Ask Lyra
Month
Lyra: Just… Say something… Please…
[Pause]
Bon-Bon: I felt my heart sink when they mentioned a warehouse… We don’t know anything about Tootsie’s parents, we just know where she was found. But I figured, it’s gotta be a coincidence. But then they mentioned a colt… [Pause] Do you know, Lyra? Do you know that even Champagne doesn’t know that Tootsie was born a colt? My sister says she never intended to keep it a secret from him- it’s just never come up. [Pause] But that doesn’t surprise you. By the time you met Tootsie the scars from the surgery were practically invisible, but you already knew. You knew before you ever met her. [Pause] Now you say something.
Lyra: I’m… sorry…
Bon-Bon: It’s true then? I hoped maybe they were jumping to conclusions… It always ate me up inside, Lyra. What, in all of creation, could justify changing the sex of a baby? [Pause] Oh. They probably wanted to mask her identity. Make sure there was no way of linking her to something so horrifying… No wonder she dreams about blood. Did she see you do it?
Lyra: Yes…
Bon-Bon: You… killed Tootsie’s father… in front of her…? I can’t even fathom how, when you were mortally wounded… No one… Nothing is beyond redemption. That’s supposed to be what separates Equestria from the rest of the world. You can’t get a second chance if you’re dead, Lyra. [Pause] Well, this is just one more thing I can’t tell my own family about. At this rate either Liza’s going to develop a complex or I am… Hah… I just realized… Tootsie was adopted when she was around 6 months. I always thought she was found the day she was born. They must have shipped her to Manehattan immediately.
Bon-Bon: This is upsetting, Lyra. I’m shaken by this. But it’s not why I’m angry.
Dollface: Fillies and Gentlecolts, I feel like we’ve gone a little off track. How about a short recess? You can all head back to the hotel and get yourselves some lunch- our treat of course! We’ll pick things back up in, lets say an hour?
??? 3: If I can even eat anything after that…
[Long Pause]
Sprint: What warehouse? Dolores! What warehouse?
Dollface: It was going to be our last stop tomorrow… The next day, after the attack in this alley… Twelve stallions, seven of which had criminal records, were found murdered in a warehouse near the skydocks.
Tamale: Murdered?
Dollface: Yeah… When they arrived they found one half-dead mare, identity withheld… and one crying, blood-soaked, 6-month-old colt.
Bon-Bon: [Gasp]
Raindrops: Stop. Stop writing!
Tamale: Ah-! Doll! Catch!
Raindrops: Stop it!
Sprint: You better back up, Rain!
Raindrops: You can’t publish this! If the public finds out Lyra committed murder Princess Celestia will be forced to banish her forever! Doll! [Pause] Doll!
Dollface: You’re right… Tamale. Purge: Code Red. We need this done fast. Sprint, you get us a bucket. Rain, secure a location. Toss the ashes off the edge of Canterlot… Hey! I want this spread so wide even magic can’t restore it, you hear? [Pause] In the mean time, I gotta find some way to smooth things over with those rich ponies… And we definitely can’t go to that warehouse… I’ll tell you this much, Lyra. I don’t know how you did it, but I wish I’d been there to stop you… I wouldn’t have left twelve bodies for them to find.
Lyra: Two came from the front…
Dollface: There’s nothing in the report about-
Lyra: One more came up from behind… It was planned.
Dollface: Tamale… Write down everything.
Lyra: One more came flying down from the roof… From the roof.
[Pause]
Bon-Bon: Lyra…?
Lyra: Why? W-… what did they think I going to do? Fly away?
??? 1: Is this part of the tour?
Lyra: The unicorn from behind had a knife… I charged him. Knocked it away, but the other two were right behind me… I ducked a bat and pushed one over into the other, but the pegasus grabbed me by the hair and… just started pulling me straight up… I was on my hindlegs, screaming, flailing at him… Then… the unicorn got the knife back…
Raindrops: Lyra don’t.
Lyra: He held me still and dug the knife into me… here. Then he dragged the blade down…
??? 3: Good gracious!
??? 1: Is this real?! I-Is that scar real?!
Lyra: I… fell… I couldn’t feel anything. Everything was disappearing… I thought I was dead, but I wasn’t afraid… I wasn’t.
Bon-Bon: It’s alright, Lyra. Y-you’re okay now.
Dollface: Then what happened?
Sprint: Doll! For God’s sake!
Dollface: What. Happened?
Lyra: I… I woke up chained to a wall… Locked in a cage, inside of a-
Dollface: Warehouse?
