Ask Lyra

1) Sure! Way too many to mention them all, so I’ll just pick a few Lyras. Not trying to be self-indulgent, just don’t want anypony feeling left out. Particularly if we’re in the same dimension and don’t know it!

http://asklyralyra.tumblr.com/

http://asklyrabonbon.tumblr.com/

http://asklyraandbonbon.tumblr.com/

http://asklyralyralicious.tumblr.com/

2) What difference does it make? Who cares?

I don’t know; the third. A quick “go to [omitted]” and we part ways. Relatively painless.

3) It doesn’t matter!

He’s-…

He was relocated. Probably not even in Equestria anymore.

Now just… drop it…

1) “Treat” her to an expensive evening at a fancy restaurant. Order light and prearrange payment. That is to say, and this is key, pay for your own meal. Once dinner is over and her bill comes, get up and leave. She has no one to blame but herself and no way to pursue any legal action against you. Of course, that only works if she doesn’t know that you know.

How much she spends is also a pretty accurate measure of her character. If she orders cheaply, it might be worth aborting.

Of course, I would always recommend the high road. She’s not worth the time, effort, and cash to set up something like that. All of this assuming that she really isn’t worth the time and effort. Up to you if you want to give somepony another chance.

2) Yes.

Didn’t feel like rearranging the questions. Was going to just remind everypony that the joke loses its effect if you don’t reverse how you send it, but Sweetie Belle had an idea. So we ran with it.

3) Moe’s Tavern.

…

No. This is Patrick.

Answers after the break.

Keep reading

Answers after the break.

Keep reading

2) I just knew it! I knew it couldn’t be true! Oh woe is me, to be passed up for the cake I pine for!

1) I just knew it! I knew it couldn’t be true! Oh woe is me, to be passed up for the foal I care for!

3) Anon was gently reminding me to not be a horrible marefriend and go check up on Boscov.

Which I know seems insensitive on my part, but you have to remember everypony I ever dated before was tough-guy macho.

1) Sounds like somepony beat you to the punch by a few thousand years.

Or is everypony tired of that joke now?

2) I don’t believe in a hard-and-fast rule for something like that. No situation is identical due to circumstances and the individuals involved.

3) I don’t need to see how he handles grieving. I need to see how he handles an argument. Everypony handles grieving differently and-

…

Oh.

…

Oh…

ask-twi replied to your post: 1) Here’s a book recommendation. Honest to…

Nice recommend. Next time you should co-recommend Logic For Dummies by Mark Zegarelli. They always go in pair.

1) Wait! Wait you guys! Wait!

If I-

Wait!

If I suddenly became a bug, I-

You guys!

I’d be-

2) I wish I had retained anything I learned in Logic…

I can’t remember what it’s called, but you’re questioning my stance by asking me my exact argument for the stance in question.

That’s why it would be awkward.

3) I don’t recall doing that. If anything could be used against me, I was a little short with the, or a, Pkunk.

For that I apologize, assuming it wasn’t just a bit.

Which I’m not yet admitting.

4) Might take a look at that myself.

1) Here’s a book recommendation.

Honest to Celestia; if you’re going to do a bit, get where you’re going.

2) Now now. Let’s be polite, even to ponies you don’t like.

3) Yeah… tough.

Alright, bye. And I highly recommend looking for someone who can return your affection. You’ve evidently got a lot to give.

4) Uh… That would probably be awkward… Well, more awkward. Maybe hang out, talk, but that’d probably be the extent of it.

1) I understand, to an extent. For whatever reason I’ve been the subject of catcalls for a long time. If you’re level-headed, you at least realize you haven’t got a chance in Equestria with me and are only doing this for the thrill of it.

However, that doesn’t excuse your demeaning comments.

2) I know that first anon got under your skin, but that sort of behavior I’m at least used to.

How about I put on some music and we dance it out?

3)

4) Fine. But those are still things you should keep to yourself.

…

There are still ponies out there looking for me. I don’t like the idea of somepony I don’t know watching me with an ulterior motive.

1) No means no.

2) Are you the same one that sent a similar message last time and embarrassed the [omitted] out of me when I wrongfully thought it was Blues?

