are gods, but they didn’t create us. When some of us say gods, we aren’t talking about deities. It’s based upon an old measure of an entities strength; specifically their potential to threaten a society. The sisters are gods because they possess that much magical ability. Discord is a god because he can alter reality on a whim. Princess Cadance is just a measure below a god because, while she can manipulate the thoughts of others, she can only do so in one specific way.

But the oldest records of history talk about a time long before Equestria or any kingdoms where ponies fought for survival in an untamed land, just like any other beast. Any predator large enough saw us as pray. But over time, culminating in Equestria’s formation, we learned that if we prepare we don’t always have to fight. Amongst each other, we never have to. There will always be conflict, but that’s why we organize, plan, make efficient use of the soil and weather. And if humans weren’t so busy making bombs powerful enough to wipe out a city, maybe they could formulate a means to control weather too.

1) Do I have to have any? Keeps ponies safe, but I don’t really think about it much.

2) A job with regular hours and regular pay.

3) I think it might have more to do with a ugly little word called “torture.”

4) You remind me of one of those ponies that go around posting horrible, terrible things, and then follow it with a smiley face. Like that somehow negates what was said.

Ideas have weight, they’re not just forgotten. But you do whatever you want. I’ll be right here.

5) Well, I’ve never had a kiwi straight before.

6) If what you say is true, it sounds like a nice place. Admittedly, I’ve only really heard about major human countries. Can you tell me more?

7) Not really. Just catching up on a bunch of backlogged questions. Got three more as I was writing these!

8) Better than being killed by a dragon or something.

9) “Well, I know,” what exactly?

10) Your “evil” sounds more like “mildly annoying.”

11) That they’re so willing to advance themselves just a little further, that they’d crush the advancement of thousands in order to do it.

12) In many situations, yes. Both for protection and contraceptive applications.

1) Sure you did.

2) Give a try? Neither. Those are not savory things.

3) Sure you did.

4) You got us. We just build castles out of chairs, sheets, comforters and pillows.

Also, you said biologically compatible, but…

5) I don’t know everything about humans, but I know enough.

If you look at an Equestrian History book, it’s got all kinds of stuff. Taming the land, farming techniques across the decades, the progression of magic, progression of weather control, foreign trade, development of our nation’s security, and yes, sometimes the defense of our nation.

You sit down with any given human history book, of any given nation, and it’s just war after war after war. As a species- no. As a society humans aren’t content unless they’re killing and stealing from each other. And there’s nothing efficient about that.

They will never have peace, because deep down they don’t want it. Humans don’t belong in Equestria, and if you think their way of life is anyway to live, then you don’t belong here either.

You started this conversation under the notion that you were different than the changlings that attacked us, and you just keep saying it. But you’ve given me no reason to believe you were ever sincere about that.