??? 1: So what’s so special about this particular alleyway?
Dollface: This, according to records released to the public, is the location of the last known predatory attack in Canterlot linked to gang activity.
??? 1: Who was-?
Dollface: As with the other locations, no public records reveal the identities of any party involved in the attack.
??? 1: Aww…
??? 2: That’s a shame.
Sprint: Celes…
Raindrops: Still think information has no bias?
Dollface: Ahem. According to this diagram the bulk of the attack was roughly here… Leaving a bloodstain… in about… this shape. The report indicates there was blood along the walls, blood spray on the ground, and a trail of blood leading around that corner before disappearing. The nature of the attack and the fate of the victim is either unknown or unlisted.
??? 3: Can you draw a chalk outline for the other blood markings?
Dollface: Um… For time’s sake, I’ll leave that to your imagination. Let me check my notes and we’ll move on in just a moment.
Hot Tamale: Doll, I’m having like second and third thoughts about this…
Dollface: I know. I know. Insensitive rich pricks… They only signed up for this because it was something exclusive to lord over others… But this information isn’t for them. Remember, we’re doing this for the public.
Lyra: This isn’t right…
Raindrops: You’re darn right, it isn’t.
Lyra: This dumpster was moved. It used to be bolted down here, across from the other one.
Raindrops: Well… That’s not really what I-
Lyra: That would have made the attack here.
Dollface: Hmm?
I realize this probably isn’t the best time, but I have a story to tell.
Turn the clock back to 2011. I was fresh to the MLP fandom, checking EQD every day to see what new wonderous things bronies made today. In the Nightly Roundups, I started seeing a list of ‘Tumblr pony blogs’. On a whim, I opened it up, and soon every day was accompanied with an EQD visit and a check on each of the blogs to see if they’d updated. This was very early Tumblrpon, before the boom, so there were only a few big players. All I remember were a Pinkie Pie drawblog (that’ll be important later), Ask Surprise and Erthilio’s Ask Octavia. Veeerrrry early.
Holy crap, dude! You were the Blanks RP blog? That’s wild!
But there were so many other good ones from before that grimdark Pinkie Pie blog severed the community in half. Things were never the same after that.
Oh well. The sun is always setting, but it’s also always rising. There’s still work to do.
Lyra: Everypony? This is Bon-Bon. Bon-Bon? This is Sparkle Sprint.
Sprint: Hey. Don’t mind the hoof; it still gets the job done.
Bon-Bon: Nice to meet you.
Lyra: Hot Tamale.
Tamale: Hello, and be sure to let me know if you need anything. Maybe lunch?
Bon-Bon: Oh. Um-
Tamale: She’s not spoken for, is she?
Lyra: Nah, but you’re gonna need some celestia luck for that, sister.
Tamale: Some risks are with taking.
Lyra: And I guess this is Dollface, but she used to be a lot more chill.
Dollface: She used to not have so many responsibilities, either. You don’t have any editor or publishing connections, do you?
Bon-Bon: Oh… Sorry.
Dollface: Yeah… Me too… I take it you’re a non-paying guest.
Bon-Bon: Not necessari-
Lyra: We’re not in the best financial situation right now.
Dollface: Yeah? Join the club. Evidently we’ll have T-shirts soon. Speaking of which- Lyra, it is nice to see you again. But as we’ll have some paying guests along the way this time, a certain level of professionalism is necessary. So if you start to feel… upset, I’d appreciate it if you took your wailing a few blocks over- so as not to make anypony uncomfortable.
Raindrops: Right… We wouldn’t want anypony feeling like they didn’t get their moneys worth…
Dollface: Oh ho ho. I haven’t forgotten about you. This is an officially sanctioned tour. That means the guard is going to be watching out for us. So just in case you’re feeling a little outburst-y…? Well, it’d look awful funny for a big hero like yourself to be dragged off by armed soldiers.
[Long Pause]
Raindrops: I really hate her.
Lyra: Um… Hi girls.
Sprint: Holy crap. It really is you.
Tamale: Lyra! Hey!
Dollface: Oh. You’re here for real. Your letter was so last-minute I… Well look, we’re doing a paid tour this year and we actually got a few ponies to sign up-
Raindrops: You’re exploiting our suffering for money?
Dollface: Funding. For the book. No thanks to you, Ms.Got-Out-Early Wonderbolt.
Raindrops: And what’s that supposed to mean?
Dollface: Oh my, I had no idea the Wonderbolt’s lengthy list of exclusive benefits included a spine implant.