Because if you are, I still remember, there’s still nothing I can do, and you’re treading awful close to Creepytown. The whole secret admirer thing fails to be endearing when you call my boyfriend a “big obstacle in my way.”

3) Go get your purple drank elsewhere.

4) You just doesn’t has to call me Johnson.

1) By not telling them. They made a very large mistake, but no pony wants want them having to serve out a sentence over it!

Save the authorities for cases that can’t be resolved without them.

2) Does the prospect of a sexual harassment charge entice you?

3) No. Not a huge fan of Disneigh.

…

Not that I’d turn down the opportunity if it was hoofed to me.

4) Mare, I know you didn’t just sass me about being sassy. I’m about to be all up in your grill like George Foreman!

5) Abbott and Costello?

6) None that I can think of. A few of the machines around the entrances to stores or at children’s entertainment places like Chuck E. Cheese, but I think arcades are mostly dead.

7) Well, I’ve certainly been wrong before. I mean, Deadly Premonition was pretty tame, but there were still a few parts where I was all, “Gaaaa~h!”

Now I’m sort of interested in this LSD game…

1) Everything floats down here…

Oh wait. That was “It.”

2) Doesn’t sound so bad. A little boring for my tastes, but I don’t suppose it goes into too much detail.

3) Have I ever been disintegrated into pieces in some cases?

Da [omitted] does that even mean?

1) Black? White? Hispanic?

Is there a green? I like green. Can I be green?

2) Oh pretty good. We got a new client. At the bank. Gonna make a lot of money.

I cannot tell you, it’s confidential.

No, I can’t.

3) Not do that again, if you’re wise.

4) That’s not an easy road. I’d recommend you find a councilor.

5) That’s a little sexist, isn’t it?

He can cook and I can’t. What’s the hold up?

6) Is it leave well enough alone?

1) In a drawer in the bathroom.

And I have one of those little toothbrush caps on my toothbrush!

2) If I remember right, I spoke with the author of that fanfic a few months after that happened.

You edge close to the doorway and look outside to try and spy any sign of your friends. Unfortunately the blizzard is much too thick and obscures any detail you might be looking for, like hoofprints in the snow. If you’d had the Binoculars you might be able to see something definitive, but if you recall right, Twist has them.

Other than that, everything outside appears as it did before. Ignoring the large shadow staring daggers at you, that is. But you’re careful not to meet its gaze again.

You backtrack along what is most certainly, and without a doubt, a dark tunnel. Because there are no other paths leading off of it. And it’s poorly lit.

You climb the stairs at the end of the tunnel and come back out at the armory. Since you’re already here, you take his opportunity to grab 2 more Arrows, bringing your total back up to 20. From there you head back into the grand hall with the large table and the metal chairs. You look around but the only exit from here other than the armory, is back outside where you first entered from. And where this all began.

Well…Exit found.

From here you can even see the still-open gate from where you first used the key. Looking into the brightness outside, where the sun isn’t obscured by the snowfall, you check the time on your nifty Multitool to find only an hour has passed. It’s currently 9 AM.

1) DERP

2) That’s just the thing. It has to be organic or it doesn’t mean anything.

3) Strange…

I don’t know that I get very many strange questions. Creepy? Sure. Got an entire tag for that.

…

You know what? I take it back. I got a message once that was evidently in reference to a fanfic about me being decapitated and existing as just a living head. That was the strangest.

1) I don’t have any money to give and there aren’t any charities based in Ponyville.

I’ve donated time to a few across Equestria.

2) Go nuts. I can’t help you make it accurate, though, considering I have no idea what he looked like.

Or if he’s dead.

3) None that I can think of. We’ve never even had a fight.

And not that I want to force us to have a fight, but you kinda need to see what your partner is like when they’re upset with you.

4) Well, yeah. If you eat a lot, you poop a lot. That’s how that works.

And ah…. Whatever doesn’t harm anypony else is…

…

Let’s just not talk about that anymore.

5) Oh and how I’d love to be able to do that. Not so much any character I hold any value for, but to show ponies what I envision. No pony is interested in reading stats and notes, they want to see it for themselves.

6) Of course not, but it might help a little. And it would definitely be cool.