Tamale: Come on, girls. Not already.
Sprint: Nah. Let ‘em go at it. I wanna see Rain finally snap and rearrange Doll’s face.
Dollface: Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Sprint: Shoot. Rain here could have broke you in half before she became a big shot. You just stick to pushin’ pencils for us, pencil pusher.
Raindrops: I take it that means you’re still in favor…
Tamale: Sorry, Rain. If history repeats itself out of ignorance, our sacrifices will have been for nothing.
Raindrops: I’m sure that’d look real nice on a T-shirt…
Sprint: T-Shirts. Now there’s an idea. Are you writing this down, pencil pusher?
Dollface: I don’t know. Tamale, are you?
Tamale: Oh! Right!
Lyra: This isn’t everypony, is it?
Raindrops: We used to have a better turnout, but somepony ran them all off.
Dollface: Once this book gets published, you can take your reunion and shove it for all I care. The truth is getting out, whether you like it or not.
[Pause]
Bon-Bon: And I thought my reunions had some tension…
Bon-Bon: I know it’s sort of late to ask, since we’re already on the train, but are you sure it’s alright for me to be here?
Lyra: No.
Bon-Bon: Gee, thanks…
Lyra: What do you want me to do, lie? I don’t even know if it’s alright for me to be going!
Raindrops: Don’t you worry, Lyra. No pony’s gonna turn you away while I’m around.
Lyra: I appreciate that, Raindrops, but that’s not what I’m worried about…
Bon-Bon: Have you ever gone to one of these reunions before?
Lyra: Eh… Once.
Raindrops: Yeah… That one could have gone better… Hey wait. Lyra! That’s not why we stopped talking, was it?
Lyra: It was kind of embarrassing…
Bon-Bon: What happened-?
Raindrops: You listen up, Lyra. You are a strong pony. And just because you’re a strong pony, doesn’t mean you won’t break down. But I want you to know that no matter what, I’m with you! E-even though I can’t physically follow you if you run off, because I have to stay with the group. [Pause] Oh! Plus… you’ve got Bon-Bon! I mean, who else could a pony ask for?
Bon-Bon: Thank you, Raindrops.
Raindrops: Do you feel any better, Lyra?
Lyra: A little.
Raindrops: Good… ‘cause I really don’t like talking so much…
[Long Pause]
Bon-Bon: No one is forcing you to do this, Lyra.
Lyra: Yes they are… I’m forcing me to do this…
Lyra: You go every year, right Raindrops?
Raindrops: Oh sure! They can’t keep me away. I’m the oldest active member. They can’t tell me I can’t go.
Lyra: Uh…
Raindrops: Sorry. I know I’m a little quiet, but I have strong political beliefs.
Lyra: About what?
Raindrops: Oh! I don’t guess you’d know much about that… See, ponies like us… you know, the survivors? We’re kind of divided. The younger ponies want to tell the world about all the bad stuff that happened in Canterlot. Publish a book and everything. But older ponies like me? We know that’s not going to help. It’s just going to put bad ideas in pony’s heads. You know, copycat crimes? You’re actually sort of an oddball for being on our side since you’re younger.
Lyra: I… had no idea there was a movement to publish the truth.
Raindrops: Yeah… The younger ponies have all but chased all the older ones off. But they’ll never get rid of me! And I’ll keep speaking out against them! Protecting ponykind from themselves! It’s what Princess Celestia would want, I’m sure.
Bon-Bon: You look like you slept well. As usual.
Lyra: Uh-huhuhu… Hey. This is kinda stupid, but you haven’t seen…? You know, that letter I get every year…? The one about the reunion. [Pause] Where are you going?
[Pause] [Drawer opening]
Bon-Bon: Here.
Lyra: W-… What in Tartarus, Bon-Bon?! How long have you had this?! The reunion is… next week!
Bon-Bon: And? What does it matter? You never go. You get upset every time the letter arrives. Why bother giving it to you?
Lyra: Are… Are they all in there…?
Bon-Bon: The first one was tear-stained and torn up. Thankfully you’ve toned it down in the years since.
Lyra: But… why? W-why would you keep these?
Bon-Bon: Because for some strange reason I always thought one day you’d want them. That you’d go back- to Canterlot, and really face your past. Connect with ponies that went through the same things you did. Maybe get a bigger picture of what happened. Maybe make a difference in somepony’s life. Honestly? When you started hanging out with Raindrops more I thought it was imminent. Then last year I realized just how much time had passed. So this year I figured “might as well skip it“. Couldn’t bring myself to throw it a way, though.
[Long Pause]
Lyra: Where’s your stationary set?
Bon-Bon: Why? Do you plan on going?
Lyra: I… I don’t know…
Lyra: Princess Luna?
Princess Luna: Hello Lyra.
Lyra: Where am I? And why do you sound different?
Princess Luna: You are asleep, and because I am communicating directly into your mind.
Lyra: Oh… Why are you here?
Princess Luna: Because the last foundations of your resolve have crumbled, and from the remains we may yet construct a healthier method of coping.
Lyra: Oh…
Princess Luna: Lyra, here in the dreamscape I may bring clarity where there was doubt. I may bring hope where there was despair. But I cannot change the past. Nothing will.
Lyra: It’s not fair…
Princess Luna: You are not wrong. But your waking mind avoids what haunts you, so your dreams are plagued with endless nightmares. It is a cycle. One cannot end until the other.
Lyra: Y-you’ve seen-?
Princess Luna: I have.
Lyra: I-I’m s-s-so-
Princess Luna: Do not apologize. Instead, reflect upon this. Your past has constructed who you are. Can you use your past to construct your future?
Lyra: No… Yes?
Princess Luna: Tis not my decision to make. But I see a window of opportunity. And I see friends that will support you. You need only act. I wish you well, Lyra.
Lyra: Wait!
Princess Luna: You may not think yourself deserving of redemption, but I can tell you from experience that nothing good will come of torturing yourself. Now…
Wake up.
I am a good pone. They said it. And good pones get treats.
Give to me treats. I am sitting like a good pone and I await treats.
I am not yet receiving treats and no one is moving. Getting anxious.
Are they paying attention to me? Looking around.
They are not paying attention to me. Getting anxious.
Shifting. Want attention. Want treats. Said good. Good get treats.
Anxious.
Maybe something wrong? Maybe need listen. Protec for treat?
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
WAIT!
IS
THAT
A
SQUIRREL?!
Tootsie: I don’t think this is helping…
Lyra: It’s not a switch, Liza. It’s gonna take a while.
Tootsie: I guess…
[Pause]
Lyra: How long had you been sneaking out? [Pause] What? You think you’re gonna get in more trouble?
Tootsie: A few months…
Lyra: So those students you were with, they weren’t just random ponies. They were your friends? [Pause] Liza.
Tootsie: Yes. Alright? And now I can’t see them anymore because they’re in class all day and I’m in Manehattan on the weekends.
[Pause]
Lyra: You know… If you were to do something undeniably benevolent that left you tired in the evenings, you could go to bed earlier without any question. I mean, Bon-Bon? Ninty-nine times out of one hundred she’s so tired at the end of the day she can’t even think. Her head hits the pillow and she’s out. And… if you still woke up at night, regardless of why… Well, the only reason we knew you were sneaking out at all was because Princess Luna told us.
[Long Pause]
Tootsie: Nurse Redheart? How would I go about volunteering to help out here at the hospital?
Bon-Bon: You’re back! How did it go?
Tootsie: It was fine. I’m just tired.
Lyra: In a mad bid for filly-of-the-year, Liza has decided to volunteer at the hospital.
Bon-Bon: Really? Are you sure about that, Liza?
Tootsie: Yeah. But I’m going to go to sleep. Good night.
Bon-Bon: Oh? But it’s still a little… early…
Lyra: She’s exhausted. Heck, I’m pretty tired. We must have crossed that hospital nine-times-over.
Bon-Bon: How’d she do?
Lyra: Well, she never passed out. [Pause] It’s a process. One trip was never going to cure anything.
Bon-Bon: What about you?
Lyra: What about me?
Bon-Bon: For somepony that jumped at the opportunity to help Liza, you sure have neglected to help yourself.
Lyra: Blood is unavoidable. The things I’ve seen no pony should ever experience again. So it doesn’t matter.
Bon-Bon: Is that what Doctor
Reification
said? [Pause] No comment then? [Pause] Well Lyra, you can ignore me until I walk away. But your own problems? They’ll outlast you.
Lyra: Hey, Liza.
Tootsie: Go away… [Sniff]
Lyra: I know you’re upset, but I need to talk to you about something. It’s not related to the whole sneaking-out thing.
Tootsie: What do you want?
Lyra: Bon-Bon told me about the blood dream. We spoke to Princess Luna about it.
Tootsie: Princess Luna? Great. Now you can’t even stay out of my mind.
Lyra: She said you’re subconsciously fixating on it when you sleep. Is that translating into daydreams?