And it’s alright. I guess I’m still a little shaken up by my friend’s passing.

mutedgrey replied to your post: 1) Uh… I’ve never really paid much attention. If…

You’re so hard on yourself! I mean, everyone needs some motivation in order to improve but you really take it farther than that. I went back the other day through some of your older drawings and I thought they were nice!

1) I’ll admit that I can’t remember the last time I had a conversation about poop, but it’s better than constantly getting “How was your day?” and “What did you eat for dinner?”

You know? Ask me a real question that doesn’t involve me having to think back minute-by-minute on what I did during the day.

2) I’m just being realistic.

…

I liked this one. To tell the truth I felt bad when I uploaded it because I spent so much time on it and… it got no likes. No comments. Not a kiss-my-[omitted]. Nothing. It might as well have never happened. I thought I was doing something nice for a little filly and… no one cared one way or the other.

I always try to encourage other ponies; you’ve all so talented and it’s… It’s just been an absolute pleasure to watch each of you improve, day by day. I knew you all could. But I find it hard to encourage myself sometimes. I’m not really that lazy. I’m just so tired of… Not even failing. Just… not mattering. Not making any difference. Not making any impact. If I died today, the only thing I’d ever really be was a tragedy. All I can do is encourage others. But at the end of the day, that doesn’t really amount to anything tangible.

And no, I’m not asking for encouragement, or a lecture about how important I am and I shouldn’t feel that way. I know someponies care about me. You just brought it up, and… [sigh] that’s how I feel.

1) Uh… I’ve never really paid much attention.

If a 1,000 lbs horse poops 50 lbs a day, you’d think a much lighter pony would poop the equivalent of 5 lbs for every 100 lbs.

Without telling you my weight, certainly doesn’t feel like I poop that much a day. Seems like it should be somewhere between half and a quarter of that. I mean, we don’t eat a whole lot; few slices of pizza here and sandwich there. Obviously with ponies like Pinkie Pie who are liable to eat an entire cake, your mileage may vary.

2) You’re very sweet to say that. But I hardly call two hours on this while staring at the exact pose to be any real measure of drawing ability.

This is probably more accurate.

You take stock in your current situation, to try and clear your mind. You aren’t necessarily trapped, just separated from your friends. Though it’s dark, there doesn’t appear to be any clear danger where you’re standing.

You still have your Cloak-Style Blanket, which appears undamaged. After firing two Arrows, you still have 18 left plus the Bow. You have your Food and Water supply along with your Multitool and the Rope. You’ve Lost your Clawed Gauntlet in the fight; if not permanently than at least for the moment.

Now that you’ve calmed down, you can’t help but look down at your chest. You could have sworn you saw something being pulled out while you were pinned against the wall. Then seeping back in once you were rescued, but there’s no visible marking. On the other hoof, you now have a very unsightly scorch mark on your right shoulder. But with any luck that’ll heal over time.

The Giant Shadow has stopped striking the doorway, but it’s still waiting just outside.

1) In your world’s United States, yes. I saw a while ago. However, that doesn’t really have any bearing on our world. Or more specifically, my dimension of our world.

In my dimension a bit is worth roughly ten USD. I calculated that based on things like construction costs and yearly taxes, but I still had to factor in food consumption. If we spend three bits on a bag of apples, that’s roughly 30 USD. That’s going to look really expensive to you humans, but that’s what our economy is based on: food. Food is what we spend our money on.

We don’t pay for things like electricity and water, those are just provided for if you own or rent a home (within limitations). We don’t pay for law enforcement or road repair. We don’t need clothes. The only tax we have is the ownership tax based on 10% of what we own, not what we make.

2) Goodness, you weren’t kidding. That sounds horrible! Worse than a water-based flood!

3) That depends, are you a Homestuck fanboy?

I kid. I kid.

No, I don’t think so. I recall more than a few coming to Gilda, though.

4) [Omitted]!

I knew if I said four it was going to be three!

But yeah! Nocturne was sweet! If I could draw with a reasonable speed I think it’d be cool to do a pony drawblog based on the main character toward the end of the game. You know, reflecting back on what happened before climbing the tower. Just something fun with a hard limit of like 50 responses.

I mean, why not? Everypony else RPs all the time.

Answers after the break

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mutedgrey replied to your post: Answers after the break. 1) Uh. Thanks. I don’t…

I think the numbering on these are a bit out of order due to addressing that one separately. That’s interesting to learn about your horn, though.