Tootsie: What do you care?
Lyra: I’ve had similar problems in the past. I’ve seen faces twisted in agony, or heard tormented screams. It’s called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s pretty serious stuff. Do you ever feel afraid, but you’re not sure why? [Pause] How about guilty, but you did nothing wrong? [Pause] Was sneaking out at night affecting your sleep, or did you start sneaking out because you couldn’t sleep?
Tootsie: Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can see it… dripping. I don’t know where it’s coming from… but it’s pooling. Sometimes there’s other pools. Sometimes it’s on shapes. Sometimes it’s on me… Why is this happening?
Lyra: PTSD comes from some kind of stimulant or event. Video games?
Tootsie: That doesn’t sound right…
Lyra: Movies? Books?
Tootsie: It can come from books?
Lyra: Anything that affects you deeply enough. It might not even start right away. It can fester inside you for a long time.
Tootsie: Is there a way to make it stop?
Lyra: Maybe. There’s this thing called Exposure Therapy. We could visit a hospital. Reinforce in your mind that blood is just a thing. [Pause] Unless you-
Tootsie: Anything to make it stop…
Lyra: Come on, then. The sooner we start the sooner it might end.
Bon-Bon: Are they drinking alcohol?
Lyra: Nah, it’s just soda.
Bon-Bon: Are they eating drugs?!
Lyra: Are they eating drugs… Is the line you just subjected me to.
Bon-Bon: Lyra!
Lyra: No, Bon-Bon. It’s just junk food. Like, not even the super-bad-for-you kind.
Bon-Bon: So?
Lyra: So they’re just… sitting outside. Liza is sneaking out at night to go hang with some older students. That’s it… I don’t know how to feel about this.
Bon-Bon: This is still really bad!
Lyra: I mean… it’s bad. But in my mind I was prepared for so much worse. They’re not even that much older than her. If she took a nap after school she wouldn’t even be losing any sleep.
Bon-Bon: That’s not any better! That’d ruin her sleep schedule!
Lyra: Yeah… I know…
Bon-Bon: You do understand we still have to punish her, right?
Lyra: Yeah… It’s just… If this was the worst thing I did when I was her age? I would have expected a marching band to come out and sing about what a well-behaved filly I was.
Bon-Bon: Marching bands don’t typically sing…
Lyra: See? You learned about marching bands while I was learning how to pick locks. And I’m the musical one! I know, I know. What she did was wrong. I just… wish it wasn’t…
??? 2: And my sister is tripping over farm equipment and the “snake’s” still attached to her hoof and the farmer is swinging the axe yellin’ “If you don’t stop I can’t get ‘em!“
[Laughter]
Tootsie: Hey everycreature!
??? 1: Liza!
??? 2: Liza.
??? 3: Hey, Doolittle. What? I’m only foolin’!
??? 1: You always foolin’!
??? 1 & 2: Hahaha!
Tootsie: You guys save me a drink?
??? 2: You got the chips?
Tootsie: Yee-ah!
??? 2: Yee-!
??? 3: Pass me some-ah dat dried carrot goodness!
??? 2: Blam!
??? 3: Ah! Mah brand! You really do care.
Tootsie: Neh. So what’d I miss?
??? 1: Misty Rose was just starting to tell us about that one time with her sister and Golden Harvest’s farm.
??? 2: No I wasn’t…? Oh! Well, the first thing you need to know about my sister is that she is deathly afraid of… snakes. Like, end of the world, salvation lies across this bridge, but there’s a snake in the way? “Eh. I’m good.“
[Laughter]
??? 2: “It was- It was getting too hot here anyway. Just… bring on that heat-death of the universe!”
[Laughter]
Bon-Bon: I hate that we’re stalking her. Why didn’t I just ground her again?
Lyra: Because once we confront Liza, she’s gonna lie. The only way to know for certain what she’s been up to is if we see it ourselves.
Bon-Bon: What if she’s endangering herself? We’re already outside of town.
Lyra: Well, she’s nearing the fork. Either Liza’s sneaking into Twilight’s Castle to go to the human world, or possibly mack on Spike… which’d mean I’d have to kill him… Or else she’s sneaking into the Friendship School… for some reason.
Bon-Bon: PleaseBeTheFriendshipSchoolPleaseBeTheFriendshipSchool-
Lyra: There’s no way its the Friendship School.
Bon-Bon: Shut up! PleeeeeaseBeTheFriendshipSchool!
[Long Pause]
Lyra: What the hay.