Answers after the break

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1) Uh. Thanks. I don’t use blow dryers, though. They damage your hair.

2) Not a problem. We use bottled water.

3) Ugh… And I’m sure your intention in asking is completely pure…

Yeah, but not how you’re thinking. It’s difficult for non-unicorns to understand.

Think of any sensation you feel, but applied to another level of your nervous system. Like how you feel something touching your foreleg or the temperature around you, but while this is happening you also feel something else. That’s what it’s like. And while I know more in depth how it works, I’m not permitted to explain exactly what that something else is. Princess Celestia considers any information about how unicorns use magic to be very hush-hush. There’s always the risk that certain parties, even other unicorns, might try and use that knowledge to produce a negative outcome.

When I chipped my horn as a filly? I still remember that was the most mind-numbingly horrifying pain I’ve ever experienced. And I’ve been through some [omitted], let me tell ya.

…

Anyway, if you want to ask a more specific question, like the one you actually intended, go ahead.

4) About the same way you would if I told you your life was indirectly influenced by some filly in Manehatten.

5) Nope.

6) I wish.

Most of the sheet music I use when playing the lyre was created for piano. Metal doesn’t translate too well to the piano by itself.

7) Absolutely!

I’d follow the Persona one, but I’ve never played a Persona game. I only played Nocturne, and mostly because it was like Pokemon/Jade Cocoon on extreme mode.

8) Been a while since I’ve got one of these.

Thanks.

1) Well, if you ever invent a time machine, you’d only have to go back about six months.

2) There used to be this little site called imeem. No… Wait… That’s how I found Evile…

How did I find Grave Digger? I’ve known about them for quite some time.

I remember I was searching for a track once with a theme around “Chaos” as a little side project, and after almost giving up that’s how I found Megadeth.

I know Excalibur must have been one of the first tracks I heard. That piece still has my favorite solo ever. Very embodiment of “Epic.” And I don’t toss that term around like so many others.

But I couldn’t tell you how I originally found them.

Yeah, Everlasting Love is awesome! Oh but mare, you gotta listen to Lonely Rolling Star! And Angel Gifts! And Katamari of Love is beautiful!

3) Well, I try to treat everypony equally. But yeah, it’s no secret that there’s a favor toward women in our society; young colts are always particularly cross about it when they find out.

It’s just the way things are here, just like how things are the reverse of that in your human world. If you’re a good, honest individual, you try to treat everypony equally. If not, you take advantage of it and perpetuate the divide.

1) How does it feel to be like the fifth anon to ask me that question?

I think I can safely assume at this point that it’s in reference to something.

2 & 3) Well, I appreciate you showing that extra bit of initiative and discovering the answer yourself.

As for Bon-Bon, I think there’s just a bunch of ponies that look like her. Same as me, Carrot Top, Berry Punch, Colgate; who am I kidding? Probably most of the town.

1) Answering that would require my having any knowledge of what you’re talking about.

2) That’s like saying “Ka-You desire to breathe oxygen.”

3) Only a specific ostrich.

4) Well, Gilda got me thinking back to some old memories.

Not terrible memories, but I remember some of them being pretty painful physically.

1) [Omitted]!

It is. And I did. I just forgot to reupload the picture once I noticed it.

It’s fixed now. Thanks for letting me know!

2) Spike… This is about Rarity isn’t it?

…

You know, you really shouldn’t be worrying about a relationship right now anyway. I know it can seem glamorous and “beautiful,” but it’s a lot of hard work. It takes a lot of time and it can be very painful emotionally; I would know.

Plus there’s always a stigma in interspecies relationships. I mean, I still get hate mail from time to time. And Krastos was shot! That’s definitely not something you’re going to want to deal with at your age.

I know it’s hard being told you’re too young for everything. But trust me, one day you’re going to wish you could go back to when things were that simple. Enjoy what you have now the best you can.

1) That bear…?

Yes, I’m still with Krastos. Why?

2) We toys can see eeveerythiing…

3) Yeah… I’ve been talking to your “[omitted]”. She says “this limp [omitted] [omitted] be trippin’. He ain’t [omitted] and if he still wants this fine [omitted] then he’d better quit frontin’, drop to his knees, and beg for me like his life depended on it.”

Not really, but you have a bad attitude. I’m not helping you “put her in her place.”

4) [Knock] [Knock]

5) You were funny until you got to the end there. Then you failed.

6) Nutrition Anon can go suck a lemon.

1) A plane is a type of aircraft, right? Was the water they landed in magic?

2) … Why do you keep asking this…?

We took a bit of a break between courses. We’re about to eat the enchiladas.

3) Well, he’s really smart. That’s always cool to hold on a conversation with, even if I only sorta-kinda follow.

If you mean because he makes glue do I get it for free, I don’t typically use glue. It’s never come up.

4) [Omitted] you, Spike is my homie. We rock the clubs and get fat stacks.

5) Again, don’t know what you’re talking about. And when I tried to look it up I just found a video of two humans acting kinda robotic and reciting lines.

1) Meh, usual stuff. Helping Sweetie when she needs it, music, game, wallow in self-pity instead of actively looking for a job.

Waiting for Boscov right now.

2) Yeah, sure.

As long as you stop asking me to be your waifu.

3) No, this is Patrick.

1) Hiding?

2) And… this is for you! You earned it!

1) Aren’t you clever and current?

2) Did you know teddy bears were named after a bear that saved a filly?

3) Ka-! That has never worked.

4) Stop trying to put words in my mouth just because you aren’t in the know.

krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: 1) Yes. Very yes. We don’t usually spend much…

Yeah. I’m pretty much free for this whole week.

mutedgrey replied to your post: 1) I don’t really know too much about bear…

I still have your grave digger recommendations bookmarked to listen to whenever I want! You’re always welcome to suggest others!

1) See, you think you know what we’re talking about. But you don’t.

2) Hmm.

If you’re alright with it, I could spend the night all this week. Leave to help Sweetie Belle with her school work and come back in the evening.

3) Sure thing!

Devil Went Down to Georgia - Steve Ouimette

Addicted to Chaos - Megadeth

Can’t remember which Grave Digger tracks I recommended last time, so here’s the final battle music from Dynasty Warriors 7.

The Last Battle - Dynasty Warriors 7

1) Yes. Very yes.

We don’t usually spend much time during the week. You in between orders?

2) The name would have to fit the album. Without knowing what the other contributors to the project would do, I couldn’t say.

But the zipped file would probably be something along the line of “Under Fair Use,” as a jab that none of it’s original.

3) No.

Really, that was a strange week anyway. Those sorts of crisis don’t usually happen around Ponyville.

I was sort of starting to believe there was foul play involved. Ever seen that one episode of the Powerpuff Girls?

Gotta dig that song, though.

1) It doesn’t? I mean, I wouldn’t know either way. Not really my thing.

If there isn’t one, it would probably be a community thing. The community can decide to put a halt on the production of certain projects like that, if it has a chance to draw in a bad crowd.

2) Keep trying. I’ll let you know if you suddenly become funny.

3) I’ll be honest. Didn’t know what you were talking about. I tried to find something, but all I got was a video of a girl dancing to some techno in what appeared to be her living room.

4) This is my answer to that.

1) I don’t really know too much about bear holidays.

This bear version of Hearts and Hooves Day sounds interesting…

2) Gorilla~z!

Oh my Cels! What an incredible collab project! My hat’s off to every artist that’s ever worked on that! If I ever get big I’d love to do something like that!

Grave Digger’s still my favorite band.

Antonio Vivaldi’s Four Seasons is an incredible piece.

The entire soundtrack to Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne, minus one, has such a powerful presence. Same goes for the soundtracks to Katamari Damacy and We Love Katamari to a lesser extent, though I can’t speak for the others in the series as I haven’t played them.

I suppose artists or albums that run the gambit instead of the same style throughout catch my attention the most, and that’s what I like to play.

Laharl’s one weakness.

3) Just listen to something else.

Of course, you know, the songs you grow to like never stick at first…

4) Err… Uh… Oh look! A reply from Boscov!

krastosthegluemaker replied to your post: What was the appetizer?

It was… uh… …Let me check the recipe again to remind myself of the name… Oh yes, now I remember… It was… double tomato bruschetta.

Ah yes. Double Tomato Bruschetta. Thanks for the save, Boscov!