Bon-Bon: Why is she sneaking into the Friendship School?!
Lyra: I thought that’s what you wanted!
Bon-Bon: Shut! Up! I’m putting a stop to this!
Lyra: Nooooononononononononono no no no no. No. No. We can’t give her any opportunity to act like this is a misunderstanding or the first time. We see this through. Then we ground the snot out of her.
Bon-Bon: My sister’s gonna kill me…
Lyra: Yeah probably. [Pause] What? Ow!
Bon-Bon: Thank you for seeing us, your highness. And on such short notice.
Princess Luna: Consider it no inconvenience. One of our duties is to hold court, there is just… rarely a need.
Lyra: I’m… sorry?
Princess Luna: Do not concern yourself. Tis but a consequence of our work ethic. And to be frank, we prefer it that way. But you are here regarding Liza Doolots, are you not?
Bon-Bon: Yes! Y-Your majesty
Princess Luna: Investigation of her dreams continue. Alas, the trail has grown quite cold. My perception begins and ends with her own. If she cannot create a clear vision, there is little I can resolve, save to dispel the sight.
Lyra: So she is seeing blood!
Princess Luna: That certainly appears to be the case. However, the context is absent. And to that end, her psychological reaction is… extreme.
Bon-Bon: Seeing blood isn’t supposed to be extreme?
Princess Luna: Throughout the night you will witness countless images devoid of context. While some invoke stronger reactions than others, tis not until you begin associating these that you truly dream. Liza often fixates on the color red. And that red often takes on a liquid form of varying consistency. Most would have only a mild reaction to such a vision, but Liza is quite disturbed by it. The cause of her fixation and why she is bothered are unclear. And yet, rarely do true dreams manifest from these visions. We do not presently consider them a cause for concern. Many ponies have strong fixations-
Lyra: Wait! It’s not affecting her sleeping? Then why isn’t she sleeping well?
Princess Luna: Oh… She’s sneaking out at night.
Bon-Bon: WHAT?!
Bon-Bon: Lyra… You really never said anything to Liza?
Lyra: What? No.
Bon-Bon: No backward comment. No sideways remarks.
Lyra: No!
Bon-Bon: Nothing that could be interpreted or lead somepony to start imagining-?
Lyra: No! I don’t want Liza to know she was adopted! I never wanted to know I was adopted!
[Pause]
Bon-Bon: I’m wondering if maybe she should know, before-
Lyra: Absolutely not. All it does is lead to a lifetime of insecurity. Trust me, I know. [Pause] Ribbon was right. Liza looks enough like her and Champagne that she should never question it. [Pause] She has said something to you, hasn’t she?
Bon-Bon: I was thinking back… and I remember a few months ago she mentioned something about a nightmare. Said there was a lot of red, and she thought it might be blood, but that she wasn’t sure. And… I’ve been noticing bags under her eyes on and off lately. I questioned it- she’s obviously not sleeping well, but she just shrugged it off. Maybe it’s reoccurring?
Lyra: Do we know anything about what happened to Liza’s real parents?
Bon-Bon: If Ribbon knows, she’s never brought it up.
Bon-Bon: You look upset.
Ribbon: [Sigh] Liza’s teacher assigned one of those “who do you most admire” essays…
Bon-Bon: I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it.
Ribbon: It was a top five! How is your own mother not in the top five? My husband was there, of course.
Lyra: I wasn’t there, was I?
Ribbon: Praise Celestia, no!
Lyra: Oh good. I don’t have to be in this conversation then.
Ribbon: I don’t understand… Does she hate me?
Bon-Bon: Have you tried talking to her about this?
Ribbon: Oh sure. That’ll go over about as well as any other time I try talking to her about literally anything. To this day, she has still avoiding explaining that unsightly knot that wound up on her head a few years ago.
Lyra: It just sounds to me like teen rebellion. You’re the authority figure.
Ribbon: Well I certainly never signed up for this!
[Pause]
Bon-Bon: Technically… You literally did sign up for this.
Ribbon: Yes I-… You don’t suppose that…? Liza doesn’t know does she?
Bon-Bon: She’s never made any indication to me.
Lyra: Me neither. Though you have to figure she’s going to piece it together eventually.
Ribbon: There is literally no reason she should ever “piece it together”!
Lyra: Hey! I’ve said nothing to her! I still think it’s just teen rebellion!
Ribbon: Well I hope you’re right… The last thing I want is for her to start looking for answers she’s never going to accept.
I just realized all the kids growing up with Spotify don’t have to spend money on specific music anymore, so they probably won’t have the memory of saving up money to buy their first CD and having it be something super cringy…like I think I saved up $15 for three weeks to buy the Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack at Barnes & Noble when I was 9 and I was really proud of myself for that. Add your first CD you were way too proud of buying in the tags
Show…? Must mean the cameras…
But hey there! I’ve answered that one before, and it’s a longer answer, so I’ll just link to it.
As for playing one, cutie mark or not, I’m really not the best. And it’s not exactly a contemporary instrument. So, I don’t get a lot of work as a musician. I’ve uploaded a bunch of stuff over the years, though I don’t really record much that I play anymore.
Cute? Awesome? Well, I do try to keep some bounce in my mane. But y-you know, it’s no big.
These are the rest of the treats @allgreymatters sent me! I got doggies and candies and skullies! The holographic ones are my favorite (specifically the one that says SPOOKY and turns into an eye)!
Sorry it took me so long to upload this. And sorry the lighting in my room is so bad (it used to not be this bad).
Lyra: Yee! For Nightmare Night, I’m going as Lori from Night in the Woods!
Bon-Bon: I’m going as a Will-o-Wisp. Which basically just means I’m going to be wearing a plain, white dress wrapped in blue Hearth’s Warming lights on a pulse timer.
Tootsie: I’m going as a Maredragora!
Lyra: And it’s a pretty elaborate costume, too!
Tootsie: Thanks!
don’t say “but sexuality is fluid” when a girl tells you she has no interest in men
If someone says this to you:
“Yeah but fluids solidify at low temperatures and you’re not that hot”
I know I reblogged this mere hours ago, but it’s so good I wanna do it again.
I am genuinely upset that I will never get the chance to use this one.
Because
Holy
Lyra: I can’t believe you all liked that episode…
Blossomforth: What? It was good! Cocoon was there! He’s always great!
Lyra: Ugh! Cocoon is the worst villain in the show. Why does everycreature like him?
Blossomforth: He’s devious and sneaky and dangerous and… he looks cool! He doesn’t just fight the heroes, he tricks them!
Raindrops: The doppelgangers were pretty cool.
Lyra: The doppelgangers were pretty cool-
Blossomforth: Cocoon made them!
Lyra: How?! Where was this skill acquired? And why was it never used until now?! Nevermind how much of a waste it all was. That plot thread went no where!
Blossomforth: He needed to find the source of the heroes’ powers!
Lyra: Which never would have worked if the heroes were acting like themselves! The writers could have done anything to fill in that gap, but instead they introduced these six doubles and dumbed down even Twain and Jacob just so everything would “work out”. Just like always! Every time Cocoon shows up the heroes act like lunatics! [Pause] No offense.
Princess Luna: We shall not feign that no injury was incurred.
Lyra: Sorry…
Princess Luna: You are forgiven.
Raindrops: Did… you watch the episode, your highness?
Princess Luna: Indeed. We found the plot structure to be rather juvenile, but resigned that the objective was comedy. And in that regard, believe a moderate success was enjoyed.
Bon-Bon: Kinda weird not being the only adult in the room for a change…
Well that episode sucked. Gonna have to get the ol’ cartoon club back together just so I can make fun of it.
You never call! Are you eating enough vegetables? Where’s my grandkids? Other things mothers say in shows and video games!
But how ya doin’, friendo? Still listin’ to jazz and taking shots at antiquated social conventions? Scare any Youtubers lately?
Lyra: Alright, you ready?
Bon-Bon: Not… really. How are you supposed to hold this thing?
Lyra: Like this!
Bon-Bon: Oh, okay.
Lyra: Alright, so these two are your attack buttons.
Bon-Bon: What’s the difference?
Lyra: This is for your basic attacks and this is for your specials. You press this one a bunch to do your basic combo, but you can press this one in the middle of a combo to do a special move. You can also just press it whenever, usually to activate some character-specific gimmick. Oh! But sometimes you have to press it a bunch too. Both by itself and in the middle of a combo. And other times you’ll press it once, and then mash the basic one. Then you press this button to dodge, but hold it to dodge and then go into a sprint. Then you have this button that activates your super special move, if you have a full meter. I usually use it to counter an enemy if-
Bon-Bon: W-which meter?
Lyra: This one! But each notch represents a separate charge for use. Then you just have your secondary weapons, your spirit focus, your lock-on, and your block button, and that’s-… Where you goin’? Bon-Bon! It’s a simple button-masher, I swear! [Pause] Ugh. Alright, Liza.
Tootsie: You know my conditions.
Lyra: Bu… but I want to play as Sheik for once!
Tootsie: You can be Toon Link.
Lyra: Blugh!
Lyra: He… [Shutter] He was an undercover guard… When I turned him in, I blew his cover. There were tons of arrests, but he said he had almost traced the source… And I ruined everything…
Bon-Bon: Lyra… I…
Lyra: He was furious. Said he never loved me. That it was all part of the act. That he secretly hated me. I don’t know how much of it was true and how much was just anger, but it hurt… It… It never stopped hurting. [Pause] And I failed. I failed Princess Celestia again. Took another 6 months before they stopped the drug trade, and however many ponies died along the away. Because of me.
Bon-Bon: It… It wasn’t your…
Lyra: After that was when I got the job
working on the castle grounds… Sometimes I wondered if it was just to
keep me out of the way.
Bon-Bon: Princess Celestia wouldn’t… She couldn’t have blamed you.
Lyra: I spent all my bits getting drunk. I wanted to forget everything. Everything that happened; everything I was- If I could… If I could just be somepony else… It didn’t work…
Bon-Bon: That was when…
Lyra: I’m still alive, but I can’t speak to her. I don’t deserve to. Any social event she’s at I make it a point to avoid her. Whenever I’m involved I just make things worse for her…
Bon-Bon: And how do you think that makes her feel? Avoiding her, I mean.
Lyra: Relieved?
Bon-Bon: Relieved… Does that sound like Princess Celestia? Look, I can’t speak on behalf of the princess… but I’m gonna! Princess Celestia loves you! You may not have believed in yourself, but all those things you said to that imposter were true. I’m sorry about what happened, but I can’t believe you allowed this to stand between you two! You need to reunite. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but this… This can’t end like this. And I know she wouldn’t want it to…
Bon-Bon: Hey, Lyra.
[Pause]
Lyra: Hey, Bon-Bon.
Bon-Bon: We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.
[Pause]
Lyra: So… How was the play?
Bon-Bon: I didn’t go. I caught Raindrops after the show. She said Princess Celestia wasn’t even in it. She was behind-the-scenes working stage direction. Said it was good, though.
Lyra: I’m sorry…
Bon-Bon: Raindrops is the one you should be apologizing to. You never promised me you were going to be there. [Pause] I get it. It’s one of those “complicated things”. No use in even asking, so I won’t.
Lyra: I just… I don’t deserve to be around her…
Bon-Bon: Why? Princess Celestia raises the sun for everypony, not just you.
Lyra: It’s not the same.
Bon-Bon: Why? Without her none of us would be here. All of us owe our lives to her, not just you.
Lyra: It’s more personal than that.
Bon-Bon: Why? Because she gave you a place to stay? Your actions contributed to the eventual end of the gangs in Canterlot! You can’t seriously believe you owe anything! You spoke out and turned in your own coltfriend! [Long Pause] That was another lie… wasn’t it?
Lyra: I mean, you’re going, right?
Raindrops: Oh absolutely! I can’t wait to see Princess Celestia on stage. And… Um…
Lyra: You’re leanin’ in kinda close there-
Raindrops: I’ll actually be there on official Wonderbolt business, watching over the Princess. Shhh~…
Lyra: Oh, okay.
Raindrops: I bet you’re so excited! This must be a big deal for you!
Lyra: Eh heh heh… Ah W-why would…? [Pause] Why would it be a big deal to me specifically?
Raindrops: Oh… I don’t know… I always got the impression that Princess Celestia meant a lot to you. She helped you or something, right?
Lyra: Yeah… Kinda…
Raindrops: You’re going to be there though for the play, aren’t you?
Lyra: Eh-I… Y-eah! Of course!
Raindrops: Oh good! I’ll try to find you so we can sit together. It’ll be nice to talk to Bon-Bon some more, too. I don’t think we get to talk enough these days.
Lyra: Hey Bon-Bon.
[Pause]
Lyra: Hu… How’s it-?
Bon-Bon: You haven’t heard.
Lyra: Heard wha-?
Bon-Bon: Princess Celestia- No… Princess Twilight’s friendship school is putting on a play. It- Oh, in Ponyville. It’s going to be about how Princess Celestia first rose the sun. And THE REAL DANGED PRINCESS CELESTIA IS GOING TO PLAY HERSELF!
[Pause]
Bon-Bon: If you manage to pick your jaw up off the floor in the next hour, I could use some things from the market before it closes.
[Long Pause]
